The Compulsion to Coupon
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The Compulsion to Coupon

The Compulsion to Coupon

There was no one more frugal than my dad. And we loved him for it

by

Ah. Hectic Sunday mornings here in Los Angeles lately bring back a wash of childhood memories and a longing for their comforting rituals: an enormous breakfast, usually fried matzah, soaked in egg, fried in butter and onions; Mom retiring to the den to listen to, and sing along with, some Metropolitan Opera matinee; Dad crankin' up the sports event du jour on the console, burrowing into his barcolounger and grabbing the big, fat, multi-sectioned Sunday paper. But it was in his reach for the handy scissors from his side table where the family peace would be disrupted.

My kid sister and I had probably already appropriated the scissors. We'd be sitting at his feet with our paper doll books, (a primitive precursor to video games) trimming their two dimensional bodies, and cutting the latest looks with their all important white tabs that hooked those chic clothes onto those fair-haired and fragile girls, from their book. To us, this was important work. And the duel would begin.

My father, our resident hunter/gatherer with no new lands to conquer or tribes to vanquish, was a coupon compulsive, taking fervent pleasure in the careful extrication along the dotted lines of those precious discount-giving rectangles. He would pile them like dollar bills, rifle through them like his Monopoly money, count them, total and savor the possible pennies to be saved, newsprint smeared all over his fingertips (coupons were all black and white in those days), coaxing, bullying, guilt-tripping, teasing to talk us out of, then reluctantly relinquishing the scissors. He refused to buy another set til they had coupons for them.

My father would pile his coupons up like dollar bills, count them and savor the possible pennies to be saved.

My father prided himself on his thrift, often driving five miles out of his way to buy toilet paper for five cents off. Gas erupted from a bottomless cheap pit in those days; toilet paper, in limited supply for the masses during the Depression, did not. He was such a wheeler dealer. He'd try to sell my sister and me his home baked sugar cookies "one for a dime, two for a quarter" and chortle at our resisting the treat to figure it out with paper and pencil (early form of calculator). He was too mischievously twinkly to trust. He said he still awaited the rebate that was supposed to accompany his purchase of me, but I wasn't holding my breath. He told my sister he'd gotten her for two books of green stamps, but she never really believed him.

What he especially loved later in his life, when prices escalated and deals evolved, was doing the arithmetic to deduce that the four pack of batteries in a new fangled blister pack for a quarter saved was a better deal than a single battery purchased at the hardware store. He sometimes bragged that the purchases he made ended up paying him.

"I made fifty cents on this deal and got the film for free!" That was a good day for my post retirement Dad. Coupons became his raison d'etre of deal making.

Later in life, one of his favorite things about his visits to me in Los Angeles was the supermarket chain with the double coupons: "Can you believe the savings!"

He'd ponder my future while we were visiting Hollywood's Wax Museum for half off, figuring out why I needed things he'd never have bought if he were home--things he would not have purchased were it not for the double coupons and ‘if you can find it lower elsewhere' making them a quarter of their value. He'd proudly lay them at my feet, like a cat with a recently dismember rat, and await praise.

"But, Dad, dear? I'll never use white strips on my teeth or the economy size drum of bleach on the laundry." The discounted giant hand lotion would mold before I used it up. New chemical compounds would form on the supersize carton of milk in my dairy free diet. My patient friend James, an exemplar of gentility, would also suffer an onslaught of free MacDonald's fries, free, large popcorns at the movies and would ask me beseechingly to call my coupon crazy father off.

Toward the end of Dad's life, his personal crusade was restoring the coupon culture in the internet age. "Coca Cola issued the first coupons in 1894 and in 1994 they are trying to kill them. It's a tradition. It's a disgrace! You have lost my business!" he would write to their complaint department and get a free case of Classic Coke for his trouble. Hence began his new hobby -- harassing the complaint departments at Proctor and Gamble, then crowing with the triumph of the pay offs he received, the spoils which he'd give away as treats at Halloween to baffled children. When Internet coupons became prevalent in this Modern Age, he felt it a personal triumph, even though he personally, printer-less, could not cash in.

So now, on Sunday mornings, missing my late father, I shove aside the pithy, but coupon-free, New York Times in favor of the colorful, coupon-laden local newspaper. I delay the front page's end-of world alerts, the oh-so urgent movie listings ("See This Movie or Die!"), the far out fashion quarterly, in search of the coupon supplement. I become Melanie the Ripper -- a "tearerist" rather than a "cutter"-- honoring the perforations, protecting the expiration dates. I'll save a few bucks this week on a couple household cleaning items, probably enough to cover the cost of that local paper I'll never read, but mainly, my coupon compulsion will be a cozy communion with my frugal father.

Published: January 5, 2008


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Visitor Comments: 6

(6) debbi rubin, January 15, 2008 11:38 AM

they all grow up together

The funny thing about this article is that you could have written this about my father too. Just because we had a large basement and shelves to go along with it we bought things in large amounts inc frozen food for the upright freezer what more can I say but thanks for the memories

(5) Dvirah, January 12, 2008 1:32 PM

Needs Must....But Must We?

My family also depended heavily on coupons when I was growing up and frankly, I am relieved that they are no longer necessary. I have found that finding the "right" places* to shop at will allow me to purchase at bargain prices without the need to collect and use coupons. Using coupons I found to be awkward in the extreme: there was the danger of losing them as they bulged my wallet, the need to buy only a particular brand or sub-brand of product (which was not always available when I did the shopping) and in particular the hold-up they caused at the checkout counter, as the clerk worked thru them checking expiry dates and comparing them to the purchased items. I was subject routinely to harrasment and nasty comments by the impatient shoppers waiting for me to pay up and finished. It is with profound joy that I toss the coupon laden pages away each week!

*this method also has a potential disadvantage: the "right" place may be different for each type of item (ie, food, cleaning materials, etc.) so it means graduated shopping instead of buying all one's needs at a "go." So it's up to each individual to decide which method is suited to him/her.

(4) B, January 8, 2008 11:53 AM

Coupons are a constitutional right, not a privilege!

Hey, if it wasn't for coupons how do you think I could have afforded my home in Bel Air. :-)

(3) Stu Shiffman, January 8, 2008 11:06 AM

A constant in out lives

Coupon clipping (so different from that done by the rich) was a constant in our lives growing up. My parents came from fairly frugal borderline economic backgrounds and, while my dad worked two jobs in the garment industry (the second all night and evening doing pattern grading in our basement), there was still never enough money (is there ever?). So my mom was always very proactive in scouring the circulars for the best sales, manufacturer's coupons and who gave the most green stamps. Remember green stamps and their redemption centers?

Now, I have a coupon for one burger free at the neighborhood Pig & Whistle pub when equal or greater entree is ordered...

(2) david barker, January 8, 2008 10:11 AM

money

Sounds like my father, but having a grandfather for a Pawn Broker. Its of no suprise

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