Video: Jtube: Despicable Me

Torah Reading: Be'halot'cha

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Published: February 26, 2011

Do you have any regrets about not spending enough time with your kids when they were younger?

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Visitor Comments: 9

(7) nihi, March 11, 2011 5:49 AM

hey Akiva Teichtal, loose a little, sound like you got a lot of issues to solve, sound like angry there... love the film and yes , it is fine, we sometimes feel bad, because we didn't spend the right time with our kids, but at the end it is a mix of ingredients that help them to grow just fine .

(6) Ben, March 3, 2011 5:13 AM

Indeed

Society does not put much emphasis on family. It is a shame.

(5) miriam w. cohen, March 2, 2011 2:03 PM

love this

Sure, I wish I could have spent more positive time with my kids, but who knew that these years would go by so fast. But now that I see my kids with their children, I think I didn't do such a bad job, my kids are wonderful parents, and they must have gotten something from me, and their father too.

(4) Akiva Teichtal, March 1, 2011 11:41 PM

don't feel guilty

Attention to kids is importany but... 1) Kids should'nt be over-centralized. Loving them doesn't mean prancing around them constantly and adoring the earth they walk on. Not helathy for neither them nor us. 2) A kid should join his parent's world, not the opposite. The shared quality time should involve an activity that the parent enjoys (see the clip...). 3) Feeling gulity about our parenthood while not changing things is the worst we can do for them. Please stop feeling guilty, MGK. 4) For more parenting advice and to learn more about my "of parents & puppets" seminars & lectures you can email me at info@betzvi.com Akiva Teichtal Parenting Counsellor

shlomo, March 15, 2011 3:42 AM

wow

Akiva, albeit you seem to mean quite well, your message is quite demeaning and truly not anything I would ever have heard a "professional" convey! It is extremely important to set boundaries and create personal time as a parent, that goes the same for partners in a relationship! The whole point of having a child, aside reproducing, is to enjoy the life of that child and create an entirely new family structure! It is the same as if you are spending time with a dear friend, then you invite another person to join, the entire group changes. So should each individual. If you raise a child to only join an adult's world and learn to enjoy parental adult activities, you are stripping that child of everything it means to be a child. Your advise is terrible and I pray no one actually uses your services (Iactually was waiting for a punchline at the end of your comment to indicate it was satire!) You cater to parents who do not want to be parents and do not want to enjoy the rigors and blessings of childhood all over again through the eyes of your own babies and children. I am a 12 year licensed veteran in psychotherapy, social work field and children and family therapy. The first thing ANY good, educated counselor or therapist would tell you, is that they will not give you advice, but assist you in learning your own limits, beliefs and challenges and assist you in working through them, or determining if you truly even care to work through them. Parental Guidance versus telling parents how to make their children join an adult's world are two completely different approaches. I would hate to think you are capitalizing through an animated movie clip post, to frustrated and fatigued parents. When all they really need is some personal time and some self checks to recharge and enjoy a child's world once again. And for some advertorial grammar advice: if you are soliciting - try to spell properly, it really defeats your attempt to position yourself as an authority...

Sam Roth, March 27, 2011 8:54 AM

Professional?

I would have to agree with you Shlomo, except with your use of the word "professional" to describe Akiva. Just because he calls himself a "Parenting Counselor" does not make him a professional and after reading his post it is quite obvious he is not. I wish much luck to any parent that seeks his guidance and I would implore AISH to not allow self-promotion, especially that which advocates for such unhealthy behavior.

(3) Shaina, March 1, 2011 6:56 PM

bond with them now, influence them later

If you hope to have influence on your kids when they are grown, you need to spend as much time as possible with them when they are small, in order to create a strong foundation and bond. Remember, you signed up for this when you became a parent!! And if you think it's not easy, you're right. Being a parent and being a Jew is never about doing what's easy.

(2) Anonymous, March 1, 2011 5:02 PM

CUTE!!

this is one of the cutest videos I've seen! I wish I could have seen the WHOLE movie!

(1) MGK, February 27, 2011 5:58 PM

Never Enough!

My kids are still growing up, and I still feel guilty that I never spend enough time with them. I'm up before them, asleep after them, home before they come home, have dinner ready most days, eat dinner with them, talk to them, take them on outings, do projects with them, read their books and they read mine-so we can talk about them, listen to their complaints and try not to give too much advice,...I guess I'm just a Jewish Mom. And I have a Jewish Mom and you know what Jewish Moms are like, Travel Agents, they send us on Guilt Trips!

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