The Chassid and the Bank
A Chassid wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take some jewelry to the city and sell it," said the Chassid.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker.
"I’m sorry mister,” replied the Chassid, “but I don't know what collateral means."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1979 Chevy Minivan."
The banker shook his head, "How about any investments? Stocks or bonds?"
"My cousin Morty is in the stock market,” answered the Chassid. “He makes a nice living.”
Frustrated yet amused, the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the Chassid was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan mister," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"
"Put it in my pocket."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?"
"I’m sorry, what do you mean?”
"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The Chassid leaned across the desk smiling, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"