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Coughing it Up

A father and his ten-year-old son are walking the streets of New York City. The kid is spinning a 25-cent piece in the air and catching it between his teeth. As they are walking someone bumps into the boy at just the wrong moment and the coin goes straight into his mouth and lodges in his throat.

He immediately starts choking and going blue in the face and Dad starts panicking, shouting and screaming for help.

A middle-aged Jewish man in a black suit and white shirt wearing a yarmulke is sitting on a bench reading his newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion he looks up, puts his coffee cup down, neatly folds his newspaper, gets up from his seat and makes his unhurried way across the street. Reaching the boy (who is still standing, but only just) the man takes hold of the kid and squeezes gently but firmly. After a few seconds the boy coughs up the quarter, which the man catches in his free hand.

The man then walks back to his seat, picks up his coffee and newspaper without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son was fine, the father rushes over to the man and starts effusively thanking him.

The man looks embarrassed and brushes off the thanks.

As he's about to leave, the father asks one last question. "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before - it was fantastic - what are you, a surgeon or something like that?"

"No" the man replies, "I work in Jewish fundraising, getting people to cough it up is my business."

Ride of her Life

Shoshana Epstein just received her learner's permit offered to drive her parents to shul for the Shiffman bris. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination.

Mrs. Epstein got out of the car and said, "Thank you!"

"Anytime," Shoshana replied.

As her mother slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God."

Seeing is Believing

Yossi Rosen, a full time yeshiva student, noticed that his eyes were starting to give him some trouble – no doubt staring at the small Talmud print all day wasn’t helping. So Yossi decided to visit an ophthalmologist.

The doctor showed Yossi the eye chart, displaying the letters ICNRDTHT.

"Can you read that?" the doctor asked.

"Sure," Yossi replied. "It says ‘I can read that’”.

“Wait, what?” the Doctor said, confused for a moment and then smiled, “Ah…I think someone has been spending too much time staring at Talmud pages with no vowels!”

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