Joke: The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays
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The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays

The Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays:

Rosh Hashanah ------- Feast
Tzom Gedalia ----------- Fast
Yom Kippur -------------- More fasting
Sukkot -------------------- Feast for a week +
Hashanah Rabba ---- More feasting
Simchat Torah --------- Keep right on feasting
Month of Heshvan ----- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on yourself.
Hanukkah ---------------- Eat potato pancakes
Tenth of Tevet --------- Do not eat potato pancakes
Tu B'Shevat ------------ Feast
Fast of Esther ---------Fast
Purim --------------------- Eat pastry
Passover ---------------- Do not eat pastry for a week
Shavuot ------------------ Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes, etc.)
17th of Tammuz -------- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
Tisha B'Av ----------------- Serious fast (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
Month of Elul ------------ End of cycle.
Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders before High Holidays arrive again.

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