I am a 16-year-old with Asperger Syndrome (AS), a complex of autistic spectrum disorders living in Chevy Chase, Maryland in the United States. The most rewarding aspect of having AS is the strong sense of morality and honesty that is part of the deal, so to speak. However, on the negative side, the most frustrating aspect is the sense of social isolation that comes along with it. The community has supported me a great deal. However, there is a lot more that must and can be done.
For instance, the community should overall be more trusting of those with disabilities. For instance, it is wrong to assume that someone on the autism spectrum (or with any disability) cannot do anything simply because of the way God made them. Delving a bit more “beneath the iceberg” it is wrong to let buried prejudices and biases lead you to the conclusion that a Special Needs individual is incapable simply because he\she has Special Needs. In other words, the concept of b’tzelem elokhim (“All people are created in the image of God”), which is central to Jewish thought, is a vital outlet for Special Needs individuals.
This is the biggest mistake people have made in treating me and many others like me. Everyone can improve on this point: parents, teachers, even other kids.
On the positive side, however, many different people have made me feel trusted. For instance, my parents permit me to take long-distance train and bus trips alone to visit family. At my shul I have been permitted me to teach classes; give Divrei Torah etc.
Finally, three changes within the community I would like to see include:
1. Making a greater effort to include kids\ teens with Special Needs whenever possible.
2. Never assume that kids\teens can’t participate in a certain activity simply because they have Special Needs. If you are truly concerned about their ability to handle a certain situation, talk to them privately so as not to embarrass them.
3. Lastly and most importantly -- take kids\teens with AS and other Special Needs seriously. Listen to them. This will go a long way towards improving things for everyone!
Of course, it is not really so simple that these changes alone will improve everything for Special Needs individuals. But this is an extraordinary start! We must take these and similar approaches in improving life for Special Needs individuals and in our long-term struggle for B’tzelem Elokhim and Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World).
(40) Stephen Mendelsohn , October 12, 2009
BS"D I am an adult Aspie 47-years young (we're not all children!) and agree with the thrust of this essay, although I do wish we would all avoid the term "special needs." All people -- disabled or not -- are special in the eyes of G-d, and it would be good if the Jewish community avoided (more often than not unintentionally) patronizing language. One more change we need in our community is sensory accommodations. Most autistics (the self-advocacy community prefers "autistics" to "people with autism" in the same way we would say "Jews" instead of "people with Jewishness," and does not sharply distinguish between labels on the autism spectrum) have sensory hypersensitivities to sound, light, touch, smell, or taste. Even with earplugs, I am unable to share in the joy of Simchat Torah, Purim, or weddings because of the sensory overload. We need to have options for celebrating these joyous occasions in sensory-accomodative ways that include Jewish autistics. This would also help those with other disabilities (e.g., epilepsy) who have difficulty with certain kinds of lights and sounds. I have found two other articles on AS from a Jewish perspective. One is from Rabbi Yonasson Gershom, himself an Aspie who blogs under the handle Vulcan 613 on WrongPlanet.net. He talks about how the structure of halacha is beneficial for Jewish autistics (http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php?name=blogview&jid=4677) The other is by Elana Horwitz and originally appeared in Mishpacha and is reprinted in Spirit Magazine (http://www.spiritmag.org/v6n4/aspergers.html). Both articles show the positive side of AS, not just the disabilities. As the Talmud says (Brachot 58a), the mind of each is as different from that of the other, just as the face of each is different from that of the other. The world would be missing a lot without the gifts we autistics have to give, if all everyone else looked for is a "cure" to make us into neurotypicals.
(39) Anonymous , October 1, 2009
Great article Nathan
I am the mother of a son with AS and he is my pride and joy. I feel very privileged that G-d gave me such an amazing little soul to raise- and now he is a young man in college. Although AS gave him social difficulties, he is also a gifted young man with a beautiful view of the world. All children are blessings, and Nathan, I wish you much success!
(38) Naomi , September 28, 2009
Mom of 2 boys with ASD
THANK YOU! My sons have been welcomed by about 1/4 of our community & would enjoy services more if the word were out that all individuals with special needs want to belong...just like everyboy else. I'm sure you make your parents proud. :)
(37) Tanya , September 27, 2009
Well done !
Nathan, How brilliantly articulate and like another reader said, *straight from the heart to the heart¨and so very courageous. you have tackled a sensitive and important issue with a positive, embracing and inspiring approach and as such, compells us all to ¨dig deeper¨be more sensitive and embrace difference. AS or any other difference to majority stream, is an opportunity for us to grow, to be more understanding to deonstrate more patience, to extend more kindness, your maturity , wisdom and ability to articulate go beyond your sixteen years, Yaser Koach !!!
(36) Yossie Fried , September 24, 2009
"Words that come from the heart, enter into the heart"
Nathan: First I wish to congratulate you upon having the courage to speak out like you did! You imparted an invaluable lesson to us all not just for other kids/adults like yourself but for the OTHER people with whom you deal with on a constant basis- people who don't have AS. In truth, we ALL need to be educated about this and MANY other conditions that people may have. As someone who has worked with children who have AS for almost 10 years, I can tell you first hand that these children have a gift that noone else has. We just have to be willing to open our minds and hearts to them more to appreciate what they can offer us with. I would like to address what Vyacheslav Levovich said. AS, like any other condition, is a diagnosis that can be found in the DSMIV-TR and although like any other condition, it CAN be misdiagnosed, those who have been accurately diagnosed with it, HAVE it. There is no point in denying that it exists and it is foolish, in my opinion, to deny its existence because it IS out there and unless you can acknowledge this fact, you will not get anywhereand are just short changing yourself. Shana Tova Um'Suka!