JEWLARIOUS SATIRE: In an attempt to deal with the twin humanitarian catastrophes unfolding in China and Burma, the United Nations quickly convened to condemn Israel. The criticism was harsh and denounced the Jewish State for "its genocidal policy of imposing its will on Mother Nature". The draft resolution that is expected to be vetoed by the United States and Micronesia, is identical to one unanimously passed 24 hours earlier by The Arab League (no relation to the Justice League of superheroes).

The "must-see" emergency session, held at the request of a Palestinian Human Rights Judge who isn't really a judge, but rather, plays one on AL JAZEERA, charged that Israeli scientists were using excessive and disproportionate meteorological force, first in Gaza and now in China/Burma. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon fresh from completing his own Mid-East "Fault-Finding Mission," was effusive in his appreciation for the flexibility" shown to assemble and censure Israel unnecessarily, "and on such short notice."

Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon was effusive in his appreciation over the censure of Israel, "and on such short notice."

Allegations of Weather Manipulation involving cyclones, earthquakes and time-travel are taken very seriously at the UN, especially when they are directed against Israel.

At his own press conference shortly following, the Israeli Ambassador (who once again was not informed of any UN meeting) took exception with charges of environmental war crimes. "If the UN adopts this resolution, which by the way has absolutely nothing to do with China or Burma, every Israeli who carries an umbrella will now be viewed as an 'Obstacle to Peace'. I submit that anything Israel does on any given day, can now be defined as a 'provocation'." At that moment, the Libyan Ambassador quickly rose to second the motion, before realizing that he was at a press conference and not a formal vote.

In Washington, US President George W. Bush reaffirmed America's commitment to stand alongside Israel and veto the anti-Israel resolution. He also offered to table his own resolution where the word Junta would be spelled with an 'H' instead of a 'J' "so you don't sound like an idiot mispronouncing it until someone finally corrects you".

The UN is now seriously considering this motion as well.