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  • Torah Reading: Naso
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The Trouble with Treife

Back in the old west, a wagon train, lost and low on food, approached an old Jew sitting beneath a tree to ask for directions.

Pioneer: Can you point us in the direction of a place where we can get food?

Old Jew: Vell, I tink so, but I wouldn't go up dat hill und down de udder side. Someone told me you vould run into a big bacon tree.

Pioneer: A bacon tree?

Old Jew: Ya, a bacon tree! Vud I lie? Trust me, don't go down der. The leader goes back and tells his people what the old Jew said.

2nd Pioneer: So why did he say not to go there?

3rd Pioneer: Oh you know those Jews -- they have something against pork.

So, the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side.

Suddenly, they are attacked from all sides, and the entire crew is massacred except for the leader who manages to escape. He returns to the old Jew and screams, "You fool! You sent us to our deaths! We followed your route, but there was no bacon tree, just hundreds of bandits!"

Old Jew: (holds up his hand) Vait a minute

He quickly picks up an English-Yiddish dictionary and begins thumbing through it.

Old Jew; 'Oy, I made such a big mistake, it vuzn't a bacon tree.....

It vas a ham bush

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