Horowitz buys a dog, trains him, and invites his friend Epstein over to see him. As soon as Epstein enters the house, Horowitz points to a newspaper on the floor and tells the dog, "Fetch!"
The dog climbs on the couch and wags his tail. Then he starts to frown, and looking up at Horowitz, he says, "Let me tell you, you think it's easy being a dog, wagging my tail all the time, acting friendly to get your attention, and eating that dreck that you feed me? And walking me twice a day -- you really think that's enough?"
Epstein is stunned. He's never seen anything like it. "This is unbelievable. Absolutely amazing. Your dog can talk! You told him to fetch the newspaper, and here he is, sitting on the couch, talking to us like a regular person!"
"I know," says Horowitz apologetically. "He's not fully trained yet. He thought I said Kvetch!"