Walking Mr. Rosenbaum
Sheila Epstein was a nurse at the Maimonides home for the aged and one of her favorite patients was Mr. Irving Rosenbaum who was all of 104 years old. After taking him for an afternoon walk, Mr. Rosenbaum sat back down in his favorite chair and said, “That was great!”
“I’m so glad to hear it Mr. Rosenbaum,” said the nurse.
“I’ll tell you something Sheila,” said Mr. Rosenbaum with a smile. “I don’t feel a day over 100!"
Growing Old Gracefully
Rachel lived on the Upper West Side of Manhattan and was having lunch with a bunch of her friends, all in their thirties. Soon the conversation turned to the dismal prospect of our growing older.
"Well, judging by my mother," Rachel said, “there may be some benefits.”
“Really?” said her friend Sarah. “Name one!”
“Well over the years my mother’s hearing has improved. From a few thousand miles away she says that she can hear my biological clock ticking!”
The Beauty and the Beast
Moishe was sitting at the breakfast table one Sunday morning reading the newspaper. He had just read an article about a beautiful film star who had announced that she was going to marry a football player who was famous not only for his violent tendencies on and off the field, but also for his, how shall we say this, his lack of IQ.
Moishe turned to his wife Miriam and said, "I’ll never understand why the biggest schnooks get the most attractive wives."
Miriam replied, "Why thank you, darling!"