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An Open Letter from Santa to Jewish Children

An Open Letter from Santa to Jewish Children

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Jewish children, I’ve been outsourced, and now I need your help.

How To Make Your Next Chanukah Better

How To Make Your Next Chanukah Better

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Eat oily food and enjoy the extra pounds. Heaviness shows religious commitment.

The 25 Weirdest Menorahs You’ve Ever Seen

The 25 Weirdest Menorahs You’ve Ever Seen

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Here are some menorahs that might turn a few heads – to the extent that you might cause traffic accidents.

Being a Zionist in Bologna

Being a Zionist in Bologna

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I live in Bologna Italy and yes I am a Zionist. My European neighbors are not my biggest fans.

Thanksgiving Exclusive: A Jewish Turkey Pleads for Its Life

Thanksgiving Exclusive: A Jewish Turkey Pleads for Its Life

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“What, you think there can only be Jewish humans?”

The Untold Story of Jews and the First Thanksgiving

The Untold Story of Jews and the First Thanksgiving

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Joachim Gaunse, the brilliant metallurgist, was the first Jew to set foot on English soil in North America.

Memories?

Memories?

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My memory is turning into a soft boiled egg.

Wanna Come for Shabbos?

Wanna Come for Shabbos?

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In my travels I’ve met many types of Jews who’ve invited me – or not invited me – for Shabbat. Let me introduce you to some of them.

10 Ways You Can Tell If Non-Jews Have Been Hanging Out with Jews

10 Ways You Can Tell If Non-Jews Have Been Hanging Out with Jews

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“Bitsy dahling! Whatever did you mean when you called Alistair a shmendrick while yachting?!”

Testing 1-2-3

Testing 1-2-3

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We teachers give you tests primarily because we hate you. There, I said it.

A Tight Fit

A Tight Fit

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“You might be happier in portly,” the suit salesman told me. What exactly does that mean?

Corridors and Catastrophes

Corridors and Catastrophes

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Taking my 4 young children to a British castle… probably not a good idea.

10 Headlines Using Anti-Israel Double Standards

10 Headlines Using Anti-Israel Double Standards

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Imagine reading this: September 11, 2001 – 18 Saudi Nationals Die in Tragic Plane Accidents.

The Identity Thief

The Identity Thief

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If someone steals my identity, this is what he’s going to find.

Bubbie’s Fairy Tales

Bubbie’s Fairy Tales

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My Bubbie’s take on Rapunzel.

It’s Not For You

It’s Not For You

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It’s tough, being a work-at-home husband.

Meet Apple’s Jewish Siri, Shira

Meet Apple’s Jewish Siri, Shira

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Apple is making an aggressive play for the Jewish cell phone market. Goodbye Siri, hello Shira.

Straight Trippin’

Straight Trippin’

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Some fun ideas to do with your family during Sukkot.

Secrets in the Shtetl

Secrets in the Shtetl

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Have you ever tried to keep a secret in a close-knit Jewish community? I tried, and it doesn’t work.

10 Ways Donald Trump Plans to Reach Out to Jewish Voters

10 Ways Donald Trump Plans to Reach Out to Jewish Voters

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Shul maintenance guy: you’re fired.

The Historical Jewish Connection to Hillary Clinton’s Email Fiasco

The Historical Jewish Connection to Hillary Clinton’s Email Fiasco

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Hillary isn’t the only one who has had problems with email. Check out these Jews who wish they’d destroyed their email servers.

What’s On Tap?

What’s On Tap?

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Bottled water companies are waging a war on tap water.

Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom to Her Grown Son

Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom to Her Grown Son

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If I could go through labor and a C-section to have you, you can drive me to Walgreen’s and explain why my mouse doesn’t work.

The Grass is Greener

The Grass is Greener

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The summer’s not over yet which means you still have time to perfect that lawn. Here are my tips.

