A young man was walking through a supermarket when he noticed an old lady named Ethel Supperstein following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

"Pardon me," said Ethel, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."

"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much better."

"Sure," answered the young man.

As Mrs. Supperstein was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"

As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.

"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"

"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.

Source: www.awordinyoureye.com

23 year-old Emma is very excited. Last night her boyfriend proposed to her and she is about to tell her parents the good news over breakfast. "Mum, Dad," she says excitedly, "You know Joshua, the new boyfriend of mine I met only a few weeks ago? Well, he wants to marry me and I think he’s just perfect for me."

"Mazel tov darling," shouts Fay, as she rushes over to Emma and gives her a big hug and kiss. "I’ve been waiting for such news for some time."

"Well I hope he can support you," Issy says to Emma. "What does this boy of yours actually do for a living?"

"He’s a chazan, dad," she replies.

"Well, that’s not good news," says Issy. "I’ve always said that no daughter of mine is going to marry a chazan. If you insist on marrying him, I won’t be there to see it."

Emma breaks down crying and begs her father to change his mind, but to no avail. Then Emma has an idea. She suggests that at least he should go see Joshua in action, in his shul. Reluctantly, Issy agrees.

The following shabbes, Issy keeps his promise and goes to Joshua’s shul to see him in action. Emma is waiting on the doorstep when he returns home and immediately asks,

"Well dad, what did you think of him?"

Issy replies with a wide smile, "Mazel tov, my darling Emma, I think Joshua will make a good husband for you."

On hearing this, Emma cries with happiness. "Oh dad, I’m so, so happy. But tell me – why have you changed your mind?"

"I haven’t," replies Issy, "Joshua is no chazan."

Steve Goldstein decided to take his Zadie, Hymie, to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked his Zadie how he liked the experience.

"Oh, I liked it," Zadie replied, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."

Dumbfounded, Steve asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flip a coin. One team gets it, and then for the rest of the game, all they keep screaming is, 'Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!' It's only 25 cents!"