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"Dig... if you live in New York or any other big city you are Jewish. It doesn't matter if you are Catholic. If you live in New York you are Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish." – Lenny Bruce
Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish
Lenny Bruce started it, and David Kamp in his 1999 hysterical GQ article continued it, but face it, there are some things that "feel" Jewish – Jewish or not, while other things "feel" Goyish – even if they're Jewish. Why? Our theory is, that it has something to do with The Hamish Factor (HF), but we're not sure. So, to test our theory Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish. And by all means, feel free to add to it!
| JEWISH | VS. | GOYISH |
| Landscaping is Jewish | Gardening is Goyish |
| Bittersweet chocolate is Jewish | White chocolate is Goyish |
| The Simpsons are Jewish | King of the Hill is Goyish |
| Allergies are Jewish | Colds are Goyish |
| Monk and Columbo are Jewish | Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O) and Joe Friday (Dragnet) are Goyish |
| Cucumbers are Jewish | Cucumber sandwiches are Goyish |
| Deal or No Deal is Jewish | The Price is Right is Goyish |
| Rachael Ray is Jewish | Martha Stewart is Goyish |
| Google is Jewish | Ask Jeeves is Goyish |
| Buffet is Jewish | Tapas is Goyish |
| Resorts are Jewish | Country clubs are Goyish |
| Ray Barone is Jewish | Doug Heffernan is Goyish |
| Heinz is Jewish | Hunts is Goyish |
| Golden Girls is Jewish | Desperate Housewives is Goyish |
| Diet Coke is Jewish | Diet Kool-Aid is Goyish |
| Rice pudding with raisons is Jewish | Jell-O with cling peaches hanging is Goyish |
| Mork is Jewish | Mindy is Goyish |
| Entemann's is Jewish | SnackWells is Goyish |
| Motorboats are Jewish | Sailboats are Goyish |
| Bloomingdale's is Jewish | Macy's is Goyish |
| Superman is Jewish | Lois Lane is Goyish |
| Seltzer is Jewish | Club soda is Goyish |
| Law and Order is Jewish | CSI is Goyish |
| Weight loss camps are Jewish | Wilderness camps are Goyish |
| Your Uncle in the Jewelry District is Jewish | Tiffany's is Goyish |
| The Tony Awards are Jewish | The Country Music Awards are Goyish |
| The Pillsbury Doughboy is Jewish | Mr. Clean is Goyish |
| Colin Powell is Jewish | Condoleezza Rice is Goyish |
| The Catskill Mountains are Jewish | Mountain climbing is Goyish |
| Peas are Jewish | Black-eyed Peas are Goyish |
| Capris are Jewish | Diesels are Goyish |
| Cinderella is Jewish | Snow White is Goyish |
| E-Bay is Jewish | The Home Shopping Network is Goyish |
| Survivor is Jewish | American Idol is Goyish |
Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother" and the award-winning "A Little Joy, A Little Oy" 2008 calendar. Her 2009 calendar can be pre-ordered on Amazon.
_(english).jpg "Goyish Vs. Jewish, Part 3")
_(english).jpg "Goyish Vs. Jewish, Part 2")
