A rabbi, a chazzan and the president of their synagogue are caught by hungry cannibals. The chief of the cannibal tribe grants the three of them a final request.
The rabbi says, "I'd love to give a two hour sermon. I've always dreamt of giving such a long speech, but the president of my congregation never allowed me that privilege."
The chazzan says, "I'd love to sing for two and a half hours, I've always wanted to sing that long, but the president of the congregation never allowed me to."
The president of the congregation turns to the chief and says, "Please eat me before these two start with their shtik!"