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Smooth Operator

Four surgeons at Jerusalem’s Hadassah hospital are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. Dr. Hadari says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

Dr. Levi responds, "You should try electricians! Everything inside them is color-coded."

Dr. Rosenberg says, "No, I really think file clerks are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

But Dr. Meidan shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, and no spine, and the head and tail are interchangeable."

Forget Me Not

Three older ladies at the Boca Vista retirement complex were talking about the challenges of getting older. Chaya Shulman said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a corned beef sandwich."

Rivkah Alterman chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember if I was on my way up or on my way down."

Sarah Shpeilman said, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "That must be the door – I'll get it!"

Dinner Talk

Moishe and Miriam were out for dinner. Moishe seemed a little distracted so she turned to him and said, “Moishe! You are not listening to a word that I am saying, are you?

Moishe, somewhat offended, said, “Miriam, that’s an odd way to start a conversation.”

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