The Good Old Days
Brother and Sister Reuven and Dina decided to reframe their favorite photograph of their mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. After removing the picture from the frame, Dina turned it over, hoping to find a date. She didn’t. Instead, she found a handwritten note that was hard to decipher at first. Then she figured it out. It was her mother’s writing and it said, "128 lbs."
When Does Life Begin?
A rabbi, a priest and a minister are discussing when life begins.
The priest says: "In our religion, life begins at conception."
The minister says: "We disagree. We believe that life begins when the fetus is viable outside of the mother's womb."
The rabbi responds: "You both are wrong. In our religion, life begins when all of the children are married off."
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Moishe, Shmuel and Chaim met once a week in the Lower East Side in Manhattan to discuss the world’s situation. On one occasion, they tried to solve the problems of life.
"Where do all of life's problems come from?" asked Chaim.
The more they talked about it, the more they thought they knew the answer. The problem of life is that everyone has worries. “If people didn't have any worries,” said Shmuel, “then life would be easy.”
But now that they knew, another question remained, how can we three end our worries?
They thought for a while and then Moishe said, “Why don’t we hire somebody to do all the worrying for us so that we can then have it easy?”
Shmuel said, “Great idea. It won’t be an easy job though but between us, we could come up with enough to compensate him for this challenging role.”
So they all agreed to chip in to pay someone $2000 a month to do all their worrying for them.
They were very happy with this decision until Shmuel pointed out the flaw.
"Tell me," he said, “If the man is making $2000 each month, what has he got to worry about?”