If You Only Knew
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If You Only Knew

A little Jewish grandmother gets on the crowded bus in Jerusalem and discovers that she doesn't have correct change for the fare. The driver tries to be firm with her, but she places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, "If you knew what I had, you'd be nicer to me." He caves in and lets her ride for free.

She tries to push her way down the crowded aisle, but people won't move over for her. She finally places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, "If you knew what I had, you'd be nicer to me." The crowd parts like the Red Sea and lets her down the aisle.

She gets to the back of the bus where there are no seats and looks significantly at several people, none of whom take the hint and get up to offer her their seat. Once again she places her hand delicately over her chest and murmurs, "If you knew what I had, you'd be nicer to me." Several people jump up and insist that she sit down and ride in comfort.

A woman who had been watching all this leaned over and said to her, "I know this is none of my business, but what is it that you've got, anyway?"

The little Jewish grandmother smiled and said, "Chutzpah."

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