Miriam Feinstein decided to take up meditating and she was always preaching its benefits to her husband Moishe. That’s why when he suddenly started asking some questions about it, seemingly expressing interest, she got excited that they could share this experience together.
"You don't have to close your eyes, Moishe," Miriam explained. "You can keep them open and focus on something like a candle or a spot in front of you."
Moishe nodded thoughtfully. "Could it be a TV?"
Painting for the Poor
A fundraiser approached the palatial home of a wealthy Jew named Steinberg and knocked gently on the door. When Mr. Steinberg answered, the fundraiser asked, "Please, sir, I am collecting money for the poor, could you please spare a donation?"
Mr. Steinberg said, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I never give anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will make a considerable donation."
So the fundraiser went around back and a little later he again knocked on the door. Mr. Steinberg said, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. I’ll write you a check."
The fundraiser said, "Thank you very much, Mr. Steinberg. But there is something that I think you should know. It's not a Porch, it's a BMW."
Somewhere Out There
Little Moishie Romberg was spending the weekend with his Bubbie and Zadie. On a walk with Bubbie, she noticed what looked like a bright star in the sky, so Bubbie explained that it was actually the planet Mars. Bubbie went on to provide a simplified explanation of the solar system suitable for her young grandson. Bubbie ended her explanation with, "We live on a planet called Earth."
After a long pause, Little Moishie asked, "What planet does Zadie live on?"