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December 28, 2008 11:36 AM
this is the best video you ever had
October 30, 2008 2:51 AM
Comment on Story of Anonymous 27/10/2008
I would like to point out that even in the event that the parents may see their children as "old-age insurance", the offspring need to have some sense of responsibility and some ability to cope with "adult reality" - paying bills, etc. - in order to effectively take care of them.
October 29, 2008 8:51 PM
answer to visitors comment # 3
Sorry your parents were not as warm hearted as they should of been, but to know you became an RN should have given them much Naches.
I believe your story, but I honestly feel your folks had a mental problem, which is an illness not much different than a physical problem, but harder to diagnose.
You need to get as close and as loving to your husband and children as possible, as this will over time heal your rage at your folks not being as kind to you as they should have been.
I wish you a most happy and healthy New Year,one filled with health, joy, prosperity and happiness.
And most important, thank G-d for giving you a husband and children you can nurture and love
October 29, 2008 2:21 PM
I find it hard to sympathize with the question. I am the mother of a teenager with Autism and another developmental disability . My husband and I are trying very hard to enable our child to be able to live on her own. We have discussed how to get her to able to have an apartment, what supports she will need. She
has many skills that we have worked on .At the same time, we are trying to not have our older children assume a lot of responsibility for her - especially after we are elderly or after we die.
We see parents enabling their children to NOT grow up- as if they own not just their children's problems but also their children's futures.
October 27, 2008 7:12 PM
My parents wanted me to fund their retirement
After paying my parents back with "rent" money for my nursing school education, I was most surprised at their strong arguments and cruel words about my wanting to get an apartment on my own....year: 1971. I finally went to work as a school nurse and lived in the infirmary on the college campus.
I married, had a family, and worked full-time until my father passed away from cancer. My mother moved into my husband's and my home.I found myself working fewer and fewer hours until finally my RN days were over. It was then I learned from my mother that she indeed meant it when she said that she did not want me to marry or have a family but to be a career woman and live at home, as she and my father wanted me to support them. Okay...genuine story...there may be others who feel pressured by their parents to do this. My parents also denied me any choice of career....I later learned...so that I could look after them in their old age. I did look after my mother until she passed away. My husband supported my doing so, as we have heard such awful reports from friends who had tried having their parents in nursing homes only to remove them and brought them into their homes for safety reasons.
October 25, 2008 10:01 PM
Today's society we want to shrug off responsibilities and have fun. The role models aren't people who mature and grow up but are adult-kids. peterpan and others are the role models.
May Hashem bless us with divine spirit and wisdom to grow up and accept responsibilities and be "Mature".
October 25, 2008 6:52 PM
comfort and enabling
Some people find it difficult to grow up because it is more comfortable staying where they are as when they were children, depending on how long they've been enabled by their parents....There are two kinds of people who still live with their parents: 1) "Freeloaders", 2) Those maintaining upkeep of the household performing any grunt work and chores as needed with a goal in mind to move out when the time is right economically.
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