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An Arab League Observer Speaks

An Arab League Observer Speaks

An anonymous Arab League observer risks his life to Tweet from within Syria.

by

JEWLARIOUS SATIRE -- After one year of conflict and nearly 5000 murders of Syrian citizens by the Assad regime, finally, a week ago, the Arab League sprang into action and sent observers to Syria to… observe.

Well, it seems that the observing has gone incredibly well – since the observers arrived, they have observed more than 400 murders and have even observed 11 observers being attacked by the Syrian military.

We, at Jewlarious, have been observing the observers carefully and managed to track down the Twitter feed of one observer. You can follow his observations at @arableagobsrver where he seems to be tweeting regularly, despite the fact that Syria as a country has no wi-fi and only has one Commodore 64 computer, but the joystick is broken.

Here is a sample of this anonymous observer’s tweets…

Went on a stroll with Bashar Assad. No one was murdered. Everything looks awesome here.

ArabLeagueObserver
Went on a stroll with Bashar Assad. No one was murdered. Everything looks awesome here. Must report that back.

ArabLeagueObserver
Just observed a staring contest between Bashar and Ahmadinijad. Ahmadinijad blinked. Loser.

ArabLeagueObserver
In hotel. "Observing" episode of Perfect Strangers where Cousin Larry and Balki end up in the same sleeping bag. No deaths to report.

ArabLeagueObserver
Perfect strangers indeed! How will they get out of that sleeping bag? Hope Assad invades Meepos. Love to observe antics like these!

ArabLeagueObserver
Just observed an observer not observing a murder. How could he miss that? He is like a WWE ref.

ArabLeagueObserver
Anyone know a good place to observe things? I keep hearing Homs? Is that true? Anyone know how to get there?

ArabLeagueObserver
Too Jewish to request a bagel breakfast before tomorrow's observations? Want light meal, but worry that lamb kibbe will weigh me down.

ArabLeagueObserver
Practise CNN response: "“How can u criticize observers? R we observing? I just observed u asking me a question. I am now writing that question down....

ArabLeagueObserver
...Now, I am observing myself writing. Now, I am observing myself talking to you. That is a lot of observation. We need more observers."

ArabLeagueObserver
I wonder if the Syrian pavilion at Epcot is as violent as the real Syria.

ArabLeagueObserver
Just got tomorrow's schedule from the Syrian government -- waterskiing during the day, campfire, smores and ghost stories at night!

ArabLeagueObserver
Just observed a violation! Bashar ate sloppy Joes for lunch. That's 8 points! He's on weight watchers and just went over. Busted.

ArabLeagueObserver
Observing Assad's speech - two hours more and he wins a box of Havana's from the estate of Fidel Castro. Keep going Bashar!

ArabLeagueObserver
Bashar came2 fix my glasses. I said, "Bashar, you r an Ophthalmologist. You should be a male model with that stache." Still alive. Good sign re regime. Document!

ArabLeagueObserver
Rick Perry got less than 1% in NH? The rotting corpse of Rifat Assad cold have gotten at least 1% in NH!

ArabLeagueObserver
Something funny: all us observer guys, our favorite type of comedy - observational humor. What's the deal with that?

ArabLeagueObserver
Observed 14 killed in protest. Will report 2 Arab League. Wait, how is that diff from any member country? Don't kill protestors in Sudan, Yemen, Qatar?

ArabLeagueObserver
BBC reports observer (anwar malek) quit and called mission a "farce". How is that possible? He is observing stuff now. Send more observers!

ArabLeagueObserver
Just watching Al-JazeEspn at Damascus HoJo. Did Tebow really do that in OT? We r Tebows - everyone doubts r skill, but we keep observing

ArabLeagueObserver
I'm no expert on violent conflict - just an observer - but maybe they should have sent aircraft, instead of observers? Seemed to work in Libya.

Published: January 13, 2012


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Visitor Comments: 3

(3) Miriam, May 15, 2012 2:33 PM

Hysterical

brilliant

(2) Eli, January 18, 2012 4:05 AM

Really?

Are you not able to understand that the author is poking fun at the weak Arab League response to people dying? He is trying to goad the Arab League to action. Was Orwell laughing at the Russian citizens or trying to illuminate the government's stupidity?

(1) Anonymous, January 17, 2012 2:26 PM

Laughing?

Are we supposed to be laughing while our enemies are dying? I personally don't think poking fun while people are dying to be a particularly holy way to be. Seems to be there's a Torah story to back that up.

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