| |||
|
|
Imagine the feeling of being trapped, all alone, late at night, and the only thing between you and a prowler is a glass door. Living alone was a real treat for me, after having been at the mercy of roommates who had crazy work schedules and were not the neatest people around. Now I could do as I pleased, stay up until anytime I wished, and no one could tell me what to do. On the other hand, the loneliness and silence was sometimes so saddening, that the only thing to drown it out would be blasting my favorite music. The neighbors never seemed to mind. One night, after finishing up some late errands, I noticed a strange man following me as I walked to my apartment. I began walking in circles to lose him, but he continued following me. So I mustered up all my courage, turned around and glared at him and snapped, "Are you following me?!" He looked at me with a puzzled expression, and quickly walked away. I went home and checked all the windows and doors. I noticed that the window outside my bedroom had been moved, but I didn't think too much of it. I went to bed thinking, What I would do if someone broke in? Would I stay inside or run out? Two hours later, my question was answered.
I woke up to a noise coming from the patio area right outside my bedroom. I had only been sleeping for about two hours, and in my exhausted, groggy state, I casually pulled aside the flimsy curtain on the glass door by my bed, to reveal a man standing there. My mind was racing. Who is that? What does he want? Are my locks strong enough? Should I take a photo of him? Pretend to sleep? Run outside? I was in a daze, unable to think clearly. I grabbed my cell phone, which was off, and I pressed the on button. With a flash of light and a sing-song greeting, my room was brightly illuminated and I was sure the burglar had heard the sound and knew I was right there. The fear in that moment was over-powering. I felt totally trapped, and at the mercy of some unknown menacing prowler who was just inches away from me. Even if I screamed now, no one could hear me. I have never before thought my life was in real danger. I have never felt so incredibly scared, terrified, completely engulfed in a state of fear. It was as if my entire existence was placed into the hands of some evil stranger, and there was nothing I could do about it. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking, but I managed to run out the other way and call the police and scream for help. Soon the police and neighbors were there with me, and we caught the guy. After they took him in, they told me to get dressed and come to make a statement. I looked down and suddenly realized my nightgown was little protection from the freezing cold January weather. It all suddenly hit me and I burst into tears. Running to Help After giving a statement to police and moving in with friends, I began to get over the shock and fright of what had happened. I started to think back to the morning preceding the incident. It was my only morning that week to sleep in, but I was woken up by a phone call from an old baby-sitting job. I had given up the job long before, but it seemed to keep coming back to me. The mother asked me to come and watch the kids, and rather than taking the opportunity to sleep a little longer, I ran to go and help her. Just when I was finishing up there, one of my best friends called and said she had cut her finger pretty badly and needed my help. So I took care of her baby while she went to get bandaged, and upon her return, I helped her with the cooking and cleaning she was unable to do. Then I gave away some designer clothing that had somehow crossed my path, to an organization that would give it away to needy people.
The next day, when a friend of mine heard about what happened with the burglar, she asked me incredulously, "How could this happen to you? After all the nice things you did that day, is this what you deserve?" Actually, I think it was my day that saved me from a much worse incident that night. In the end, I was harmed neither physically nor financially. Perhaps my break-in was "destined" to turn out differently. But precisely because of all my acts of kindness that day, I was able to turn the hands of fate and protect myself from harm. Twilight Zone? In the Torah, God tells Abraham that he is "above the stars" and beyond the power of "luck." Abraham and his descendants are able to change their fate, by changing their lives. The power of teshuva, a return or repentance, is that it can literally erase any bad decrees that may have been placed upon a person. Nothing is sealed. Our choices in each and every moment can create a new and promising future. In the story of Purim, the Jews were slated to be wiped out by Haman, and the decree was signed and sealed. But with the help of Esther and Mordechai, through prayers, fasting, and a lot of courage, the decree was annulled, and Haman ended up being the one who was wiped out. The beauty of the book of Esther is that God's name is never mentioned, but His miracles are present and apparent throughout. I feel the same in my life. When crazy "coincidences" used to happen to me, I would sing the little jingle from "The Twilight Zone." Now I strive to live entirely in "The God Zone." There are no coincidences -- just the divine hand of God, guiding me, protecting me, and sometimes even saving me from myself. For although we cannot change the past, it's always possible to change the future -- to create a new ending to the story. So when it's my day off, rather than sleeping late or lounging around, I gladly welcome phone calls with requests for acts of kindness. I can sleep some other time. Right now I have an important job to do - to create my future and change my fate.
