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Chanukabulary

Chanukabulary

Spellukah, noun. A democratic way to settle any dispute over how you should write the word ‘Chanukah.’

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Synagogue Stadium Seating

Synagogue Stadium Seating

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Would the synagogue experience be enhanced by stadium seating?

My Jewish Holiday Cookie Exchange Experiment

My Jewish Holiday Cookie Exchange Experiment

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I tried to organize a holiday cookie exchange at my shul. This is what happened.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest: The Legend of a Jewish Athlete

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest: The Legend of a Jewish Athlete

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When I heard about Nathan’s contest, I knew I had found my sport.

Bad Shul Awards

Bad Shul Awards

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Should synagogues hand out awards like the "Better Late Than Never" Award to curb bad behavior?

Rabbi Words I Don’t Understand

Rabbi Words I Don’t Understand

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”The synagogue needs you for a quorum.” What’s a quorum? I thought I was being punished.

New Yinglish Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

New Yinglish Words You Didn’t Know You Needed

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Creative mashing of two words.

Pelting the Bar Mitzvah Boy

Pelting the Bar Mitzvah Boy

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Why do we celebrate a Bar Mitzvah by slinging sweets at a defenseless child?

How to Tell if Your Dog is Jewish

How to Tell if Your Dog is Jewish

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Do you have a Shlomo or a Fido?

How to Save Money in Israel

How to Save Money in Israel

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Eat in the supermarket because apparently eating there is free.

Absurd Shul Announcements

Absurd Shul Announcements

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Let’s face it, shul announcements need some work.

Do Jews Have Godparents?

Do Jews Have Godparents?

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How do two individuals mutually settle on who should supersede them as parents upon their death?

Jewish Lords of the Dance

Jewish Lords of the Dance

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The ways religious Jews like to dance.

NORDISH VS. JEWISH

NORDISH VS. JEWISH

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Two polar opposite cultures: They keep better in ice. We keep better in Miami.

New Jewish Robots

New Jewish Robots

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Are you certain that your rabbi, cantor, or deli owner is not a robot? After reading this, you may have a few doubts.

Thou Shalt Give Thy Children Candy

Thou Shalt Give Thy Children Candy

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For me the holiday of Sukkot brings up memories of candy.

New Sukkot Vocabulary

New Sukkot Vocabulary

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Key words you never knew you needed.

Apology APPccepted

Apology APPccepted

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Introducing the pre-Yom Kippur APP!

New Symbolic Foods for Rosh Hashanah

New Symbolic Foods for Rosh Hashanah

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Creative blessings and curses using fruits and vegetables.

Blessed Blasts

Blessed Blasts

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A shofar blower, in more ways than one, must be willing to take the bull by the horns.

Game of Moans

Game of Moans

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An advance preview of the Jewish version of “Game of Thrones.”

What’s Expected of Parents by Jewish Day Schools

What’s Expected of Parents by Jewish Day Schools

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It’s homework time and as a parent of kids in Jewish schools that means one thing: start studying.

My Car’s Crazy Month

My Car’s Crazy Month

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In Israel where miracles happen daily, there’s no such thing as a non-believer.

Stroller Derby

Stroller Derby

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If your child can scale Masada, needs a shave or has a driver’s license, then it’s time to get rid of the stroller!

A Jewish Twilight Zone

A Jewish Twilight Zone

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A Jewish event planner hankers for Chanukah to last an entire year so she can throw lots of festive parties. And it does…

Fighting Fair: Jews vs. Non-Jews

Fighting Fair: Jews vs. Non-Jews

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Non-Jews wait for the right time to argue. Jews must get everything off their chests immediately!

Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

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For those committed to the Jewish faith, mini golf is the perfect date. We are good at it!

Remembering the Borscht Belt

Remembering the Borscht Belt

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An affectionate look back at Borscht Belt Jewish humor in the Catskills.

Cornucopia

Cornucopia

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As a British Podiatrist in Israel, every day that I get to deal with Israeli corns is an adventure.

Who Wants To Be a Meshuganah?

Who Wants To Be a Meshuganah?

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And other Jewish TV game/reality shows…

Out of Towners

Out of Towners

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To New Yorkers, anyone from outside the Tri-State area is an “Out of Towner.” And we find your manners adorably considerate.

Jewish Summer Camp: Stuff No Parent Wants to Hear

Jewish Summer Camp: Stuff No Parent Wants to Hear

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”Sorry sport, but mom and dad are sick of having you at home.”

Shul Superheroes

Shul Superheroes

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Beware of Yichus Man whose superpowers belong to his great-grandfather who he talks about all of the time.

10 Reasons Why Israelis Love India

10 Reasons Why Israelis Love India

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Suddenly a kippah becomes barely noticeable when standing next to a Turban-wearing Sikh.

Thankless Jewish Jobs

Thankless Jewish Jobs

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Let’s hear it for those who shield bar mitzvah boys from celebratory candy throwing.

Jewish Legal Dictionary: Jewish Vs. Not Jewish

Jewish Legal Dictionary: Jewish Vs. Not Jewish

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It’s time for We Jews to create our own legal system.

New Jewish Superheroes

New Jewish Superheroes

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Move over Wonder Woman, there are some new Jewish Superheroes in town.

The Jewish Alexa for the Jewish Smart House

The Jewish Alexa for the Jewish Smart House

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Introducing Aviva, the know-it-all maven more intelligent than all other digital personal assistants.

Bad Buffet Behavior

Bad Buffet Behavior

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The all-you-can-eat buffet is the only thing on this planet that serves more food than the average Jewish mother.

Jewish Wedding Seating for Dummies

Jewish Wedding Seating for Dummies

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You will recognize the Bride’s Girlfriend Table from the quantity of hi-pitched ‘wooohs’.

Next Year in Disneyland?

Next Year in Disneyland?

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Instead of Grand Master Yoda, you’ll see my nosy Grandmother Yente.

Shavuot Tips for Staying Up All Night

Shavuot Tips for Staying Up All Night

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Eating cheese blintzes, I can do. But staying up all night, past sunrise?

Good Mourning

Good Mourning

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Join me while I highlight the things you should absolutely not utter or attempt when making a shiva call.

Jewish Health Care Plans

Jewish Health Care Plans

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All HMOs serving Jewish patients will have the following slogan: ‘You should only have your health.”

UNESCO: No U.S. Connection to Washington, D.C. (& Other Resolutions)

UNESCO: No U.S. Connection to Washington, D.C. (& Other Resolutions)

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Any travel to or from Washington, D.C., will require passports and vaccination records.

Non-vitations

Non-vitations

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We’re not schlepping to Israel for the bar mitzvah of our neighbor’s son, so why are they sending us a fancy schmancy invitation?

The Jewish Boomer Driver’s Test

The Jewish Boomer Driver’s Test

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As a Jew, how would you answer the following questions?

Jewish Hackers? Their Mothers Would Plotz!

Jewish Hackers? Their Mothers Would Plotz!

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My email was hacked. If my hackers were Jewish, this is what probably went down.

Lag B’Omer in Israel

Lag B’Omer in Israel

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Join me on a tour of my neighborhood in Israel as I witness the local children light the local park on fire.

Aliyah and Kosher Food

Aliyah and Kosher Food

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The reason I moved to Israel is for kosher food.