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Shmuelslist

Shmuelslist

At long last, a Jewish version of Craigslist.

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Any of us who spend any time on the computer these days – which are most people on the planet, except for one shepherd in Mongolia, and even he is considering an iPhone -- are no doubt familiar with the web site Craigslist, a centralized network of online communities, featuring free online classified ads – with sections devoted to jobs, housing, personals, for sale, services, community, gigs, résumés, and discussion forums.

According to Wikipedia, Craigslist serves over twenty billion page views per month, putting it in 33rd place overall among web sites worldwide and 7th place overall among web sites in the United States, with over 49.4 million unique monthly visitors in the U.S. alone. Which is almost as impressive as Justin Bieber’s career trajectory. With over eighty million new classified ads each month, Craigslist is the leading classifieds service in any medium.

Shmuelslist combines two things we Jews love – shmoozing and buying things for less than retail.

I know what you’re thinking – “Why doesn’t someone do a Jewish version of Craigslist?” Hey, hold on, fellow Members of the Tribe; I was just getting to that. Someone has indeed created a Jewish version of Craigslist! It’s called Shmuleslist, named after its founder Shmuel Rosenblatt (who changed his name from “Shmuel Arnold” to appeal to a larger Jewish contingency). Although it’s only been operational for less than three months, its growth rate has astounded media experts. But its success has not been a surprise to its founder. Says Rosenblatt, “It’s a basically combination of the two things we Jews love – shmoozing and buying things for less than retail. How could it not succeed?”

But don’t take my word for it, though. Sit down with some chicken soup, maybe a little rugelach, some klezmer music, and check out some of its listings for yourself. Here is a representative sampling from several of its categories:

For Sale: Furniture

MURRAY SCHWARTZ UPHOLSTRED CHAIR - $65


Date: 2011-01-09, 2:52PM PST
Reply to: shmutzik-free.chair@shmuelslist.org


Super comfortable Murray Schwartz upholstered chair. Purchased directly from the famed Murray Schwartz Design Studio in Piscataway, New Jersey. You’ll be so overwhelmed with how comfortable this is, you’ll plotz. My worthless husband Myron used to plant his tuches in this chair every night before he passed away – may his memory be for a blessing. $65 OBO, Please email or call Dottie at (555) 399-7050. But not on Sundays, from 3-5 p.m. – My pinochle group meets then.

  • Location: Miami; where else?
  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests unless you have a really good deal on pearl earrings.
  • No zhlubs, please.

Jobs: Healthcare Jobs

PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT


Date: 2011-01-09, 3:29PM PST
Reply to: nopishersneedapply@shmuelslist.org


Attention, young Jewish women looking for a husband. Name one other job that puts you in such close proximity to – doctors! You’ll work with them side by side for hours and have every opportunity to impress them with your charm and caring nature. Oh, and your healthcare training, too. We are an agency specializing in placing physicians’ assistants with accomplished doctors. In ten years, over 300 of our physicians’ assistants have married doctors they met on the job! And that’s no chopped liver. Hey, you should be paying us for this amazing opportunity. Instead, we’ll be paying you to become a balabusta in no time! Such a deal!

  • Location: CULVER CITY
  • Compensation: 40.00 TO 46.00 PER HOUR plus physician proximity.
  • Principals only. Recruiters and other fershtinkeners, please don't contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job! I’ve got to keep the line open for my mother-in-law.
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests—or whether we can provide a photo of the doctor in advance.

Personals – Women Seeking Men

LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO QVETCH TO AND MAYBE MORE - 30


Date: 2011-01-09, 9:58 PM PST
Reply To: Fermisht@shmuelslist.org


I am looking for someone to qvetch to and maybe more. I’m an optimist and feel that there is an unlimited number of topics in life about which to qvetch, complain, nag, whine, lament, protest and moan – so why limit it to my mother in law, though that subject alone could set me off for weeks. Please be around my age and not in the military, as I’ve already done enough complaining about future uncertainty.

Location: Jerusalem

  • it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests; she’d just complain about it anyway, so save yourself the trouble. Nothing personal.
  • Hobbies: None
  • Interests: None
  • Friends: None
  • Likes: Interesting people

Housing – Rooms & Shares

$595 Room for rent to serious, Jewish, marriage-minded professional, Utilities included, Great Location! This is no shtetl. My unmarried daughter Sheila lives down the street! If you’re a doctor, so much the better. Will accept lawyer or accountant.


Date: 2011-01-15, 1:05PM PST 
Reply to: Vusmachsda@shmuelslist.org  


Private, furnished bedroom for rent in quiet residential home. Room is decorated with photo collage of the world’s greatest cantors. My daughter Sheila is not overweight; she is big-boned. Good neighborhood, fresh paint, ceiling fans, new bedding, wireless cable internet available. Sheila can cook a pot roast that will bring tears to your eyes. Kitchen and laundry privileges. BBQ, plenty of street parking.  Must be clean, respectable & employed with references. No pets, (I have a dog named Isaac). No smoking, no drugs. Available now. $595/month (includes utilities) + cleaning/security deposit. Call for appointment. Believe me, you could do worse. Not to be a nudge, but call already. 555-945-8781. 
 
Location: Will reveal after I pre-screen you. Want to get a sense of your personality and that you’re not some fershlugina alter cocker.

  • It's NOT ok to contact this poster if you’re not a marriage-minded Jewish professional.
  • Sheila doesn’t know about this, so just pretend it’s a coincidence that you turn out to be her perfect man.
  • If you play your cards right, you could also have access to our timeshare in Boca.
  • My phone’s not ringing; what’s to think over? Call!

Published: January 29, 2011


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Visitor Comments: 7

(7) Anonymous, February 4, 2011 3:06 PM

jewish craig list

very funny

(6) , February 3, 2011 2:44 AM

I know that at least 50% of Tufts Medical School classes recently have been FEMALE.

(5) Mark Miller, February 3, 2011 12:43 AM

RE: Physician Assistant Reply

Yes, as you say, the article, as all Jewlarious articles, is written in jest. Plus, nowhere did I say "the primary goal of becoming a PA is to find a wealthy Jewish husband." In fact, it was directed, by its "poster," in the character of someone who would post such a message, exclusively to "young Jewish women looking for a husband." And, of course, plays off that stereotype of a woman who would do that to be close to a marriage-eligible doctor. And I give our Jewlarious readers credit to be intelligent enough to realize all this and to understand that most PAs are intelligent and motivated.

(4) Anonymous, February 2, 2011 10:11 PM

to reply #3

you are to be praised, oh holy PA....but to tell the emmet, it couldn't hoit to marry a nice Jewish Doctor, now, could it? You gotta tickle that funny-bone and laugh at life a little, dahlink!

(3) , February 2, 2011 4:22 AM

Physician Assistant Reply

I realize your article is written in jest, however, as a young Jewish female Physician Assistant, I am slightly offended by your jab at PAs. Many intelligent and motivated young people these days choose to pursue the PA profession instead of applying to medical school in order to practice medicine, increase access to affordable and quality care, and enjoy a more normal lifestyle. I think I speak for most of my female colleagues when I say that the primary goal of becoming a PA is not to find a wealthy Jewish husband.

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