The Praying Parrot
A rabbi is buying a parrot.
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asks the rabbi.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the shema, and when you pull on the left he recites the amidah."
"Wonderful!" says the rabbi, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you schmendrik!" screeches the parrot.