Al Jazeera's New Fall TV Lineup
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Al Jazeera's New Fall TV Lineup

Al Jazeera's New Fall TV Lineup

From "Who Wants to Be a Militant" to "Fatah Knows Best," the new shows are sure to be a hit. Or else!

by

A Jewlarious Entertainment Exclusive

DOAH, QATAR – Arab super station Al Jazeera proudly announced it will begin producing new and updated versions of currently cancelled former US shows. This fall's revival will see some of America's most beloved television characters resurrected under Sharia Law.

Al Jazeera's CEO Sheikh Hamad "The Chairman" bin Thamer Al Thani unveiled his station's new line-up beginning with the newly restructured ‘Studio 60 on the Gaza Strip'. While the stations's execs were beaming with pride, Qatari critics were quick to call the Sheikh's judgement into question by broadcasting shows that seemingly glorified American culture and decadence.

Quickly changing gears to accommodate the mood in the room, he presented two new reality programs -- ‘Who Wants to Be a Militant?' and ‘Fatah Knows Best'.

But not before allowing time for his doctor proscribed sedatives to take effect. The Sheikh subsequently went on a rabid attack screaming, "I don't have to remind everyone here that there is still plenty of room on my Chopping Block... to axe a variety of television shows in development."

Below is a listing of Al Jazeera's upcoming shows, reprinted without permission as they were snatched out and away from The Sheikh's hands as he was being carted out of the room to a local sanitarium.

Al Jazeera's 2007 Fall TV Line-Up

STUDIO 60 ON THE GAZA STRIP

Show Synopsis: Two executive producers of a weekly sketch-comedy show find ‘resistance' at every turn. This one hour comedy drama is best described as a twist of Aaron Sorkin with a modern Arab flavor. F.Y. I. Aaron Sorkin is an American screenwriter, producer, playwright and Jew who also created ‘The West Wing'- not to be confused with Hamas' non-terrorist ‘Charitable Wing'.

THE ELECTRIC COMPANY

Genre: Children's programming

Show Synopsis: Hey you guys!

Learning how to spell H-O-L-Y-W-A-R was never this much fun...That is until Israel got serious about terrorist assaults and finally cut off Gaza's electricity leaving the ‘kids' to fend for themselves.

Turn out the lights and turn on The Electric Company.

I MARRIED A MARTYR

Genre: Comedy

Show Synopsis: He's a successful city planner who wants to build up his Arab town. She's his new bride who wants to blow it off the map. The comedy ensues when a wife obsessed with dreams of 72 eunuchs who want to blow up just about everything.

I LOVE LUNACY

Genre: Design and Fashion

Show Synopsis: Watch this team of Iranian "lunatics" give women the makeovers of their dreams: throw away that old drab black burqa and exchange if for a new drab black burqa. These gals can make anyone's toes look beautiful.

I DREAM OF JIHAD

Genre: Situation Comedy

Show Synopsis: A "moderate" Moslem rubs an antique lamp the wrong way, conjuring up the late spirit of Yasser Arafat to do his bidding.

SURVIVOR: LEBANON

Genre: Reality Program

Show Synopsis:

Who will be the ultimate survivor! Does anyone still care? They should. The winner continues to the next series' Survivor: Guantanamo Bay with Full Immunity!

THE FLYING NUN

Genre: Situation Comedy

Mayhem and gospel are spread over Judea and Samaria when a nun has nowhere to land because her church was burned to the ground after terrorists took refuge there.

YOU BET YOUR LIFE

Genre: Game Show

Show Synopsis: Contestants (hostages) plead in front of a camera for their safe release. Winners are announced after the ransoms are received from the ‘Host' countries.

NEWS

Show Synopsis: Original Comedy Programming

Published: October 6, 2007


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Visitor Comments: 3

(3) Kelly Woo, October 10, 2007 1:04 AM

finally!!!

Jewlarious is funny!

(2) Chaim, October 9, 2007 4:27 PM

Very funny. Let's see more Newton Hoffer material.

Suggestion for next "peace conference":
Labour, Meretz, Haaretz newspaper, Peres, Olmert and friends delighted by Mahmoud Abbas' latest peace proposal to turn Israel into website. "We really do have a peace partner", Olmert enthused. "We need to make serious concessions. For instance, I'm planning to join my sons in New York. Israel will be much better off if we turn it into a website. Think of the millions of hits Israel will get every day. Instead of the mere thousands Israel got from terrorist rockets". Peace partner Mahmoud Abbas enthused:
"It would be no problem making peace with Israel if there weren't any Israelis. The problem is when there are Israelis there. The issue becomes a nonstarter".

(1) Charles E Bernard, Jr, October 8, 2007 7:11 PM

Hilarious!!!

Very funny!!

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