Jewish Jokes, Humor
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Precocious Little Moishie Goldberg was just starting fourth grade but went back to the third grade classroom for old time sake.

"Hello Moishie," said Mrs. Epstein, the third grade teacher.

"Hello Mrs. Epstein," he replied.

"How's fourth grade going?" she asked.

"To be honest, I miss you," said Moishie.

"That's sweet, Moishie, I miss you too," Mrs. Epstein said.

"You were a good teacher because you never had any favorites," Moishe said.

"Well I try to pride myself on my fairness," replied Mrs. Epstein.

"Exactly," Moishie said. "You were mean to everyone."

A Case of Mistaken Identity

Nathan works for the Post Office and his job is to process mail that has been posted with incomplete or illegible addresses. One day, Nathan comes across a letter addressed in shaky handwriting to Hashem with no actual address on the envelope. So Nathan opens the envelope and reads the letter inside:

Dear Hashem
Shalom. I'm a widow of 79 and all I have to live on is a small pension. Unfortunately, someone stole my purse yesterday with $110 inside and this was all the money I had left until my next pension payment. As you know, Yom Kippur is approaching, and I have some friends coming over for a break the fast dinner. Without money, I can't buy any food or drink. I don't even have any family to help me out. You, dear God, are my only hope. Please can you help me?
Yours Sincerely,

Nathan is very touched and shows the letter to all his work colleagues. When they read it, each one generously gives Nathan a few dollars to donate to Sadie. Very soon, his collection reaches $100 and the Post Office workers feel very proud (and so they should) to have been able to help an old lady in distress. Nathan puts the money carefully in an empty envelope together with a short anonymous note:

Dear Sadie
Here is some money to make up for the stolen money. Enjoy!

He then addresses it to Sadie and posts it.

Soon after Yom Kippur ended, Nathan comes across another letter addressed to Hashem. So he opens it. It reads:

Dear Hashem
Shalom. How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to put together a lovely meal for my friends. I told them of your wonderful gift and we had a super day thanks to you. By the way, there was $10 missing from the envelope – I only received $100. I think it might have been those shnorrers at the Post Office.

The Case of the Missing Pencils

Mrs. Rosenberg complained to her daughter's teacher that someone in school was taking her daughter's new pencils.

"That's terrible," replied the teacher. "I can buy her some extras."

“It’s not the money—it’s the 
principle,” Mrs. Rosenberg insisted.

"Oh my goodness," replied the teacher. "I heard that the board was cutting back on the principal's salary, but he's stealing pencils?!"

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