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  • Torah Reading: Naso
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Don't Blame Canada

Isaac arrives in New York from Canada and takes a job working on the shop floor of HYMIE'S SUPERMARKET. One day, a customer asks him where he can find half a head of lettuce and Isaac tells him that they only sell whole heads of lettuce. But the customer is insistent and gets Isaac to consult with Hymie. So Isaac goes into the back room and says to Hymie, "Some shmendrick wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finishes his sentence, Isaac turns to find the customer standing right behind him, so he quickly adds, "And this gentleman offered to buy the other half."

Hymie approves the deal and the customer leaves satisfied. Later that day, Hymie says to Isaac, "I was very impressed with the way you got yourself out of that tricky situation earlier. We like people who can think on their feet here. Where are you from?" "I'm from Canada, sir," Isaac replies.

"So why did you leave Canada?" Hymie asks.

"Because too many yentas and hockey players live there," replies Isaac, smiling.

"That's quite surprising," says Hymie, looking angry. "My wife is from Canada."

Isaac replies, "You don't say? Who did she play for?"

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