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The Hostess with the Mostess

David and Sarah Weisbrod were in their first year of marriage and they decided to host all of their siblings and their kids at their place for Shabbat Lunch. Wanting to make a good impression as first time Shabbat hosts, they decided that David would serve the food and Sarah would play games with kids – her nieces and nephews. As their apartment had a nice courtyard in the front with a large grassy field Sarah thought she would take the kids out before dessert.

Even though Sarah only had 8 nieces and nephews, the laughter and activity drew other children, until about thirty kids were playing and clamoring for Sarah’s. After three hours, she called it quits. Time for a Shabbos nap.

The next morning while David was about to leave the house to run some errands, two boys knocked on the patio door and asked if David’s kids could come out and play. David told them that they didn’t have any kids – those were their nieces and nephews who were visiting. Looking momentarily dejected, they brightened considerably as they asked, "Well, then, can your wife come out and play?"

An Apple a Day

Little Moishie Solomon was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Abba, why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his father, a college professor explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then Moishie asked softly, "Abba, are you talking to me?

I Just Called to Say…

Devorah Sussman was at home with her 6 kids while her husband Chaim was on a business trip. In between meetings, he called home to say hello.

The phone rang but in going to answer it, Devorah tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver, turning on the phone. As it fell, it hit one of the twins – Shmuli who started crying. Shmuli thought his twin brother Avi hit him so he hit him back and Avi started crying. The teenage daughter Rachel screamed “shut up I’m trying to do my homework!” while Devorah started mumbling some colourful words under her breath.

Devorah finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband Chaim’s voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."

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