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Managerial Malpractice

Chaim Yankel opened a clothing store and was trying to manage it to the best of his capabilities, although sometimes he came up short.

Once day he overheard his cashier say to a customer, “No, we haven’t had it for a while now, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be getting it soon.” Chaim Yankel quickly assured the customer that they’d have it next week – no questions asked.

After the customer left, Chaim Yankel read his cashier the riot act. “How many times do I have to tell you? Never tell the customer that we’re out of anything! Tell them we’ll have it next week. Now, what was it that she was asking about?”

“Rain.”

Weighing In

Miriam Sapperstein had been gaining weight steadily for many years and her doctor recommended that she go on a doctor assisted weight loss program. Every week she began to weigh in, sometimes with mixed results.

One week she weighed in at 174 pounds, not quite what she wanted. “Why don’t you just take off the last four,” she said to the nurse, who then made a notation on her chart.

A few moments later, the doctor came in and flipped through her chart. “I see you’ve lost weight Miriam,” he said. “Interesting…you’re down to 17 pounds!”

Dog Eat Dog

Abe and Irv were neighbors in a Florida retirement community, and both proud pet owners.

“My dog is so smart,” Abe bragged, “that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He brings the kid his tip and then brings me the paper, along with my morning medicine.”

“I know,” said Irv.

“How could you know?” asked Abe.

“Because my dog told me.”

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