It’s All About Chemistry
Mr. Rosenberg was a popular science teacher at King David High School because he encouraged his students to experiment on their own. But sometimes, his students took this leeway a little too far.
For example, one day Sammy Singer wanted to make some potassium hydroxide solution and he decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.
Out of the corner of his eye, Mr. Rosenberg observed what Sammy was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, Mr. Rosenberg said, “First stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.”
“Why?” asked Sammy
"Well,” replied Mr. Rosenberg, “It will give me time to get away!"
Moishe and Miriam were sitting down together for a quiet Shabbos dinner, just the two of them. Miriam decided to make Moishe’s favorite – brisket. Moishe was in seventh heaven.
"What did you marinate this in?" Moishe asked. Miriam immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loved him and how life wouldn't be the same without him.
Moishe’s puzzled expression gave Miriam pause, so she asked, "What did you ask me?"
Miriam chuckled at Moishe’s answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!"
As she left the room, Moishe called out, "Well, would you marry me again?"
Without hesitation, Miriam replied, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."
A Big Pain
“Oy!” groaned old Marvin Himmelfarb. “I must have appendicitis,” he said as he clutched his left side.
“It can’t be appendicitis,” said his wife Myra confidently.
“How do you know?” asked Marvin. “You are a doctor all of a sudden?”
“I’m not a doctor but I do know that your appendix is on the right side of your body.”
"Aha!” said Marvin. “THAT's why it hurts so much. My appendix is on the wrong side!"