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UN on China and Burmese Crises: Israel's Fault

UN on China and Burmese Crises: Israel's Fault

World body passes resolution blaming Israel…again.

by

JEWLARIOUS SATIRE: In an attempt to deal with the twin humanitarian catastrophes unfolding in China and Burma, the United Nations quickly convened to condemn Israel. The criticism was harsh and denounced the Jewish State for "its genocidal policy of imposing its will on Mother Nature". The draft resolution that is expected to be vetoed by the United States and Micronesia, is identical to one unanimously passed 24 hours earlier by The Arab League (no relation to the Justice League of superheroes).

The "must-see" emergency session, held at the request of a Palestinian Human Rights Judge who isn't really a judge, but rather, plays one on AL JAZEERA, charged that Israeli scientists were using excessive and disproportionate meteorological force, first in Gaza and now in China/Burma. Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon fresh from completing his own Mid-East "Fault-Finding Mission," was effusive in his appreciation for the flexibility" shown to assemble and censure Israel unnecessarily, "and on such short notice."

Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon was effusive in his appreciation over the censure of Israel, "and on such short notice."

Allegations of Weather Manipulation involving cyclones, earthquakes and time-travel are taken very seriously at the UN, especially when they are directed against Israel.

At his own press conference shortly following, the Israeli Ambassador (who once again was not informed of any UN meeting) took exception with charges of environmental war crimes. "If the UN adopts this resolution, which by the way has absolutely nothing to do with China or Burma, every Israeli who carries an umbrella will now be viewed as an 'Obstacle to Peace'. I submit that anything Israel does on any given day, can now be defined as a 'provocation'." At that moment, the Libyan Ambassador quickly rose to second the motion, before realizing that he was at a press conference and not a formal vote.

In Washington, US President George W. Bush reaffirmed America's commitment to stand alongside Israel and veto the anti-Israel resolution. He also offered to table his own resolution where the word Junta would be spelled with an 'H' instead of a 'J' "so you don't sound like an idiot mispronouncing it until someone finally corrects you".

The UN is now seriously considering this motion as well.

Published: May 31, 2008


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Visitor Comments: 9

(9) lewis Greenstein, June 14, 2008 9:00 AM

O J did it

Now it all cleared up I have been labored under a falce perception. I thought that O J Simpson was totally at fault for what is going on in burma
as well as global warming earth quacks and with out any dought sonomies. any one who can kill 2 people with out gettina drop of blood on him is truly capable of anything

(8) Joey, June 8, 2008 11:48 AM

So it IS pronounced "hunta"...

God bless.

(7) feiv, June 6, 2008 12:46 PM

not necessary

really not necessary to create farce here.

simply quote almost any actual statement from the un regarding Israel, laughable, farcical, ironic all at the same time
more absurd than any farce you could create

(6) Anonymous, June 5, 2008 5:48 PM

Very Funny

Great Article

(5) Anonymous, June 5, 2008 5:45 PM

Way to Funny!

I''d love to see this author as a UN press
secretary.

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