Clothes Make the Man
Miriam Feldman was shopping in the mall with her two children and a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye.
"Do you think Abba would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pajamas with matching robe.
"No way," four-year-old Moishie replied. "Abba would NEVER wear that!"
Passover was finally over and Rabbi Rosenberg was pooped. He needed a few days at home just to relax. But through his window he saw Mrs. Millman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he just didn't have the patience. So he said to his wife the Rebbetzin, "I'll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away."
An hour passed, then Rabbi Rosenberg tiptoed to the stair landing and listened ... not a sound. He was very pleased, so he called down loudly to his wife, "Well, My Dear, did you get rid of old Mrs. Yenta?"
Then Rabbi Rosenberg heard Mrs. Millman's voice and saw her staring at him, sitting with his wife in the living room. It seemed like a crisis moment.
The quick-thinking Rebbetzin answered, "Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Millman came by in the meantime, and I'm sure you'll be glad to speak with her."
Someone left his cell phone at Sam's Delicatessen, so Sam scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at "Bubbie" and pushed send. An older woman answered, and Sam told her what happened.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of it."
A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was "Bubbie"
"Shmuli," she said, "you left your cell phone at the delicatessen."