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Blogowitz #5

Blogowitz #5

Kosher MacDonald's, a humus war, a bicycle menorah. What more could you ask for in a blog?

by

A Jewish Tattoo?!

  Ever wonder why someone born and raised in Middle America would tattoo Chinese letters on his body? Ever wonder why someone would tattoo anything at all on his body? Well University of Maryland wide receiver Adrian Cannon has the people at Jewlarious asking some more tattoo related questions: Why would an African American football player, the son of Julious and Shirla Cannon, have tattoos on his arms bearing large Hebrew letters: his right arm reads 'emunah' (faith) and his left arm reads 'mishpacha' (family). Maybe he's from one of the lost tribes of Israel? The tribe of touchdown? Or maybe he just enjoys a nice piece of brisket.

 

Why would an African American football player have large tattoos on his arms bearing Hebrew letters?

Humoring us with Humus

Do Jews and Arabs really have to fight about everything? Listen, some things you have to fight about: terrorism, Muslim fundamentalism, the Arab refusal to accept the Jewish state...but humus? In 2008, Israel claimed the Guinness record for the largest batch of humus ever made at 500 kg. But Lebanon is fighting back, as they have applied to the European Union to designate humus as distinctly Lebanese (just like Cognac is from a specific French region). They are also trying to reclaim the world record. At this point, I think someone should call Obama and tell him it's over. Barack, call George Mitchell and the boys and tell them that it's time to come home. We all know the "peace process" is going nowhere but no one has the courage to tell Obama the truth? Who is going to tell the Emperor that he's not wearing any clothes? Well, there's one guy...Itzik from Ta'am Tov who sells the best humus in Jerusalem. He will say anything to anyone. Itzik, you wanna place the call?

Kosher McDonald's?

Do you keep kosher? Do you travel? Do you want to eat more than canned tuna and dried fruit when you're on the road? Well Dani Klein from Yeah That's Kosher is here to help. He has reviewed a bunch of kosher restaurants for Jewish Travel TV including a kosher Subway in Los Angeles, and yes, a kosher McDonald's in Buenos Aires. So what's different at a kosher McDonald's? Well, the burgers are fried, not grilled, and on the menu instead of a Big Mac, they have a "Triple Mac" – apparently the two artery clogging patties that the gentiles enjoy was not enough for us. Why, Jewish people, must we make the ethnic jokes so easy?

Pfizer Fun

Apparently, drug giant Pfizer is paying $60 million to an Israeli company to license a drug that will combat Guacher's Disease which is prevalent among Ashkenazi Jews. Maybe Pfizer can combat another disease prevent among Ashkenazim called "I-won't-step-foot-in-your-shul-itis."

pin the Dreidel at Spinagogue

Finally the news you've been waiting for. Eric Pavony has started the first "professional" dreidel league called "Major League Dreidel." On December 12th, he's opening his "spinagogue" at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg for an evening of dreidel competition. Listen, we at Jewlarious love a good game of dreidel, but to call yourselves the first professional league?! Come on! Ever heard of the World Dreidel Tour, Jewlarious' very own dreidel venture? We sure do. And if you recall, we get offended very easily when it comes to our Driedel Tour. Need reminding? YouTube pulled our video after an allegation of copyright infringement from the World Poker Tour. But we fought back! We took our case to a Higher Authority and we won! So be careful Major League Dreidel...we may be coming for you next. Menoracycle

In Chanukah gift news, it looks like Target is selling a "Bicycle Menorah" or as we prefer to call it a "Menoracycle." So how does this bicycle menorah work anyway? As long as you are riding, the menorah's flames continue to burn? If so, maybe there's something to it. Many parents are having trouble getting their kids to exercise, so maybe this will be a good tool. You tell little Stevie to go on an hour bike ride and instead it lasts for eight hours!

Chanukah in Santa Monica

Finally, to get you in the Chanukah spirit, we are leaving you with Tom Lehrer's "Hanukah in Santa Monica." For you parents who have a hard time convincing your children how special our winter holiday is, now you have another great reason: it rhymes with a beautiful city. Do their holidays rhyme? Where can you spend Christmas? Not in Santa Monica that's for sure. Where can you spend Ash Wednesday? Palm Sunday? Not Santa Monica. But as Lehrer points out in his song there are plenty other Jewish holidays that rhyme with American cities. You can spend Shavuos in St. Louis. Or as we will add, Passover, in Andover. Feel free to add your favourite holiday/city rhyme below. And have a Happy Chanukah...even if you're not in Santa Monica!

Published: December 5, 2009


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Visitor Comments: 2

(2) nina, December 16, 2009 8:34 AM

Kosher McD's

In Israel, too, of course! Most of them are. Also BK and Burger Ranch, a local chain.

(1) Louis, December 9, 2009 4:23 PM

Kosher McDonalds???

A kosher Mickey D's? Wow, I thinks that's a great idea. We need some of those up here in America so that I won't have to drive down to Argentina for a quick lunch. Seriously though, I think it's a great idea. May be a little more expensive than the regular McDonald's though. That'd be okay though unless it'd be too expensive. Good idea though.

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