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Jtube: Crossing Delancey

Jtube: Crossing Delancey

Is using a shadchan (matchmaker) outdated?

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Published: February 4, 2012

Is using a shadchan (matchmaker) outdated?

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Visitor Comments: 10

(7) David, February 13, 2012 12:11 AM

Not sure

To be honest I had one experience with a Shadchin and I was done. The shadchin called me and suggested a girl I was not interested in. She gave me a million reasons why it would work so I thought I should at least try. The date was a disaster from my perspective, but the girl wanted to go out again. I said no to the shadchin and she laid on the pressure. Reluctantly, I went out again and again did not enjoy myself. This time I stood my ground but not after the shadchin had some very choice words for me. The bottom line was the shadchin did not know me and I am guessing did not the girl. In the end I am happily married with children and I was set up with my wife through a mutual friend. Someone who knew both. Professional shadchins in my experience was not the way to go.

(6) Anonymous, February 10, 2012 6:03 AM

May our traditions last into eternity.

The dialog between the grandmother and grandaughter is wonderful. I notice even though there is a difference in thinking, there is no dissrespect to the elders. It is good for the younger woman to be watched over. It is a great show of love.

Ted, February 13, 2012 12:06 AM

Nice point

I think that is a very wonderful point that you saw in that clip.

(5) Barbara, February 7, 2012 3:29 PM

Joan Micklin Silver rules

"Crossing Delancy," "Hester Street" and "Chilly Scenes of Winter" are JMS's three great movies. They are all about the search for an honorable partner who will make life better and less lonely.

(4) Anonymous, February 7, 2012 5:49 AM

A matchmaker isn't outdated. To become a matchmaker when the person isn't asking you to be is supercilious. We are carrying ourselves that married life is better or superior to a single persons life. A single person who is aching to find someone who wants the help of a caring person willing to be a go-between, will ask for info on any singles that are available that we may know. This eliminates rejection and hurting the other person face to face the embarrassment. Narrows closer to a match find. Us married folks, and I know I'm not the only one, we shouldn't try to match up singles unless they ask us to. There is this urge when talking to singles, all the singles I know I could fix them up with flies through the mind. I know I have to control the urge unless I know the single is out there looking, then I went the next step in control and not mentioning anything unless they have asked for my help. This clip is showing when a person takes on trying to be a matchmaker when the single is perfectly happy being single and didn't ask for her help. We have to train our minds to let singles be singles and to be happy with their single life and what they are thankful for in their achievements being single and not take on the role of matchmaker unwanted by the singles. That's the hardest thing us married folks need to zip. There are plenty who ask, few who don't ask, for the few who wants to be single at present, is the challenge to not step in when we haven't been asked for our help in matchmaking.

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