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Yachupitzville Development Project Opens to Little Fanfare

Yachupitzville Development Project Opens to Little Fanfare

Jewish developer saddened by complete lack of interest.


Multi-billionaire, real-estate developer, Gershon Katzman, stood alone at the gates of his latest endeavor, Yachupitzville. "I don't understand it," Katzman said, shaking his head. "We used the finest materials and the craftsmanship in Yachupitzville is second to none. Because of all the crime in the city, we picked an area that was extremely far away -- peaceful and calm -- so that families would be attracted to our neighborhood. And? Nothing!"

Katzman lamented that, as a real estate mogul, he should have been wary when he got such an incredible deal on the land amid a red-hot real estate market, but he nonetheless dreamed big and built 7000 new homes for an estimated 20,000 people. As of publication date, not one home had been sold and Katzman grudgingly admitted that no one has even come to look at a show-home.

When asked what he thought the problem might be, Katzman said, "I don't know! I had a marching band that was supposed to come today to create some buzz for the grand opening and I was hoping to ask them, but they never showed up!" When reached by Jewlarious, Drum Major Jill Robinson commented, "We left town hours ago and we keep seeing these signs ‘Yachupitzville' and there are arrows in every direction and then we get to the next sign and the arrows point every which way again. We pulled over at a gas station and asked directions – it wasn't even on the map!"

Trying to generate interest, Katzman started paying busloads of prospective buyers to visit the site. "You wouldn't believe the incompetence. Eight bus drivers all run out of gas – some two or three times each. What happened to old-fashioned work ethic?"

Katzman, known for his unquenchable energy, still maintained his vision for the project. "We are forging ahead with Yachupitzville, Phase II – another 21,000 homes, only further down the road." Katzman added, "I am not making the same mistake twice. Yachupitz-two will be like nothing you have ever seen, if anyone comes to see it."


July 21, 2007

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Visitor Comments: 1

(1) Allen Zack, July 28, 2007 12:28 PM

Sounds interesting

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