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  • Torah Reading: Naso
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A Violent Crime?

A Jew gets pulled over for speeding...

Jew: Is there a problem, officer?

Officer: Sir, you were speeding.

Jew: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see y our license please?

Jew: I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Jew: Lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Jew: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Jew: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Jew: Yes, and I killed the owner.

Officer: You what?

Jew: Killed the owner, I had to self defense otherwise he would call the police and I would be in jail.

The Officer looks at the Jew and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Senior Officer: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The Jew steps out of the vehicle.

Jew: Is there a problem sir?

Senior Officer: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and killed the owner.

Jew: Killed the owner?

Senior Officer: Is this your car, sir?

Jew: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.

Senior Officer: One of my officers claims that you don't have a driving license.

The Jew digs into his pocket takes out his license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Senior Officer: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you killed the owner.

Jew: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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