An army unit in the Israel Defense Force finished some training exercises and had a little down time before boarding their bus back to their army base. Just for fun, the soldiers lined up in formation with their helmets on backward.
The commanding officer was indignant at this breach of military decorum and dressed down the soldier in charge of his unit, "Private Goldberg! I want to see those helmets facing front immediately!"
Private Goldberg was unshaken. He called his group to attention, then commanded crisply, "About face!"
Life in the Fast Lane
Miriam Epstein was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 year old son, precocious little Moishie.
She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her. Surprised at the speed of traffic, she looked at her speedometer and noticed that she was doing 10 miles over the speed limit.
She moved to the slow lane and then looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car.
As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"
Little Moishie piped up from the back seat, "I do! Because you couldn't catch the other cars!"
David Rosenberg, a collector of rare Jewish books ran into an old acquaintance named Chaim Yankel who told him he had just thrown away an old Hebrew Bible that he found in a dusty, old box.
"You threw it out?! You can’t do that!” scolded the collector. “Just how old?"
"Really old!" answered Chaim Yankel. “Like, really old. I mean, it could be a thousand years old, who knows?”
“First of all, you can’t throw away a Chumash, it’s sacred!” said the furious collector. “Second, an old Chumash could be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars to the right collector. What have you done?!"
"Oh, don’t worry I don't think this book would have been worth anything close to that much," replied Chaim Yankel. "There’s Hebrew notes scribbled all over in the margins.” Alarmed the collector asked, “’Scribbles’? Any idea who the author was?” “My Hebrew’s not that great but it looks like somebody named ‘RASHI.’”