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Car Wash for Kids Trip

The shul youth group was trying to raise money to travel to a special Shabbaton so they decided to put on a charity car wash.

They made a large sign that read:

CAR WASH FOR KIDS TRIP

On the scheduled Sunday, business was very good. But, by two o'clock the sky clouded, the rain poured, and there were hardly any customers. Finally, one of the kids had an idea.

He printed a very large poster with the words:

WE WASH. GOD RINSES. (Next to the words was an arrow pointing skyward.)

They made enough money for Shabbatons for the next few years!

Mrs. Shpeilman & the Atheist

Little old Mrs. Shpeilman had an interesting daily ritual. Each morning, she stepped onto her front porch, raised her arms to the sky, and shouted: "OY, THANK YOU GOD!"

One day an atheist moved into the house next door. He became irritated at the little old lady. Every morning he'd step onto his front porch after her and yell: "THERE IS NO GOD!"

Time passed with the two of them carrying on this way every day.

One morning, in the middle of winter, Mrs. Shpeilman stepped onto her front porch and shouted: "OY, GOD! I HAVE NO FOOD. I AM STARVING, PLEASE HELP ME!"

The next morning Mrs. Shpeilman stepped out onto her porch and there were two huge bags of groceries sitting there.

"IT’S A MIRACLE! THANK YOU GOD!" she cried out. "YOU HAVE PROVIDED GROCERIES FOR ME!"

The atheist neighbor jumped out of the hedges and shouted: "THERE IS NO GOD! I BOUGHT THOSE GROCERIES!!"

Little Mrs. Shpeilman threw her arms into the air and shouted: "OY, THANK YOU GOD! YOU HAVE PROVIDED ME WITH GROCERIES AND MADE THIS SCHMENDRIK PAY FOR THEM!"

State Your Name

After the first day leaving my 3 years old daughter Malka with a babysitter I hurried home to find out how the day went. The babysitter met me, laughing hysterically. She told me about a conversation she had with Malka.

“Malka, do you know you whole name – first, middle and last name?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Why don't you tell me, Malka?”

“Well it changes. Sometimes it’s Malka Bubele Mamele, and sometimes Malka Mamele Bubele.”

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