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Bishop Williams: I'm Sorry...Kind of

Bishop Williams: I'm Sorry...Kind of

Jewlarious has got an advanced copy of Richard Williams "apology." You are going to want to read this.


With the breaking story that Pope Benedict would be reinstating excommunicated Bishop Richard Williamson, an avowed holocaust denier, Jewlarious's crack investigative team (four men in chicken suits driving around in a 1961Chevelle) flew to the Vatican to dig deeper. Shortly after their arrival, Pope Benedict decreed that in order to rejoin the church, Bishop Williamson would need to publicly disavow statements including those he made last month to a Swedish newspaper: "There was not one Jew killed by the gas chambers." Jewlarious' investigative team has been patiently waiting for his apology and was fortunate to receive an advance copy of it, should he ever choose to read it:

"Dear Jews: I want to make it clear that I had always been planning to make this statement on this day and that it is completely coincidental that I am making it now that I am being reinstated as a Bishop, after a forty year exile. I have now reconsidered (note to self: hold up the rabbit ears when I say ‘reconsidered') my views and I must say that if the Bishop job is still open, I am really sorry and was completely wrong, but if it was filled, then I still believe that Jews have been fabricating all aspects of the holocaust.

If the Bishop job is still open, I'm really sorry, but if it was filled, I still believe the Jews have fabricated the holocaust.

Furthermore, I categorically deny any accusations that I have tinkered with my Facebook page as a public relations ploy. My Facebook status has always been, "Shalom means hello, goodbye AND peace? How cool is that?!" and I frequently rotate my profile picture between a hilarious picture of Mel Gibson on the set of the "Passion" and one of my favorite Jewesses, that delightful Deborah Messing. (May want to emphatically add: ‘You should have seen Messing in "the Wedding Date"! Her parents have so much naches!'). I have been chatting with my good friend, convicted holocaust denier Ernst Zundel, and he and I both wonder if Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg is behind these allegations. (See how the crowd is reacting, may want to offer a compliment: ‘By the way, congrats on Zuckerberg – way to consolidate your control of the media, Jews!')

I have started my research into the issues and I must admit that I initially found myself confused as to how the same people who are powerful enough to control the world's banks suffered such a great tragedy. Now, I realize the cabal of Jewish bankers that lives underground and controls the global money are simply too busy manipulating stock markets and creating recessions for sport. Also, as part of my research, I recently decided to speak with Pope Benedict, who shared a few stories with me about his time in the Hitler Youth. If the Pope himself was a member of Hitler Youth, who am I to deny the holocaust? (For emphasis add the following line and maybe do your Seinfeld impersonation: "I mean, he's the pope! The pope!") Finally, I must admit that I am recanting to appease the Jews who are still – and I want to emphasize that I know it is not all of you so that no one accuses me of being anti-Semitic--- drinking Christian blood on Passover. Sorry, I have a nephew to worry about.

If the Pope himself was a member of Hitler Youth, who am I to deny the holocaust?

Anyway, I want to apologize to all of those that I have hurt, especially the many excommunicated Bishops out there, who will now be under closer scrutiny. To all of my fans, who stuck through me during the last forty years, I want to say, I am deeply sorry for my old views that the holocaust was a hoax or my new views that it is not a hoax, depending on what is pragmatic for me at this time or how you feel at this time."


February 14, 2009

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Visitor Comments: 21

(21) ian Senior, February 21, 2009 9:24 AM

Dear Susan I can hardly beleive the absurd comment of 17/2/2009. Pope John Paul 11 cherished the prized association with his life long Jewish "best" friend. It is in the pontificate of this man that the Jewish State Israel was given Vatican recognition. His pontificate promoted benevolent relations between all peoples but especially Jews and Christians. There is ABSOLUTELY NO evidence or even indication that his manufactured Cyanide was used to kill anyone, Jew or otherwise. Cyanide, let me inform you has legitimate uses as well. Kindly limit your comments to the realities that can prevent hatred and murder rather than foster anti-semitism

(20) 1an Senior, February 20, 2009 10:55 AM

a Real Holocaust

Anyone who expects to see a long line of people queing up to enter a gas chamber, during the very REAL Nazi holocaust, is as naive as a customer buying a Chevy displayed in a showroom with every conceivable luxury and attached feature, representing the one that he has bought at less than half the package cost. He may, as many naive are, be quite dissapointed when the reality of his delivery destroys the expectations of his imagination. Not all of the 6 million Jews who perished in the Holocaust, did so in gas-chambers: but 6 million did perish. Such is documentarily, statistically and realistically illustrated by the many movie clips and records of the period that we have been able to wittness. In any salesmans showcase, the very best model has to be disPlayed.It promotes sales. When attempting to prevent anti semetic genocide, the very worst means of murderous execution must also be displayed.It shows people how attrocious murder is. We may someday find out that the percentage of Jews murdered via gas chamber was very small. Unfortunately and tragically, we will never find out that the figure 6 million was incorrect. Gassing is one of many, many ways of killing real live human beings. For those who might be tempted to deny the Holocaust,remember that people die by bullet wounds,starvation, lethal injections, hanging, stabbing, butchering, freezing, drowning, burning, poisoning and several henious ways other than gassing

(19) Anonymous, February 20, 2009 9:33 AM

This man's arrogance is an insult to all men.

I would like to know if the Pope is seriouysly considering reinstating this creature. The man is a buffoon and a disgrace to mankind. God will forgive him, and this a good thing, for I cannot see anyone on this earth forgiving him.

(18) Allan, February 18, 2009 5:19 AM

I agree

#5 Esther....I as Jew also find the this article to be offensive, surely not a subject to make light of.

(17) Stan, February 17, 2009 8:19 PM

A waste of time

This so called man of G-D should bury his head and not come up for air. Why should we waste our time and comments on a schmuck like that. The POPE should know better.

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