Top Ten Signs Your Shul Is in a Recession

Top Ten Signs Your Shul Is in a Recession:

10. Hot kiddush means we have hot water and Styrofoam cups

9. Crown on top of Torah looks a heck of a lot like a cardboard Burger King crown

8. Instead of hiring Janitorial staff, Rabbi just sells garbage so it doesn’t halachically “belong” to the shul anymore

7. Yarzheit lights designed to flash new Corporate Sponsor's Logo

6. You spot your Rabbi playing guitar at the mall for donations

5. Benches are wooden, worn down and have golden name plates from 1972

(Never mind, that's what it's like in an economic boom, too)

4. Tzedaka Box is filled with IOU's

3. Your rebbetzin is on "Antique Road Show" trying to pawn off the shul’s artifacts as “collectables”

2. Bar Mitzvah Candy bags are just Ziplocs filled with rocks

1. The "Ner Tamid" isn't exactly tamid

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