Chelm’s Walk in Clinic
Dr. Goldstein opened a walk in clinic in the famed city of Chelm. Dr. Goldstein’s first patient, a fellow named Chaim Yankel walked in and said, "Doctor, I hurt all over."
"That's impossible," Dr. Goldstein said.
"No, really!" Chaim Yankel, "Just look -- when I touch my arm, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my head, ouch! it hurts. When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts.”
“I know for a fact that your body is fine,” said Dr. Goldstein.
“How could you know such a thing?” asked Chaim Yankel, shocked.
Dr. Goldtein replied, "Because your finger is broken."
Herman & Henny’s Itinerary
Herman and Henny Pearlman live in Boca and Henny likes to check in with her Herman each morning to plan the day’s activities.
"Herman, what are you doing today?” asked Henny.
"Nothing," said Herman.
"That's what you did yesterday," said Henny.
“Well,” answered Herman, "I wasn't finished."
Last Will and Testament
Sally Roth, on elderly lady from New York was getting her final affairs in order. She prepared her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her Rabbi to talk about what type of funeral service she wanted, etc.
She told her Rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales.
“Cremation!” said Rabbi Rosenberg. “God Forbid, do you realize that this is forbidden by the Torah?”
“I do indeed,” said Mrs. Roth.
“I’d like to speak with you about this Mrs. Roth,” said Rabbi Rosenberg. “Before we do that, may I ask, why Bloomingdales?”
"That way,” said Mrs. Roth, “I know my daughters will visit me twice a week."