U.N. Demands Israel Supply Electricity, Rockets, to Hamas
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U.N. Demands Israel Supply Electricity, Rockets, to Hamas

U.N. Demands Israel Supply Electricity, Rockets, to Hamas

Says Middle East violence won't end until Israel gives rockets to Hamas terrorists for use on Israeli citizens.

by

JEWLARIOUS SATIRE: After the town of Sderot faced an unprecedented number of Kassam missile attacks -- 200 in one week -- and Israel responded by cutting off supplies to Hamas terrorists in the Gaza Strip, their tactical reaction drew heavy criticism from the United Nations.

John Holmes, U.N. Emergency Relief Coordinator, angrily stated, "To stop supplying Hamas terrorists with electricity and Kassam rockets is the most severe form of collective punishment.

 

"To stop supplying Hamas terrorists with electricity and Kassam rockets is the most severe form of collective punishment."

 

Holmes added, "How can the cycle of Middle East violence end if Israel doesn't initiate faith building gestures like supplying rockets to a well-known terrorist entity that will be used to target innocent Israeli civilians?"

As Hamas turned its attention to destabilizing Egypt, sending thousands fleeing across the border between Egypt and Gaza, Jewlarious contacted Hamas's patrons in Tehran. Iran's Ambassador to the United Nations Dr. Javad Zarif, reached at the Qazanchi Terrorist Training Center located at the Ravansar-Kermanshah-Kamyaran tri-junction commented, "What the Israelis are doing is reprehensible. We have gone to great lengths to supply these rockets to Hamas and are deeply concerned that Israel is doing everything possible not to let them use them."

Zarif added, "Did I mention that we bought the rockets from Kim Jong-Il at 50% off the retail price? That guy has gone crazy -- crazy about good deals. I'm telling you -- he won't be undersold!"

Meanwhile, at the UN, Libya, as Head of the Security Council, tabled a resolution condemning Israel's reaction without mention of the Hamas attacks. The non-binding resolution, opposed by the United States, reads, "Hamas terrorists are super-nice guys who volunteer at orphanages and hug lepers. Israelis on the other hand are really really bad."

Israeli Ambassador to the United Nations, Dan Gilerman, responded by stating, "It's like the UN has an idiot farm and just harvests these people each week."

Published: January 26, 2008


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Visitor Comments: 7

(6) J Walker, February 7, 2008 4:36 AM

UN---United Nuckleheads

You know, back when the UN was the League of Nations in Woodrow Wilson's days, it probably had some interesting and heartfelt good ideas...but as time passed, so did their ideals-----they have become the politically correct of supporting terrorism, while getting the US and their peacemakers, involved in every Big Brother action around. Why the US doesn't pull out of the United Nuckleheads is beyond me..

(5) Cynthia Messina, February 5, 2008 3:02 PM

There are no words for how the UN acts,anyone who thinks they can make peace with killers must have something we dont know about on their minds.Cindy

(4) Moshe, January 29, 2008 11:58 PM

If you think that the UN is the only place made up of nutcases, despots and dictators, visit South Africa!

While the UN's "peacekeepers" have a perchant for molly-coddling the corrupt and wicked - and Israel seems to be fair-game when threatening her independence - you should visit Africa where not one day goes by without mass slaughter of innocents - and it's ordained by the political juntas.

(3) Anonymous, January 29, 2008 11:55 PM

PRESSURE ON ISRAEL

AMAZING THAT ISRAEL ALWAYS HAS TO B THE GOOD GUY AND DO THE RIGHT THING AS ITS ENEMIES JUST KEEP DOING AS THEY PLEASE...AS I HAVE SAID IN THE PAST THE UN BLDG SHOULD B TURNED INTO A CONDO..AND THE INMATES SHOULD B SENT HOME...

Dina - Jerusalem, December 26, 2012 12:13 PM

Electricity to Gaza Strip

By the way, Israel DOES supply electricty to Gaza, even during the war they were idiotic enough to continue doing so. And do the Arabs pay? No. They owe the electric company millions and Israel continues to supply them.

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