Dog Gone It
A guy is driving around suburban Jerusalem and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
"So, you talk?" he asks.
"Yap," the dog replies.
"So, what's your story?" asks the man.
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young and I wanted to help out. So I told the Mossad about my gift, and in no time at all they had me working flat strap, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders and suspected terrorists, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable agents for eight years running. But it was exhausting work and really tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a less stressful job at Ben Gurion airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible stuff and was awarded a batch of medals. During that time I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired. And pretty much, that's it."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars." The guy says.
"This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never worked for Mossad!"