Published: Sunday, July 31, 2005
If you would like to receive "Aish Weekly Update" or other features via e-mail, please enter you email address here:
|
|
If you would like to receive "Aish Weekly Update" or other features via e-mail, please enter you email address here:
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
This is one-dimensional thinking and hurtful to those who have suffered.
I'm thinking now of the family I know who recently lost numerous children to a fire in their home. Or a friend who suffered a miscarriage. Or another friend who lost his job. Did they not do sufficient acts of kindness that day that could have prevented the wrenching experiences they endured?
I don't think so. And shame on this writer for implying that those who suffer could have wiped out the "decree" if only they had been a mitzvah machine.
I'm stunned that Aish.com would print such a one-dimensional article. Yes, it's true that the Aish rabbis I've known teach us to daven for what we want, or to do a mitzvah in the merit of this or that. I've also heard, over and over, that the answer we get from The Almighty is often, "NO!"
Living in "The God Zone," as this writer puts it, does not mean living a life free of pain, conflict, or disappointment. Living in the "The God Zone" means living a life of Torah and mitzvahs, striving to see the divine in every moment of our precious lives, even when something happens that we may not have wished for.
We have no way of knowing what the Almighty has in store for us and what the ultimate purpose/lesson/reason is for what happens to us.
Our job as Jews is to run to do mitzvahs. Period. But I don't think those mitzvahs are a bargaining tool for what's to come.
What isn't a mitzvah is to cause pain with words.
By the way, regarding the writer's last paragraph, I'd like to suggest to anyone "concerned about creating her future and changing her fate," she should MAKE the phone calls regarding acts of kindness rather than sit around waiting for people to call her.
THE AUTHOR RESPONDS
Hi Sherri,
Thank you for your thoughts and ideas regarding my article. I agree with you on many points, and I understand what you are saying.
It was never in any way my intention to say that the reason people have bad things happen to them is due to the fact that they did not run to do more mitzvahs, and therefore they merited to have tragedies happen in their lives.
Matter of fact, I never intended to imply that I know for sure that what I did that day prevented a worse occurence that night. Only that in my humble opinion, I think it might have been that.
As a firm believer in the hand of G-d in all that happens to me and others, I know that all good and all bad comes from G-d Himself, and often times there is absolutely no explanation for any of it, nor will we understand it in this world. I am comfortable and accept that 100%.
I do know, however, that the more mitzvos and good deeds and thoughtful actions that I do in this world will always increase my chances of creating the best life for myself and those around me.
Does this mean that I think that if I pray and treat others well and do tons of mitzvos and care for people very well and try to follow Torah to the best of my ability, that nothing bad will ever happen to me? No. I know that whatever I need in life, G-d gives me - whether it seems good or bad at the time.
I merely am saying that sometimes my "fate" may be destined to go one way, perhaps due to things I have brought upon myself in my life, and then by changing my actions, my thoughts, my deeds, my behavior, I may be able to also change my fate. Maybe.
Kol tuv,
Ayelet
(2) raye 8/3/2005
Actions have a profound influence on Fate
There is an unseen magnetic force that makes a connection between people under certain circumstances. The strong
positive actions of a person can outweigh the negative intentions of an attacker.
(3) Andy 8/2/2005
further clarification wanted
"I know that whatever I need in life, G-d gives me - whether it seems good or bad at the time. "
How do you know this? You may believe the above statement? [I do as well] but that is not knowing.If you have solid evidence to support that statement please share it. The belief that our fate is at least partially in our hands and that future events are subject to our behavior is one thing but to imply that all get what they need/deserve and that the divine attributes of perfect din/justice and hessed/kindness are manifested and can be understood in this world,in my opinion reqires at minimum a big leap of faith if not blind faith. Thank you Sherri Lesteee for your right on comments. I agree with much of what you stated, and to the author for her attempt at clarification.
Ayelet davens 40 days for people via www.westernwallprayers.org