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Playpen Party

Shifra was starting to get a little stir crazy with her three young kids all under the age of 4. She complained to her best friend Miriam, "I’m getting no rest! They’re driving me crazy!"

"What you need," said Miriam, "is a playpen."

So Shifra bought a playpen. A few days later, Miriam called to ask how things were going.

"Amazing! I can't believe it," Shifra said. "I get in that pen with a good book and a chocolate bar, and the kids don't bother me for hours!"

Look Whose Coming for Shabbat Dinner?

Rebecca thought it was time for her family to expand their social circle. So she and her husband David invited a bunch of different people over for Shabbat dinner. But early on, things weren’t looking so good.

Ralph, an insurance salesman, was monopolizing the conversation with a lengthy account of recent litigation he was involved with. Since two other guests were lawyers, Rebecca was becoming increasingly uneasy.

"In the end," Ralph concluded, "you know who got all the money."

Rebecca and David cringed.

"The lawyers!" Ralph shouted.

There was embarrassed silence at the table. Rebecca’s heart was pounding until the wife of one lawyer said, "Oh, I love a story with a happy ending."

Deli Drive Through

One day a New York state trooper was pulling off the highway and as he turned onto the street, he noticed someone pulling out of Moishe’s Kosher Deli. But the driver placed his pastrami on rye on top of his car, got in, and drove off with the sandwich still on top of his car.

So the trooper decided to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his sandwich. He pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the deli sandwich off the roof, and offered it to the driver.

The driver, an old Jewish man looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks. I just bought one."

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