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The Shadchan Stories

The Shadchan Stories

Shadchan stories, facts, foibles, and of course … jokes.

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Let it Rain!

Let it Rain!

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We pray for rain in Israel where nobody owns a coat.

Fundraising Fun

Fundraising Fun

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A how-not-to guide to raise money for your shul.

How to Help Jewish Singles

How to Help Jewish Singles

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I am single, and no I am not looking for a “shidduch”.

Jewish Flu Remedies

Jewish Flu Remedies

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With flu season upon us, check out these tried (and some not true) Jewish flu remedies.

Oy-Vey Olympics

Oy-Vey Olympics

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How to make the Olympics more Jewish.

Vilde Chaya

Vilde Chaya

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When your precious child turns out to be a “vilda chaya” – Yiddish for a “wild animal.”

Lebanon Remakes All Spielberg Movies

Lebanon Remakes All Spielberg Movies

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Saving Private Ryan now becomes Killing Private Ryan

All Hail the Mohel

All Hail the Mohel

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Mohel are vastly underappreciated. In a business where there is no margin for error, they should be admired and adored.

If You Boycott Israel, Boycott This

If You Boycott Israel, Boycott This

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If you boycott Israel just be ready to go all the way. Turn off Waze and go back to using Mapquest.

The Ins and Outs of Jewish Fundraisers

The Ins and Outs of Jewish Fundraisers

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From Chinese Auctions to ad journals.

A Jewish Psychic’s Predictions for 2018

A Jewish Psychic’s Predictions for 2018

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Barbra Streisand will finally share her own traumatic alien abduction story.

Jewish New Year vs. Secular New Year

Jewish New Year vs. Secular New Year

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Instead of the ball drop in Time’s Square, we let the matzah balls drop into our soup.

Turning Christmas Movies into Chanukah Movies

Turning Christmas Movies into Chanukah Movies

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From “It’s a Wonderful Life” to It’s a Verklempt Life.

How to Light Your Menorah

How to Light Your Menorah

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Here are my tips for how to light your menorah in ways that your neighbors will never forget.

8 People in Every Shul

8 People in Every Shul

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In honor of the 8 days of Chanukah, here are 8 people in every shul. Even yours.

Chanukabulary

Chanukabulary

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Spellukah, noun. A democratic way to settle any dispute over how you should write the word ‘Chanukah.’

Synagogue Stadium Seating

Synagogue Stadium Seating

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Would the synagogue experience be enhanced by stadium seating?

My Jewish Holiday Cookie Exchange Experiment

My Jewish Holiday Cookie Exchange Experiment

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I tried to organize a holiday cookie exchange at my shul. This is what happened.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest: The Legend of a Jewish Athlete

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest: The Legend of a Jewish Athlete

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When I heard about Nathan’s contest, I knew I had found my sport.

Bad Shul Awards

Bad Shul Awards

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Should synagogues hand out awards like the "Better Late Than Never" Award to curb bad behavior?

Rabbi Words I Don’t Understand

Rabbi Words I Don’t Understand

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”The synagogue needs you for a quorum.” What’s a quorum? I thought I was being punished.

New Yinglish Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

New Yinglish Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

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Creative mashing of two words.

Pelting the Bar Mitzvah Boy

Pelting the Bar Mitzvah Boy

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Why do we celebrate a Bar Mitzvah by slinging sweets at a defenseless child?

How to Tell if Your Dog is Jewish

How to Tell if Your Dog is Jewish

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Do you have a Shlomo or a Fido?

How to Save Money in Israel

How to Save Money in Israel

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Eat in the supermarket because apparently eating there is free.

Absurd Shul Announcements

Absurd Shul Announcements

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Let’s face it, shul announcements need some work.

Do Jews Have Godparents?

Do Jews Have Godparents?

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How do two individuals mutually settle on who should supersede them as parents upon their death?

Jewish Lords of the Dance

Jewish Lords of the Dance

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The ways religious Jews like to dance.

NORDISH VS. JEWISH

NORDISH VS. JEWISH

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Two polar opposite cultures: They keep better in ice. We keep better in Miami.

New Jewish Robots

New Jewish Robots

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Are you certain that your rabbi, cantor, or deli owner is not a robot? After reading this, you may have a few doubts.

Thou Shalt Give Thy Children Candy

Thou Shalt Give Thy Children Candy

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For me the holiday of Sukkot brings up memories of candy.

New Sukkot Vocabulary

New Sukkot Vocabulary

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Key words you never knew you needed.

Apology APPccepted

Apology APPccepted

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Introducing the pre-Yom Kippur APP!

New Symbolic Foods for Rosh Hashanah

New Symbolic Foods for Rosh Hashanah

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Creative blessings and curses using fruits and vegetables.

Blessed Blasts

Blessed Blasts

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A shofar blower, in more ways than one, must be willing to take the bull by the horns.

Game of Moans

Game of Moans

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An advance preview of the Jewish version of “Game of Thrones.”

What’s Expected of Parents by Jewish Day Schools

What’s Expected of Parents by Jewish Day Schools

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It’s homework time and as a parent of kids in Jewish schools that means one thing: start studying.

My Car’s Crazy Month

My Car’s Crazy Month

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In Israel where miracles happen daily, there’s no such thing as a non-believer.

Stroller Derby

Stroller Derby

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If your child can scale Masada, needs a shave or has a driver’s license, then it’s time to get rid of the stroller!

A Jewish Twilight Zone

A Jewish Twilight Zone

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A Jewish event planner hankers for Chanukah to last an entire year so she can throw lots of festive parties. And it does…

Fighting Fair: Jews vs. Non-Jews

Fighting Fair: Jews vs. Non-Jews

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Non-Jews wait for the right time to argue. Jews must get everything off their chests immediately!

Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

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For those committed to the Jewish faith, mini golf is the perfect date. We are good at it!

Remembering the Borscht Belt

Remembering the Borscht Belt

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An affectionate look back at Borscht Belt Jewish humor in the Catskills.

Cornucopia

Cornucopia

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As a British Podiatrist in Israel, every day that I get to deal with Israeli corns is an adventure.

Who Wants To Be a Meshuganah?

Who Wants To Be a Meshuganah?

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And other Jewish TV game/reality shows…

Out of Towners

Out of Towners

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To New Yorkers, anyone from outside the Tri-State area is an “Out of Towner.” And we find your manners adorably considerate.

Jewish Summer Camp: Stuff No Parent Wants to Hear

Jewish Summer Camp: Stuff No Parent Wants to Hear

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”Sorry sport, but mom and dad are sick of having you at home.”

Shul Superheroes

Shul Superheroes

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Beware of Yichus Man whose superpowers belong to his great-grandfather who he talks about all of the time.

10 Reasons Why Israelis Love India

10 Reasons Why Israelis Love India

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Suddenly a kippah becomes barely noticeable when standing next to a Turban-wearing Sikh.