Hold Your Horses
At the Israeli race track near Afula, a group of horses are talking. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8!"
Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!"
"Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail.
At this point, they notice "Moishe" the greyhound dog who has been sitting and listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!"
The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
Joke Title: Bravery in the Israeli Army
General Marshall is in charge of the American Army, and he is visiting his colleague General Goldstein, who is in charge of the Israeli Army. Marshall arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Goldstein. They both walk around the place, and Marshall asks: "So how are your men?"
"Very well trained, General."
"I hope so. You see, my men over at the United States Army are so well trained, you see, they're the bravest men in the world."
"Well, I'm not so sure about that General," replies Goldstein. "My men are very brave, too."
"I'd like to see that," says Marshall.
So Goldstein calls private Barak and says: "Private Barak! I want you to stop that tank simply by standing in front of it!"
"Are you crazy?" says Private Barak. "It would kill me! Are you some kind of fool?"
Goldstein turns to a Marshall and says, "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."