If I had a million dollars
An old man goes over to his friend and gives him $1,000,000 and says, "When I die please bury me with either the money I just gave you or something you bought with the money." The friend agrees.
The old man goes to a priest and a rabbi and does the exact same thing.
Sure enough, two months later the man dies. His friend goes to the funeral and puts a million dollars worth of diamonds with the old man and comes out crying.
The priest goes in and places an ancient religious artifact that he purchased from an antiques dealer next to the grave. The priest also comes out crying.
Then the Rabbi goes to visit the old man, but comes out a minute later smiling. They ask him why he is so happy.
The rabbi responds, "I left him a check."