The Latest Jewlarious Jokes

My Son is So Brilliant…

Tuesdays are when Sarah and Rachel get together for coffee. Often times the topic of conversation revolves around their children.

“Have you heard from your David in college?” Rachel asks.

“Oy, my son David is so brilliant” Sarah says proudly, “that every time he writes us we have to go to the dictionary."

"You're lucky," Rachel replies. "Every time we get a letter from ours, we have to go to the bank!"

Last Will and Testament

Jack Bernstein died. His lawyer Harry stood before the family and read out Jack's last will and testament.

"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and one million dollars. To my son Sammy, I leave my big Lexus and the Jaguar. To my daughter Debbie, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave the remainder of my vitamins and my juicer."

How do You Like Your Coffee?

William and Christopher were two friends from England who decided that they wanted to go on a trip to Israel. After putting their bags down at their hotel they decided to go out for coffee. They found a quaint diner, near the souk, and as they sat down at the table, Chris wiped some crumbs from the seat. Then he took a napkin and wiped some moisture from the table.

The waitress, Smadar, came over and asked if they wanted some menus.

"No thanks," said William. "I'll just have a cup of black coffee."

"I'll have black coffee, too," Chris said. "And please make sure the cup is clean."

Smadar shot him a nasty look. She turned and marched off into the kitchen.

Two minutes later, Smadar was back.

"Two cups of black coffee," she announced, sternly. "Which one of you wanted the clean cup?"


Submit Your Comment:

  • Display my name?

  • Your email address is kept private. Our editor needs it in case we have a question about your comment.

  • * required field 2000
Submit Comment

Receive Weekly Jewlarious Emails

Sign up to our Jewlarious Jewsletter.

Our privacy policy