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More Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

More Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

You should get one of those Medic Alert thingies so you don’t lie on the floor screaming.

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Meeting New People

Meeting New People

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I was never really good at meeting new people. After all, what’s the point?

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt II

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt II

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Jews feel guilty if we don’t complain; Gentiles feel guilty for making a fuss.

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt

Gentile Guilt Vs. Jewish Guilt

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Believe it or not, Jews don’t have a monopoly on guilt.

Basket Case

Basket Case

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I’m terrible at sports, but my team always wins. They play their best to compensate for me.

It’s All Jew You Know

It’s All Jew You Know

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Famous historical figures’ relationships with the Jews.

Top Ten Reasons People Mistake David Letterman for a Jew

Top Ten Reasons People Mistake David Letterman for a Jew

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His last name ends with “man.” That's also why we think Superman is Jewish.

Dating Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

Dating Advice from a Meshuggah Jewish Mom

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Why won’t my son introduce me to his girlfriend? I’m sure she’ll love me unless I hate her first.

Selfies: Take a Look at Yourself

Selfies: Take a Look at Yourself

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Who needs 80 million pictures of themselves?

How to Host the Perfect Jewish Family Gathering

How to Host the Perfect Jewish Family Gathering

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Aunt Esther is coming. First step: freak out. Next step: get to work!

The Time My Family Got a Gerbil

The Time My Family Got a Gerbil

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My son, Daniel, came home with a gerbil the other day. These kids pick up the weirdest things in school.

10 Reasons Why the Nuclear Deal with Iran is a Bad Idea

10 Reasons Why the Nuclear Deal with Iran is a Bad Idea

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#2 – It will mean more airtime for CNN’s Wolf Blitzer.

One on One with Barbie

One on One with Barbie

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A sit down interview with the world famous doll who turned 56, and who, it may come as a surprise to many, is Jewish.

Chinese Decide to Eat Jewish Food on Their Holidays

Chinese Decide to Eat Jewish Food on Their Holidays

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After all of these years of Jews eating Chinese, Chinese decide to return the favor.

Mordechai’s Mailbag: Answers to your Passover Questions

Mordechai’s Mailbag: Answers to your Passover Questions

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Q: I’m cleaning out my kitchen, and I found two slices of frozen pizza. Should I split up the two slices among my 8 kids, or go to the store and buy MORE pizza so no one will feel left out?

The Real Reasons World Leaders Are Upset about Netanyahu’s Victory

The Real Reasons World Leaders Are Upset about Netanyahu’s Victory

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What do Angela Merkel, Ayatollah Khamenei, Vladamir Putin, Kim Jong-Un and Stephen Harper really think of Benjamin Netanyahu?

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom, Part 2

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom, Part 2

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My advice and witticisms on apparel and appearance.

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom

Advice from a Meshuggah Mom

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From what I told my son about his new apartment to my cousin who wants to maximize an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet.

Speak Up

Speak Up

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I am afraid of public speaking, which doesn’t help my career as a part-time standup comedian.

The Delicious Deli Man

The Delicious Deli Man

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Are Jews really the worst customers in the world?

Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Replace Jon Stewart as the New Host of The Daily Show

Top 10 Reasons Why I Should Replace Jon Stewart as the New Host of The Daily Show

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Jon Stewart has won 19 Emmy Awards. I am ready to win 19 Emmy Awards, given the chance.

Purim Candy Field Guide

Purim Candy Field Guide

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Purim is the holy holiday of candy – allow me to prepare you.

ManSpeak Vs. WomanSpeak 2

ManSpeak Vs. WomanSpeak 2

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Men whatever you do, never tell your wife that her clothes look, or her food tastes “fine.”

ManSpeak Vs. WomanSpeak

ManSpeak Vs. WomanSpeak

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Men and women think we speak the same language. We don’t.

Everything I Need to Know About Parenting, I Learned at Jewish Summer Camp

Everything I Need to Know About Parenting, I Learned at Jewish Summer Camp

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For example: the art of the two minute shower!

Crash Course in Yiddish Texting, Part II

Crash Course in Yiddish Texting, Part II

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DMGK = Darf min gehn in kolledj or “for this I went to college”?!

