The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

No Marriage Counselling Required

Dave and Cindy Rothman had some friends over for Shabbos dinner when the subject of marriage counselling came up.

"Oh, we'll never need that. Cindy and I have a great relationship," Dave explained.

"She was a communications major in college and I believe it or not, I received a minor in theater arts."

“How does that help you?” asked their guest.

"Cindy communicates really well and I am very good at acting like I'm listening."


Gone Golfing

Moishe Feinman was invited by some colleagues at his accounting firm to go golfing. The four men approached the first tee which had a straight fairway which ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left.

“Why don’t you go first, Moishe,” said John Callahan. Moishe was nervous – he wasn’t much of a golfer. He took a deep breath, teed off and hooked the ball in the direction of the road. The ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back right onto the green.

As they all stood in silent amazement, John finally asked Moishe, "How on earth did you do that?"

Moishe shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule."


Chaim Yankel’s Wife is in Labor!

Chaim Yankel called the doctor in Chelm and shouted frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"What kind of question is that?!" Chaim Yankel shouted. "This is her husband!"


 

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