The Heavenly Gates
Bill Gates came up to heaven and God wasn't sure what to do with him. On one hand, he gave a lot of charity, but on the other hand, he created Microsoft Windows which is a terrible operating system.
So God decided to give Bill a choice, let him decide whether he wanted to go to heaven or hell.
"Well, what are heaven and hell like?" asks Gates.
God takes Bill Gates to heaven where he sees a bunch of rabbis pouring over Talmudic texts. Then, he takes him to hell where he sees a beautiful beach with palm trees.
Without giving it much thought, Gates concludes, "I'll take hell."
A couple days later, God goes down to see how Gates is doing, and he's furious.
"I'm burning to a crisp down here! This isn't what I saw before!"
To which God replies, "I'm sorry, you must have seen a screen saver!"