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August 27, 2005
August 30, 2005 12:00 AM
Thank you, Rabbi, for sharing that excellent teaching. You are so right; we assume so quickly and easily and, unless we are eventually able to communicate with that person and understand the situation from his paradigm, an otherwise wonderful friendship, working relationsip, family relationship, etc. can be all but destroyed.
And, as you point out, the key is to do so tactfully (my Dad defines "Tact" as "The language of strength") in order to allow the person to not feel defensive but instead feel comfortable with the approach and communication.
Thank you again for sharing.
August 28, 2005 12:00 AM
'HELP' not "DEMAND"
Dear Rabbi Berkowitz
An extremely brief comment about "conceiling HATRED" ----- Rather than "demand" an explanation from the person you feel you are at logger-heads
with, would it not be far more productive to ASK or APPEAL(without any hint of aggression/authority/hauteur---traits we Jews are sometimes said by
others to be over-endowed with) for 'HELP in understanding what may be upsetting or troubling our friendship?'
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Rabbi Yitzchak Berkovits is a leading expert on Mitzvot Bein Adam L’Chavero, the Torah’s wisdom regarding interpersonal relationships. He is dean of the Jerusalem Kollel and also the Center for Jewish Values.
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