Former President calls theft “the single biggest mistake of my career, outside of running for a second term.”

by Shmuel Savage

JEWLARIOUS SATIRE – Calling it “the single biggest mistake of my career, outside of running for a second term” Jimmy Carter apologized to the Polish, Jewish and American people this past Sunday. Carter was caught red-handed at a Warsaw Dunkin Donuts, quietly sipping a latte and sitting with the arbeit macht frei sign, which had otherwise hung at the Auschwitz concentration camp, since its inception.

A chastened Carter defended his actions and relationship with the Jewish people, telling the Jewlarious News Network (JNN), “Calling Israel an apartheid state, cuddling with Hamas leaders and stealing the arbeit macht frei sign do not make me an anti-Semite. I love the people of the book, but just wish that there were fewer of them and that they had less land so that we could fully monitor and appreciate them, never taking them for granted again.”

“I love the people of the book, but just wish that there were fewer of them.”

When pressed by JNN as to why he was at the site and how he managed to steal the sign without anyone seeing, Carter explained: “It was a lark. Rosalyn and I build those habitats houses so we are pretty handy with tools these days. I just got onto her shoulders – Rosalyn is as strong as an ox – and we took out a ratchet set and removed the screws. Then, she just carried me away.”

A tearful Rosalyn Carter told JNN confidentially, “Jimmy has gained 20 pounds in the last three years. It was awful.”

Friends and foes struggled to understand what Carter wanted to do with the sign. Long time Carter critic Allan Dershowitz told Jewlarious, “Jimmy is straight up crazy. Can I just leave it at that?”

President Obama immediately distanced himself from Carter saying, “We all know that they give these Nobel Peace Prizes out to anyone, even the least accomplished people. Jimmy got one. I got one. On the upside, he is making me feel more deserving.”

Thorbjorn Jagland, Chairman of the Nobel Prize Committee, reached at his home in Oslo for comment, told JNN: “Once an individual receives the Nobel Prize, the Nobel Prize Committee then stands behind all of their subsequent actions unhesitatingly. That went for Yasser Arafat, and of course the same policy applies to Mr. Carter. We wholeheartedly support Jimmy’s right to damage and steal the arbeit macht frei sign.”

Published: January 2, 2010

Like this article? Help us create more. Aish.com exists
only through the support of our readers.

Visitor Comments: 28

(28) Lillian Nussbaum Tobin, January 13, 2010 11:01 PM

I feel this parody is in poor taste and not very funny - it definitely does not rank as something witty. And to center it around a symbol which is so painful for so many is downright wrong if not sacreligious. Why not just call him simply a "Naar"? And a self-serving one at that.

(27) Shira, January 9, 2010 4:05 PM

humor is a shortcut to the truth

While outlandish, the ideas in this parody give us a chance to openly make accusations which, for diplomatic reasons, we can never otherwise say. And at the same time it allows us to take the craziness of international affairs more lightly, and shift our attention to other important arenas where we should apply ourselves.

(26) , January 9, 2010 4:36 AM

Oy

(25) Anonymous, January 6, 2010 8:16 PM

Humor is good for us

I read the first comment with a request to remove this article because by being humorous it belittles the horrible action that occured. I disagree... We can not laugh about actual murder, however, Jews have always laughed about antisemites and their actions.. It is not done to belittle the horrible truth the world is anti Israel but it is done to keep our morale and spirits up.. we laugh and go on living adn fighting and having children and prospering...

(24) Jazzy, January 6, 2010 4:31 AM

Not funny, and provacotive for no reason

I'm not a fan of Jimmy Carter at all. I dislike his policies. That said, I don't think there is any humor to be found in the stealing of the sign from Auschwitz. Connecting it to Carter, even as a joke seems to be just plain dumb. I'd really recommend removing this article as soon as possible as it undermines all the wonderful articles posted here.

See All Comments

Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.


  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment
stub

About the Author

Shmuel Savage

Related Articles:

Sponsors

    Upcoming Holiday

    • Shavuot: May 27 - 28, 2012
    A fascinating, big picture overview of the holiday of Shavuot and the Ten Commandments.
    How I first received the Torah, bedecked in torn jeans and a tattoo.
    One of the holiest days of the Jewish year is also one of the least known.

    Jewlarious is dedicated in blessed memory of Richard Allen Julis (Raphael Avraham ben Moshe) who made us laugh and made us better Jews.