I’m a Zadie!
Mendy and Mushkie were Chabad emissaries in Okinawa, Japan, and they were expecting their first baby. When the good news came, they called their parents immediately. Mendy’s father Avraham went to shul that morning with a broad smile on his face.
"I get a mazal tov!" Avraham declared. "I’m a Zadie! Baby boy weighs eight pounds!"
"Mazal tov! When was he born?" someone asked.
Recalling the date Avraham’s son told him, he stopped and looked at the calendar on his phone and said in amazement, "Tomorrow!"
Bubbies on a Bench
Shirley and Sadie, two elderly ladies in a senior’s residence in Miami were enjoying the sunshine on a bench outside their residence. This was their daily ritual on every sunny day for the past 9 years, chatting and enjoying each other's friendship.
One day Shirley turned to Sadie and said, "Please don't be angry with me, bubbaleh, but I am embarrassed after all these years. What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."
Sadie stared at her, looking very distressed, said nothing for two full minutes, and finally said, "How soon do you have to know?"
Turning up the Heat
Moishe and Miriam purchased an old home in New York from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and Miriam was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" Moishe confidently declared.
One December night the temperature plunged, and Moishe and Miriam woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. Moishe called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, Moishe hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."