10 Reasons Why the Iron Sheik is Against the Iran Nuclear Deal

10 Reasons Why the Iron Sheik is Against the Iran Nuclear Deal

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10. UN weapons inspectors miss more action than professional wresting referees.

Notes from the Dentist’s Chair

Notes from the Dentist’s Chair

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My dentist is like Vladimir Putin, but with less warmth. My teeth are his little KGB prisoners.

They Call It Superstition

They Call It Superstition

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Superstitious people are everywhere. Whatever you do, don’t give them the evil eye.

Glasses Half Broken

Glasses Half Broken

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Can someone please come up with a better alternative than letting kids wear glasses? They’re expensive, delicate and made out of glass!

10 Tips for Jewish Families to Get Along on Their Summer Vacations

10 Tips for Jewish Families to Get Along on Their Summer Vacations

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Going on a family vacation this summer? If you want your children to still love you when you return, read this.

You Call that Funny?

You Call that Funny?

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Jewlarious is looking for contributors. Here are my 10 tips. Whether you want them or not.

Orthodoxy at University

Orthodoxy at University

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From an Orthodox all-girls high school to a secular British University. In two words: culture shock.

“Hair” Apparent

“Hair” Apparent

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I’ve updated my author photo. Curls and all.

More Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

More Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

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You should get one of those Medic Alert thingies so you don’t lie on the floor screaming.

Meeting New People

Meeting New People

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I was never really good at meeting new people. After all, what’s the point?

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt II

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt II

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Jews feel guilty if we don’t complain; Gentiles feel guilty for making a fuss.

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt

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Believe it or not, Jews don’t have a monopoly on guilt.

Basket Case

Basket Case

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I’m terrible at sports, but my team always wins. They play their best to compensate for me.

It’s All Jew You Know

It’s All Jew You Know

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Famous historical figures’ relationships with the Jews.

Top Ten Reasons People Mistake David Letterman for a Jew

Top Ten Reasons People Mistake David Letterman for a Jew

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His last name ends with “man.” That's also why we think Superman is Jewish.

Dating Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

Dating Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

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Why won’t my son introduce me to his girlfriend? I’m sure she’ll love me unless I hate her first.

Selfies: Take a Look at Yourself

Selfies: Take a Look at Yourself

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Who needs 80 million pictures of themselves?

How to Host the Perfect Jewish Family Gathering

How to Host the Perfect Jewish Family Gathering

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Aunt Esther is coming. First step: freak out. Next step: get to work!

The Time My Family Got a Gerbil

The Time My Family Got a Gerbil

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My son, Daniel, came home with a gerbil the other day. These kids pick up the weirdest things in school.

10 Reasons Why the Nuclear Deal with Iran is a Bad Idea

10 Reasons Why the Nuclear Deal with Iran is a Bad Idea

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#2 – It will mean more airtime for CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.

One on One with Barbie

One on One with Barbie

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A sit down interview with the world famous doll who turned 56, and who, it may come as a surprise to many, is Jewish.

Chinese Decide to Eat Jewish Food on Their Holidays

Chinese Decide to Eat Jewish Food on Their Holidays

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After all of these years of Jews eating Chinese, Chinese decide to return the favor.

Mordechai’s Mailbag: Answers to your Passover Questions

Mordechai’s Mailbag: Answers to your Passover Questions

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Q: I’m cleaning out my kitchen, and I found two slices of frozen pizza. Should I split up the two slices among my 8 kids, or go to the store and buy MORE pizza so no one will feel left out?

The Real Reasons World Leaders Are Upset about Netanyahu’s Victory

The Real Reasons World Leaders Are Upset about Netanyahu’s Victory

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What do Angela Merkel, Ayatollah Khamenei, Vladamir Putin, Kim Jong-Un and Stephen Harper really think of Benjamin Netanyahu?

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom, Part 2

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom, Part 2

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My advice and witticisms on apparel and appearance.

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom

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From what I told my son about his new apartment to my cousin who wants to maximize an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.