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Why Not Intermarry?

Isn't it racist not to intermarry?

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Visitor Comments: 34

(33) David Kantor, April 21, 2017 11:00 AM

21 Years married to a non-Jew

The good news, after leaving by non-Jewish "wife" I found a married the perfect frum woman, made aliyah and now live in the Golan Heights and loving every minute. I've watched many couples marry (Jew to non-Jew) with expected results (typically). DON'T DO IT. My "marriage" came to and end in my mind when my "wife" came home one Sunday from church and matter of factly told me "you are going to hell.' The seed was dropped that lead me to another path. She wasn't angry, it was simply what she was being taught about the Jews. Fortunately we had no kids. Rabbi Akiva Tatz said it very well in that "oil and water don't mix." Anybody wants details of my "marriage" feel free to contact me ""

(32) jay draiman, October 11, 2008 10:29 PM

The deterioration of family values R2

The deterioration of family values R2 Since World War 2 when women were encouraged to join the work force en mass, to replace the men who went to war and keep the economy and the war effort going. There has been a trend where a mother was not home to take care of her children, monitor their behavior, help with the homework and discipline when and where necessary. The advancement in technology has harmed family values. The Media and Television has totally destroyed any comprehension of values in our society. The lack of discipline and total disregard for authority and respect is clear to anyone who has watched the past 50 years and seen our society’s values deteriorate. One example alone is that 50 years ago a teacher was happy to go to school to teach, a teacher was respected and looked up-to, a teacher could discipline. Today teachers fear for their lives they are petrified by their students. This scenario caries on to other social interactions of society today, and the situation is getting worse and worse every year. You will notice that many families who come from other countries have a very strong family values, good education, respect and the children excel in their studies. That is because they have not had the chance to be influenced by our society. The education of our children begins at home and continues in school – the parents and the school must take a proactive approach to teach our children values and respect. In today’s society a teacher is not permitted to discipline a student, the teachers will be sued, not to mention that teachers fears for their safety. Parents in today’s society are also restricted as to how to discipline their children, in many cases parents are getting sued. In many cases children would never dream of treating their parents with such disrespect 50 years ago. Today some parents are afraid of their own children. Abuse has been and will be with society to eternity that does not give society the right to prohibit discipline, a few acts of abuse should not cause society to prohibit proper discipline. When an individual or individuals utilize a vehicle to commit a crime cause the death of others, does society prohibit vehicles altogether, no, a vehicle is very important for our everyday life. Well, the discipline of our children by parents and teachers is extremely important for our society and the preservation of humanity. It seems that our society is so busy chasing the dollar, fame and glory, that anything goes all values goes out the window. We should be an example of honesty, integrity and respect to our children. Yehuda Draiman, Northridge, CA. PS Are Americans patriotic and proud enough to defend, protect and bring family values back to America? Is America ready to fight for honesty integrity and justice in our society, eliminate corruption and fraud, waste and self serving programs. Re-invigurate our economy and decrease our dependence on foreign economies and resources. Tell me and I will forget Show me and I may remember Involve me and I will understand. , Chinese Proverb. Protecting Family Values The family is the most basic unit of any society or nation. Without healthy, functioning families, a culture cannot survive. God created marriage as the unity of one man and one woman. This has been both the legal and traditional understanding of a marriage – literally – for millennia, since Eden. Sadly, many radical activist groups in the U.S. are attempting to twist the law to change the definition of marriage and the family to include same-sex "marriage," polygamy, polyamory, and other structures. These groups scoff at the idea that there is any fixed or known set of values or beliefs that is generally good for families or culture. We should fight against numerous attacks on marriage and family values, including efforts to: • Allow children unlimited access to pornography over the Internet in public libraries • Allow those engaging in homosexual behavior to have preference to adopt children and be foster parents • Allow those engaging in homosexual behavior to serve openly in the military • Expose children to explicit sex education materials contrary to parental approval • Deny parents the right to raise their children before God as they see fit

SG, November 26, 2011 9:07 PM

Mr. Draiman, You are correct in what you say!

Thank you Mr. Draiman. I have twice read your statement on the deterioration of family values and it's about the best one I've ever seen. I grew up in the 1950's when parents were PARENTS; teachers were TEACHERS; misbehavior had CONSEQUENCES and if you misbehaved at a friend's home, you were disciplined there and at home too because news of your actions got home before you did! Discipline is love and values are important to instill in children. I was spanked, not beaten, and knew the difference between right and wrong very early in life. My parents also paid attention to me, cared for me lovingly and instilled faith in God in me. They did without many times so I could have necessities - not luxuries mind you, but basics like good food and a warm bed. I KNEW my parents loved me and wanted to be good. It's appalling to me that many of today's parents do not teach good values. Children are being educated by TV and the internet more than parents & teachers. Many parents are too busy seeking their own wants and desires; it seems they have children simply because it's the accepted thing to do. If two people want children, they MUST also accept and embrace the responsibility this entails. We as Americans need to re-evaluate what we want for this country. Do we sit back and let this continue? Or do we stand up and be counted as people of honor, dignity, integrity and justice. More importantly, in light of the disgusting current culture, are we willing to stand strong and be good parents, faithful to God, and proud to let everyone we meet know that we believe in the sanctity of marriage and family values? Thank you again Mr. Draiman - This country needs more people like you. By the way, I'm a Christian who belongs to a church that respects and admires Jewish faith & values and maintains a friendly, resplectful relationship with the local Rabbanim and their congregations. God bless you always.

(31) Lila, September 15, 2008 6:10 PM


I understand where many come from where 2 Jews should get married in my instance I had been wanting to convert sense my junior year of high school it didn't make my parents happy but i went on my way learning all i can. Two years later I met my husband who is Jewish. We are happily married and I will soon start my conversion i/m so excited I always felt like I was actually Jewish born in a christian home. We are currently expecting a little one who will be taught Judaism from day one.

(30) Bonnie, September 9, 2008 8:11 AM

Our experience is a wonderful miracle.

Although my parents were not observant, I always knew that I was Jewish. My strong Jewish identity never faltered. There were 3 Jewish boys in my high school. In college, there were some but not too appealing for a variety of reasons. In addition, I didn't "look Jewish" so they weren't attracted to me. I fell in love with my high school sweetheart, a non-Jew who earlier had belonged to an evangelical church. After he met me, his friends tried to get him to "convert" me, however, he developed a strong belief, contrary to what he had been taught, that it was wrong to influence me. Over time, he began attending synagogue services with me. Following college, we married with a sincere agreement that our children would be Jewish. After we had been married for 14 years, he surprised me by saying that he wanted to convert to Judaism! He told me that Jewish values coincided with his own. That was a conversion for the right reasons (I had never asked him to do it.). We now have been happily married for over 40 years. My husband has taught (Jewish) religious school, been an advocate for and attended adult Jewish education (e.g., taken Hebrew classes, studied Jewish history, etc., and has steadfastly ensured that our children experienced a strong sense of Jewish identity. Both became b'nai mitzvot and were confirmed. Although I recall my father's warnings that an intermarriage could be unsuccessful, when we finally reached our decision, both of my parents and his, as well, embraced us, and the rest is history. A final thought: In our experience, the intermarried families we know (and they are many) often are the most religious and involved in Jewish community and synagogue life--in comparison to born-Jews. I sincerely feel that, although intermarriage should not be promoted, it should be accepted when it occurs, and families should be encouraged to maintain and keep strong their ties to Judaism as well as encourage outreach to non-Jewish spouses.

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