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Betting on Shmueli’s Bedding

The Rosenbaums were selling their house and Mrs. Rosenbaum made it crystal clear to all of her kids that the house had to be spic and span on days when real estate agents would be showing the house to prospective buyers.

Mrs. Rosenberg’s 15 year old son Shmueli was of particular concern to her. “Shmueli, if your room isn’t clean and your bed isn’t made on showing days, so help me, I promise you I will never cook you another dinner for the rest of your life!”

Sure enough, on showing days, Shmueli’s bed was made perfectly. Somewhat surprised, Mrs. Rosenberg went into his room one night and discovered his secret.

Shmueli was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.

Night Out

One Sunday morning, as Miriam was finishing washing the dishes from Shabbos, Moishe stepped up behind her. "You want to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, Miriam quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"

Moishe and Miriam had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of the night when Moishe finally confessed that his question hadn’t been directed towards Miriam. Instead, he was talking to the family dog, Nudnik, resting near Miriam’s feet on the kitchen floor.

Park It

Dave and Cyndi Epstein were on a trip to Israel and decided to rent a car so that they could drive around and see the sites. As Dave pulled into a crowded Tel Aviv parking lot, he asked a police officer standing there, "Excuse me officer, is it all right to park here?"

"No," said the cop. "Can't you see that No Parking sign?"

"What about all those other cars in there?" Dave asked.

The cop shrugged. "They didn't ask."

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