A man was walking across the road when he was struck by a car. The impact was on his head which caused him to be comatose for two days before he finally regained consciousness. When he opened his eyes, his wife was there beside him.

He held her hand and said meaningfully: "You have always been beside me. When I was a struggling university student, I failed again and again. You were always there beside me, encouraging me to go on trying".

She squeezed his hands as he continued. "When I went for all the major interviews and failed to clinch any of the jobs, you were there beside me, cutting out more ads for me to apply..." He continued, "Then I started work at this little firm and finally got to handle a big contract. I blew it because of one little mistake. And you were there beside me. Then I finally got another job after being laid off for some time. But I never seem to be promoted and my hard work was not recognized. As such, I remained in the same position from the day I joined the company till now. And you were there beside me".

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she listened to her husband. "And now I had an accident and when I woke up, you were here beside me........There's something I'd really like to say to you..." She flung herself on the bed to hug her husband, sobbing with emotion.

He said..., “I think you really bring me bad luck.”

Estelle Sapperstein came home to her husband Sol and said, "Honey, the car won't start, but I know what the problem is." Sol asked her what it was and she told him that there was water in the carburetor.

Sol thought for a moment, then said, "Don’t take this the wrong way honey but you don't know the carburetor from the catalytic converter!"

"No, there's definitely water in the carburetor!" she insisted.

"OK, Honey, that's fine, I'll just go take a look. Where is it?"

"In the lake."

The Beth David Shul has quite a few married couples who have enjoyed lengthy marriages. So Rabbi Bloom organizes a discussion at the shul on, ‘how to stay happily married for a long time’ and invites shul members who have been married for 30 years or more to talk about their marriages. One member who turns up is Cyril and he’s been married for almost 50 years. So Rabbi Bloom invites Cyril to give the audience an insight into how he’s been able to survive 50 years with the same woman.

Cyril stands up and says to the audience, "Well, it’s simple really. I treated my Hettie with respect, gave her whatever she asked for, and took all her flack with a smile on my face."

"Is that all you did?" asks Rabbi Bloom.

"No, not all," replies Cyril, "on special occasions, I sometimes took Hettie to far away places."

"So tell us, Cyril," asks Rabbi Bloom, "where did you take Hettie on the last special occasion?"

"I took Hettie to Beijing in China on our 40th wedding anniversary," replies Cyril.

"Wow!" says Rabbi Bloom, "If only all Jewish husbands could follow your example. But before you sit down, Cyril, can you tell us what you're planning to do on your 50th anniversary?"

Cyril replies, "I'm going to go back to Beijing and bring Hettie back."