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Ten Ways the IDF is More Humane Than…

Ten Ways the IDF is More Humane Than…

...your mother-in-law and 9 others you never considered.


Your Mother-in-Law: The IDF calls ahead to see if anyone is home; your mother in law yells “is anybody home?” while standing in your living room

Wolf Blitzer: IDF Spokesman Peter Lerner answers questions fairly and thoughtfully; Wolf Blitzer is not paying attention to anyone he is interviewing and yells everything he says

Your Doctor: At no cost, Israeli doctors treat Arab children throughout the Middle East including Hamas head Ismail Haniyeh’s own granddaughter; Your doctor ain’t working for free. His mother didn’t send him to medical school so he can remove your kid’s tonsils for kicks.

UPS: The IDF has fit men wearing long pants; UPS has fat men wearing shorts

You: The IDF protects its citizens from rocket fire with the now famous “Iron Dome”; As a child, your favorite wrestler was the “Iron Shiek”

Jim Morrison: Israel accepted Egypt’s ceasefire offer (while Hamas rejected it); Jim Morrison taunts listeners to “Come on baby, light my fire.”

World of Warcraft: Israel abides by the international laws of warfare even while fighting against Hamas terrorists who make a mockery of those laws; Videogame World of Warcraft likewise spurns international law with its violence against gryphons, dragons, and werewolves – since when are werewolves not subject to international law?

France: The IDF protects the rights of all people to worship freely no matter what their religion affiliation; France protects the rights of Jews to hide in the basement of a shul with the lights out while they are hunted by an angry mob.

The Milwaukee Bucks: The IDF’s pinpoint missile strikes are said to have 98% accuracy; Last season, the NBA’s Milwaukee Bucks shot at a dismal rate of 38% accuracy.

You: IDF medical teams fly to disaster relief zones to help the victims; You said that you were going to donate $18 to that Red Cross earthquake relief fund but you never did. And you told people you donated. And you told them you donated $180.

Published: July 19, 2014

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Visitor Comments: 2

(2) Randall, July 26, 2014 2:02 AM

Two Hamas Mothers

Looking at pictures of their children one Mother says aloud " I'm so proud of Abdul and how he learned to make bombs, but I do miss him" . The other Mom says " Yes, so do I. Our children blow up so fast these days".

(1) Steven Kalka, July 21, 2014 2:43 PM

Dreams of the pharoahs

Moses was the early predecessor of Sigmund Freud as he interpreted the dreams of the pharoahs. It started when a pharoah came to Moses and said, "Moses. Last night I dreamt I looked at my mother and she had your face. I woke right up, gobbled down a goblet of wine and came right over here. Moses replied: A goblet of wine? You call that a breakfast?"

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