Good News and Bad News
Sheldon Goldberg was a defense lawyer who always tried to look on the bright side, even with his most hardened criminal clients. One day, during a particularly difficult case, he told his client:
"I've got good news and bad news. The bad news is your blood test came back and your DNA matches the blood found on the victim, the murder weapon and the getaway car."
"Oh no!" said the client. "I'm finished! What's the good news?"
"Your cholesterol is down to 140."