Flu-Like Symptoms

Flu-Like Symptoms

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It’s flu-season and my kids are really starting to take advantage.

Crash Course in Yiddish Texting

Crash Course in Yiddish Texting

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Forget LOL” How about WAICL for “What am I, chopped liver”?

Type A Men and the Women Who Love Them

Type A Men and the Women Who Love Them

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Why is it that when men get sick, even the manliest among them morph into sissies?

Under the Knife

Under the Knife

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I’m deaf and going in for surgery for a cochlear implant. Send kosher Chinese – please!

Saudi Arabia’s New Torture Techniques

Saudi Arabia’s New Torture Techniques

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Jewlarious has obtained a leaked document of alternate torture methods under discussion by the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.

Back in Pain

Back in Pain

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I’ve got back pain so I guess that means mazal tov to me, I am old now.

Gefilte Tank: Part Two

Gefilte Tank: Part Two

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Suze Essenfeld bought into the Krankheiter – a thermometer that tells you when you are not sick.

Judaic Hall of Marketing Shame

Judaic Hall of Marketing Shame

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Least-successful Jewish celebrity-branded products like Paul Simon’s “I am a Sock.”

An Open letter to Kim Jung Un

An Open letter to Kim Jung Un

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Sony may be afraid of you, but Jewlarious is not.

The Differences Between Jewish and Non-Jewish New Year’s Resolutions

The Differences Between Jewish and Non-Jewish New Year’s Resolutions

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“Spend more time with family & friends.” Um… for 3500 Jews have been nailing this one.

If Christmas Songs were Written about Hanukkah

If Christmas Songs were Written about Hanukkah

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Many Christmas songs were written by Jews. If instead they wrote their songs for Hanukkah, this is what they’d look like.

Mordechai’s Chanukah Gift Guide

Mordechai’s Chanukah Gift Guide

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How about the Back-Scratch Shirt which comes with a grid on the back, like in battleship, so you can direct the scratcher to the specific itch with lightening precision.

Gefilte Tank

Gefilte Tank

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We Jews need our own “Shark Tank.” Meet “Gefilte Tank.”

8 Out of the Box Candidates for Israeli Prime Minister

8 Out of the Box Candidates for Israeli Prime Minister

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Prime Minister Sean Hannity?!

5 Things Jews Shouldn’t Do at the Office Holiday Party

5 Things Jews Shouldn’t Do at the Office Holiday Party

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If you can’t sing, tell jokes, don’t make the office party your debut.

The 3000 Year Old Jewish Woman, Part 3

The 3000 Year Old Jewish Woman, Part 3

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Meet Sylvia. She’s been around for 3000 years, the last 1200 of which with an enormous bunion. But does she complain? No.

5 Questions Not to Ask a Prospective Jewish Boss

5 Questions Not to Ask a Prospective Jewish Boss

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“Listen, if this interview is going on much longer, can we at least bring in a nosh?”

The Return of the Grown-Up Kids

The Return of the Grown-Up Kids

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What’s better: empty nest or full house? I’m conflicted.

Through the Roof

Through the Roof

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Today’s topic: how to save on home-heating costs.

Confessions of a Clutterphile

Confessions of a Clutterphile

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I thought of going on one of those “Hoarding” reality shows, except they’d make me throw out my stuff. And my stuff is important.

The Angst of Online Grocery Shopping

The Angst of Online Grocery Shopping

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Goodbye grocery store, hello newfound freedom!

Most Embarrassing Jewish Stories that Went Viral

Most Embarrassing Jewish Stories that Went Viral

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Did you hear about the kosher deli owner who was thinking about becoming a vegan? Let’s just say it wasn’t great for business.

Ten Differences Between the Klinghoffer Opera Protests and the Danish Cartoon Protests

Ten Differences Between the Klinghoffer Opera Protests and the Danish Cartoon Protests

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Klinghoffer protestors stopped by Zabar’s for rugelach 8 times in 3 hours.

Jewpers

Jewpers

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We Jews love to laugh at ourselves. So let’s do that with some “Jewpers” – or Bloopers involving Jews.