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Moishe's Hamster

Little Moishie Shiffman had been begging his mother for months to get a pet hamster. After promising that he would take care of it, Moishie's mother finally relented. And sure enough, it ended up being Mom's responsibility.

One evening, exasperated, Mrs. Shiffman asked Moishie, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?"

After a moment, Moishie replied quizzically, "Once?"

Berel and Shmerel at the Bank

Berel and Shmerel are neighbors. Not exactly friends but not enemies either. "Frenemies" they would say.

One day, Berel and Shmerel are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in.

While one of the robbers takes the money from the tellers, the other lines the customers, including Berel and Shmerel, up against a wall, and proceeds to take their wallets, watches, etc.

While this is going on Berel jams something in Shmerel's hand. Without looking down, Shmerel whispers, "What is this?"

To which Berel replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."

Your Cantor is So Religious...

A group of teenagers were telling jokes after the teen minyan at Beth Israel congregation and when Rabbi Solomon walked by, he didn’t like what he heard.

“Boys,” said Rabbi Solomon, “Do you think those jokes are appropriate?”

“What?” said David, one of the boys, “You don’t like ‘you’re momma is so fat’ jokes?”

“No I don’t,” replied Rabbi Solomon. “How about this one instead,” offered Rabbi Solomon. “Cantor Nixon – you know how religious he is?”

“How religious is he?” the boys jumped in.

“Your Cantor is so religious, he can’t even carry a tune!”

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