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Gibson Divorce Turns Ugly

Gibson Divorce Turns Ugly

Actor demands his Nazi memorabilia


Jewlarious Satire -- Celebrity divorce watchers are salivating as divorce proceedings between Mel Gibson and Robyn Moore, his wife of 28 years, are heating up. A Gibson insider source, Gibson himself, told Jewlarious, "She is so petty. I have one billion dollars and she is wrangling over my miniature statuettes of Himler and Goebbels? She won't let me keep my ‘tickle me Adolf' doll? Those were gifts from my father, legendary anti-Semite Hutton Gibson, and I want to give them to Elias Koteas when I pass on or when the cabal of Jewish bankers finally pays to have me lynched. Why does she need them?"

Moore's camp meanwhile derided these claims as "childish." A Moore inside source, Robyn Moore, told Jewlarious, "Every time Mel is in the bath and I sink his U-Boats, he cries. The man was in Mad Max and Lethal Weapon. Everyone thinks he is so tough, but he's not. The guy is such a baby -- intolerable!"

She's so petty! She won't let me keep my ‘tickle me Adolf' doll?

According to gossip websites, Gibson and Moore had a happy marriage but split when Gibson demanded that he star in a sequel to his now legendary drunken tirade, wherein he drove his Lexus 87 miles per hour (50% over the speed limit) with a .12% blood alcohol level, .04% above the legal limit. Gibson felt that his first performance was "too improvisational" and that a sequel would give him the flexibility to plan a proper anti-Semitic tirade. Gibson's production company had begun work in earnest and had already cast Gibson in the role of "Mel Gibson – Notorious Bigot" and was hoping to give it a "Rush Hour feel" by adding Michael Richards as his fast talking, adorably racist, side-kick.

Now, the project is in peril with Moore potentially wanting half of Gibson's funds and Gibson being unable to finance the project on his own. Gibson complained to Jewlarious, "How am I ever going to get the money for this picture? Can you put in a good word for me with Lloyd Blankfein at Goldman Sachs?"

April 18, 2009

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Visitor Comments: 20

(20) Ashley Bell, June 2, 2009 12:09 AM

Limerick for a Shmendrik

There once was a man named Mel, Who made a big blunder, then fell, His words & his quibbling, Left us feribbling, Is Mel a man?, I can't tell

(19) Phillip Segall, April 27, 2009 2:05 PM

Enlighten up

When a goy-just-met learns I'm Jewish, invariably I get a "Hey, my greatgrandmother on my father's 4th cousin's side was Jewish. I'll stare intently at the person's nose and say, with a "Jewish accent," "Dat's don't LOOK part Jewish." This almost aways gets a "I guess I did sound stupidly sympathetic" reaction, with an embarrassed laugh, and we remain friendly. So am I being antiSemitic? Come on, guys, if we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at, it's this Jewish Humor that has pulled us through thousands of years of strife.

(18) Feigele, April 27, 2009 11:04 AM

Where is the Humor?

I am very surprised to find this article on! Not that we should ignore our enemies but why tell their life stories, frankly, who cares. Drunk *or* not drunk, apologies *or* not, people like him, will do it again and again over. It won’t be the last time. Unfortunately for him, as a child, he was brain-washed by his racist *or* anti-Semite father and now he’s struggling with it, which might be a major reason for his drinking.
I never ever find humor when it comes to racism *or* anti-Semitism, gentile no gentile.

(17) Shimon Yaakov, April 26, 2009 11:03 AM

Not as funny as it could have been

OK, Mel Gibson has shown himself to be a racist, an anti-semite and a bigot, so by all means lampoon him. But I have to agree with Lou - this satire was not the quality we have come to expect. The only excuse for taking this approach is that it is funny - and this wasn't.

(16) Sarah, April 25, 2009 11:26 PM

Not Funny

This isn't funny - it just adds fuel to the fire. Poster, *Lou*, says it best.

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