It’s a Deal
Moishe needs a new suit for a forthcoming family bar mitzvah, so he decides to visit his friend's shop, "ISAAC'S MENSWEAR," to see what he can get, quality and price wise.
"Hi Moishe," says Isaac when he sees his friend in his shop. "Nice to see you in here at last. You're now inside the best menswear shop in London. There's no bargaining shbargaining in here!"
"I'm glad to hear it," says Moishe. "I hate all that bartering that often goes on."
"OK. So what can I show you?" asks Isaac. "What are you looking for?"
"I'm looking to buy a suit for my nephew's bar mitzvah," replies Moishe.
"Then I've got the very suit for you," says Isaac. "I'll go get it and show it to you."
Isaac soon comes back with a smart looking navy suit on a hanger and shows it to Moishe.
"Yes," says Moishe, "that's exactly what I'm looking for. So how much is it?"
"Well," replies Isaac, "For this suit, I'm not asking for $500, not $420, and not even $415. For this lovely smart suit, I'm asking for $410."
"It's a pleasure to be inside my friends shop," says Moishe, "so I'm not going to insult you and offer you $230, or $250, or even $260. For this suit I'll give you $270."
"OK Moishe," says Isaac, "it's yours for $290."
"It's a metsieh (a deal)," says Moishe. "So wrap it up already – I'll take it."
Sadie had a little bit of a weight problem. Okay, a lot of a weight problem. “Hadassah,” said Sadie to her best friend, “it was terrible what happened yesterday after the birthday party. You know how half of the birthday cake was left over? Well, I knew Moishe would be fuming at me for eating it, with my diet and all, but I couldn’t help myself, it started with just a small nibble and before I knew it the whole cake was gone!”
“Oh my!” clucked Hadassah, “was Moishe really upset?”
“He never found it,” smiled Sadie, “I just baked another cake and ate half of it!”
Shmuel Rosenberg is a mashgiach, a kosher supervisor at a busy kosher restaurant. One of his jobs is to wash fruits and vegetables to insure that they are insect free. One day the owner of the restaurant, David, comes into the kitchen to check on Shmuel who is hard at work washing lettuce.
David notices something green in Shmuel’s hair. David pulls it out and – it’s a piece of lettuce.
“Whoa, is there anything else in there?” David says jokingly.
“Oh no,” Shmuel smiles. “That was just the tip of the Iceberg!”