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Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

Where to Take Your Jewish Date this Summer

For those committed to the Jewish faith, mini golf is the perfect date. We are good at it!

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As someone who is trying to find my Jewish soul mate (bashert) I have found that where you take your date is very important. I once made the mistake of taking my date to the amusement park. Take it from me, please do not do this if you do not like being placed upside down, hanging by your legs from six stories up, and then being swung to the other side in a pirate ship.

Here's some other advice and places to go that you might enjoy:

Mini Golf

Mini golf is my sport. If you take away 300 yards from the shot, I can sink a hole in 5.

Golf is not for dates. Jews aren’t good at golf. Has there ever been a Jew on the PGA tour? One measly golfer, Corey Pavin, and he converted to Christianity!

For those committed to the Jewish faith, mini golf is the perfect date. We are good at it! We are good at sports that involve little to no skill. And you can show off your athletic prowess on the date when you get a hole in one by accidently hitting the windmill and the back wall off your full swing, after yelling ‘fore’ on your six-foot putt.

Arcade

Any activity that involves no skill or participation is perfect for the Jewish date. This is why arcades are so great. Everybody loves arcades. The only people who don’t like it are the fathers who are spending $50 on tokens. This is why you go to the arcade on a date, without children.

In terms of games, there’s always the “place a coin on top of the other coins” game, and possibly win more coins. There’s the House of Fun, which usually is not that fun. And then don’t forget bumper cars. Bumper cars is where you sit in a little cart that you paid $12 extra for and don’t move for three minutes. People purposefully hit your car and laugh. You are then stuck, waiting for the attendant to move you in the correct direction. If the attendant moves you, then you get stuck again, and people are crashing into you laughing even more.

The Carnival

If they didn’t have the popup clown looking Muppet head that you beat with a sponge stick at the arcade, they will definitely have it at the carnival. This is a good tool to get out your aggression while not frightening your date.

The carnival is so much more fun than the amusement park. Who wants to spend forty-five minutes in line for the Roller Coaster of Doom, when you can ride in a tea cup that goes in circles?! Better yet, if it is a Jewish carnival, you might even have a shofar making booth. And you really think you are going to enjoy your date at the amusement park, getting all wet on the Flume Water Log? Go to the carnival, where people make up rides and games without the use of technology.

Kosher Restaurant

If you want to go broke on a sandwich, this is the perfect date for you.

Café

This is what you call a restaurant when you are on a date.

Café sounds classy. Plus, your date will think you speak French. You can also get out with buying nothing more than a cup of coffee; since coffee sounds like café, and probably is coffee in France too.

Burgers Bar

Similar to Burger King, but this restaurant that is found in Israel and New York has kosher food. Hence, the burgers are expensive enough to call it a classy restaurant. It is a “bar” after all. I know many people will claim it is fast food, but I have stood there, waiting for my burger for 20 minutes.

Picnic

Just go on a picnic and save money on food. Call it an organic date and eat fruits and vegetables. You’ve saved money on the date and for some reason, this is more romantic than putting down $230 on dinner and a bottle of wine.

Beach

Make sure you got to a modest beach. A good religious beach, where men and women are not together. This is a great way not to talk to your date. Also, stay on the beach. Do not do any water sports. You will get wet.

Shul

A lot of people say that having to be quiet during prayers hinders interaction, but this is a good thing. It prevents you from saying anything stupid. The mechitzah, partition, is good for this too. When somebody is in the middle of the Amidah, silent prayer, that is not a time that you should be striking up a chat. Your date may be doing some soul searching about you as a potential match and talking may just ruin your chances.

To impress your date, be sure to look penitent. You can do this by closing your eyes, swaying back and forth and adding in a heavy duty bow every once in a while. If you want to peer into the ladies’ section, you can squint. Squinting correctly can also look penitent on a sunny day. So feel free to use it throughout the summer.

Shul makes for great discussion. The rabbi’s sermon is always interesting; after services, you can strike up a conversation about paying shul dues. You can also discuss how the guy pulled the wrong string when opening the ark curtain, and the amount of candies the children can get at a Bar Mitzvah, if they are willing to jump on the floor.

Baseball Game

Almost like the shul experience.

People are yelling and complaining about the professionals. When was the last time you were at Kiddush and didn’t hear somebody complain about the rabbi?!

Somebody is going up and down the rows talking and disturbing people; exactly like shul. And everybody would enjoy shul more if there was popcorn and somebody shouting, ‘get your beer here.’

Kids are also jumping on the floor, but here they are diving after baseballs. And outside, all the players are squinting their eyes trying to catch a ball, looking penitent.

Enjoy your summer and your loved one and make sure you take them someplace special. Especially somewhere that doesn’t cost a lot.

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