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Jewish Vs. Goyish

Jewish Vs. Goyish

Some things just "feel" Jewish, while others don't.


"Dig... if you live in New York or any other big city you are Jewish. It doesn't matter if you are Catholic. If you live in New York you are Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish." – Lenny Bruce

Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish

Lenny Bruce started it, and David Kamp in his 1999 hysterical GQ article continued it, but face it, there are some things that "feel" Jewish – Jewish or not, while other things "feel" Goyish – even if they're Jewish. Why? Our theory is, that it has something to do with The Hamish Factor (HF), but we're not sure. So, to test our theory Jewlarious has developed this hendy-dendy "Hemishing test" to see if you can spot Jewish vs. Goyish. And by all means, feel free to add to it!


Landscaping is JewishGardening is Goyish
Bittersweet chocolate is JewishWhite chocolate is Goyish
The Simpsons are JewishKing of the Hill is Goyish
Allergies are JewishColds are Goyish
Monk and Columbo are Jewish Steve McGarrett (Hawaii Five-O)
and Joe Friday (Dragnet) are Goyish
Cucumbers are JewishCucumber sandwiches are Goyish
Deal or No Deal is JewishThe Price is Right is Goyish
Rachael Ray is JewishMartha Stewart is Goyish
Google is JewishAsk Jeeves is Goyish
Buffet is JewishTapas is Goyish
Resorts are JewishCountry clubs are Goyish
Ray Barone is JewishDoug Heffernan is Goyish
Heinz is JewishHunts is Goyish
Golden Girls is JewishDesperate Housewives is Goyish
Diet Coke is JewishDiet Kool-Aid is Goyish
Rice pudding with raisons is Jewish Jell-O with cling peaches hanging is Goyish
Mork is JewishMindy is Goyish
Entemann's is JewishSnackWells is Goyish
Motorboats are JewishSailboats are Goyish
Bloomingdale's is JewishMacy's is Goyish
Superman is JewishLois Lane is Goyish
Seltzer is JewishClub soda is Goyish
Law and Order is JewishCSI is Goyish
Weight loss camps are JewishWilderness camps are Goyish
Your Uncle in the Jewelry District is JewishTiffany's is Goyish
The Tony Awards are JewishThe Country Music Awards are Goyish
The Pillsbury Doughboy is JewishMr. Clean is Goyish
Colin Powell is JewishCondoleezza Rice is Goyish
The Catskill Mountains are JewishMountain climbing is Goyish
Peas are JewishBlack-eyed Peas are Goyish
Capris are JewishDiesels are Goyish
Cinderella is JewishSnow White is Goyish
E-Bay is JewishThe Home Shopping Network is Goyish
Survivor is JewishAmerican Idol is Goyish

Marnie Winston-Macauley is the author of Yiddishe Mamas: The Truth About the Jewish Mother" and the award-winning "A Little Joy, A Little Oy" 2008 calendar. Her 2009 calendar can be pre-ordered on Amazon.

June 6, 2008

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Visitor Comments: 38

(38) Mike, January 12, 2018 1:37 AM

Motorboats are Jewish? Gardening is Goyish? I think the author of this article has some outdated ideas. Oh and Survivor is definitely not Jewish. Jews don't run around half naked in the woods, eating bugs and using the bushes as a bathroom. Jews stay in hotels with pools and buffets.

(37) Anonymous, August 12, 2014 9:38 PM

Jewish Vs. Goyish

No wonder I often get asked if I am Jewish.

(36) Will, February 26, 2013 4:01 PM

Monk is a Jewish Arab?

Remember, Monk is played by an Arab actor. So Tony Shalhoub is Jewish?

(35) Paul, July 26, 2012 2:34 AM

a few more for you...

Authenticity is Jewish. Faking authenticity, or awkwardly embracing it, is Goyish. Parody is Jewish. Ridicule is Goyish. A good Jew is learned. A good Goy is trained. The details are Jewish. The big picture is Goyish. Masculine traits in women are Goyish. Feminine traits in men are Jewish. Theory is Jewish. Practice is Goyish, law and medicine excepted. The present is Goyish. The future is Jewish. The past is as Jewish as anything can be.

(34) Paul, July 26, 2012 2:11 AM

The unexamined life is Goyish. The examined life is Jewish. Communication is Jewish. Miscommunication is Goyish, but when embraced (as in the work of Neil Simon), it becomes Jewish. Self-satisfaction is Jewish if it's a coping strategy, but Goyish if it's a way of life. Coping is Jewish. Sucking it up is Goyish.

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