A Jewlarious Entertainment Exclusive
DOAH, QATAR – Arab super station Al Jazeera proudly announced it will begin producing new and updated versions of currently cancelled former US shows. This fall's revival will see some of America's most beloved television characters resurrected under Sharia Law.
Al Jazeera's CEO Sheikh Hamad "The Chairman" bin Thamer Al Thani unveiled his station's new line-up beginning with the newly restructured ‘Studio 60 on the Gaza Strip'. While the stations's execs were beaming with pride, Qatari critics were quick to call the Sheikh's judgement into question by broadcasting shows that seemingly glorified American culture and decadence.
Quickly changing gears to accommodate the mood in the room, he presented two new reality programs -- ‘Who Wants to Be a Militant?' and ‘Fatah Knows Best'.
But not before allowing time for his doctor proscribed sedatives to take effect. The Sheikh subsequently went on a rabid attack screaming, "I don't have to remind everyone here that there is still plenty of room on my Chopping Block... to axe a variety of television shows in development."
Below is a listing of Al Jazeera's upcoming shows, reprinted without permission as they were snatched out and away from The Sheikh's hands as he was being carted out of the room to a local sanitarium.
STUDIO 60 ON THE GAZA STRIP
Show Synopsis: Two executive producers of a weekly sketch-comedy show find ‘resistance' at every turn. This one hour comedy drama is best described as a twist of Aaron Sorkin with a modern Arab flavor. F.Y. I. Aaron Sorkin is an American screenwriter, producer, playwright and Jew who also created ‘The West Wing'- not to be confused with Hamas' non-terrorist ‘Charitable Wing'.
THE ELECTRIC COMPANY
Genre: Children's programming
Show Synopsis: Hey you guys!
Learning how to spell H-O-L-Y-W-A-R was never this much fun...That is until Israel got serious about terrorist assaults and finally cut off Gaza's electricity leaving the ‘kids' to fend for themselves.
Turn out the lights and turn on The Electric Company.
I MARRIED A MARTYR
Show Synopsis: He's a successful city planner who wants to build up his Arab town. She's his new bride who wants to blow it off the map. The comedy ensues when a wife obsessed with dreams of 72 eunuchs who want to blow up just about everything.
I LOVE LUNACY
Genre: Design and Fashion
Show Synopsis: Watch this team of Iranian "lunatics" give women the makeovers of their dreams: throw away that old drab black burqa and exchange if for a new drab black burqa. These gals can make anyone's toes look beautiful.
I DREAM OF JIHAD
Genre: Situation Comedy
Show Synopsis: A "moderate" Moslem rubs an antique lamp the wrong way, conjuring up the late spirit of Yasser Arafat to do his bidding.
Genre: Reality Program
Who will be the ultimate survivor! Does anyone still care? They should. The winner continues to the next series' Survivor: Guantanamo Bay with Full Immunity!
THE FLYING NUN
Genre: Situation Comedy
Mayhem and gospel are spread over Judea and Samaria when a nun has nowhere to land because her church was burned to the ground after terrorists took refuge there.
YOU BET YOUR LIFE
Genre: Game Show
Show Synopsis: Contestants (hostages) plead in front of a camera for their safe release. Winners are announced after the ransoms are received from the ‘Host' countries.
Show Synopsis: Original Comedy Programming