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The Shabbat Nap The body is on a natural 7-day cycle, and the nap can promote physical and emotional health by alleviating stress and boosting the immune system. Beyond this, it's actually a mitzvah to nap on Shabbat! In fact, it's not so unusual for the whole family to sleep a good hour or so after the Shabbat midday meal. It may not be possible if there are kids around with varied sleeping schedules, but if parents take turns, a Shabbat nap can usually be had by all. Keep this tradition in mind if you plan on doing any visiting in the afternoon. If your knocking on the door yields no reply, chances are the household is snoozing. Learning Just because it's a mitzvah to nap on Shabbat doesn't mean you should sleep this important day away. Many people make a point of learning Torah on Shabbat afternoon. Most communities organize lectures at shuls or homes. If yours does not, why not start it! Get some people together and ask a rabbi or teacher to give a talk on a specific subject -- perhaps the weekly Torah portion. Socializing This is a great time to connect with friends and family, to spend quality time with the people you care most about. Visit, go for a walk, get to the local park, read stories. Enjoy these last hours before the hectic pace of the weekday is upon you again. Mincha People tend to lead their lives in mountain-valley patterns. We work hard to achieve our goals. When the goal is achieved -- when it is all over -- we often experience a letdown, a drop in energy and excitement. If we are not careful, Shabbat could become just that -- an achievement that ends, followed by a "fall." Mincha usually begins approximately 40 minutes before sunset. Prior to the standing Amidah, the first part of next week's Torah portion is read. Yes, even before this Shabbat is over, we begin preparing for the next. Third Meal We began Shabbat with a meal, with the determination that the physical gifts of life -- food, silver, crystal, wine -- would be elevated to a higher level. Through our actions and words, we brought new meaning to things such as eating and drinking. Yet with the two previous meals, which are often elaborate and festive, it can sometimes be easy to get caught up in the tasty dishes and forget the higher purpose of Shabbat. Seudah Shelishit, the Third Meal, is by far the smallest of the meals, often just bread, salads, and perhaps gefilte fish. It is a simple reminder of what the meals of Shabbat were all about and what they have contributed to our personal development over Shabbat. We have stepped away from the complex and flash of weekday living and entered a space where we identify not just as a body, but as a soul. This simple meal becomes just as enjoyable as the sumptuous meal of Friday night, for we have retrained ourselves to get rid of the excess and have instead begun to focus on all that is important: family, friends, wisdom. It is the final meal. The sun is setting, and the cycle is complete. How To It is proper to eat three meals with bread on Shabbat: the Friday night meal, the Shabbat midday meal, and one meal toward the end of the day just prior to sunset, called Seudah Shelishit, or the Third Meal. 1. Try to leave room when eating lunch, so you'll have an appetite for the Third Meal. However, if eating bread is very difficult, then eating cake (the equivalent amount of a slice of bread), or even just fruit will do. 2. No kiddush is recited before this meal. 3. The Third Meal must be started before sunset, but can end well afterward. Grace After Meals should include the special paragraph regarding Shabbat, since the meal officially began during Shabbat. 4. It is common for shuls to have Third Meal available for people attending the Minchah-Maariv (afternoon-evening) service. The fare is usually quite simple, consisting of bread, fish, fruit, etc. 5. After finishing the meal, no food should be eaten until after the Havdalah ceremony. Songs for the Third Meal The mood is much more solemn now, and we turn to slower, more reflective songs. Mizmor Le-David Mizmor le-David. Gam ki eileich be'gei tzal'mavet A psalm of David. Even though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death, * * * Yedid Nefesh Yedid nefesh av ha-rachaman Hadur na'eh ziv ha-olam, Vatik yehemu na rachamecha, Higaleh na u fros chavivi alai, Beloved of my soul, merciful Father, Glorious One, most beautiful splendor of the world, Ancient One, let Your mercy be aroused Reveal Yourself and spread over me, beloved One, Maariv The evening service begins when Shabbat ends. Thus we begin the week with prayer, asking God for wisdom, light, health, understanding... all that is important in life. Shabbat may be over, but it is a new week and we are carrying forward the understanding and growth from Shabbat. And already we are preparing for the Shabbat to come. A special section is added to the Evening Service ("May the pleasantness...") toward the end, before Aleynu. This is said with the specific intention of instilling the holiness of Shabbat into the rest of the week. Reflections In the summer, Shabbat afternoon is l-o-n-g, especially with the kids, so a group of us got together to form "The Shabbat Club." It was originally five families, but grew to about 20 because it was such a hit. Every Shabbat afternoon families gather for Third Meal, hosted in someone's backyard. The location rotates, with everyone getting a turn to host throughout the summer. Food is light -- challah rolls, pita bread, salads, tuna fish, chopped egg, brownies. It really doesn't matter, because the main thing is that we're all together, and the kids play, and Shabbat is spent as a community. The person hosting gives a little talk on the Torah portion of the week, and the only other rule was that there should be beer -- nice on a hot summer's day. It really helps fill the day, and by the time you get home, the kids are wiped out, so it is just a matter of putting them to bed, curling up on the couch, and reading until the stars come out. * * * I try to be really creative at the Third Meal. I make up my own trays of egg salad, tuna, salads and healthful goodies they haven't seen all Shabbat. I want them to eat at this meal, because otherwise it's just lost, and they're hungry later that night, when they should already be asleep. Third Meal is a mitzvah, and sometimes it's hard to achieve, so we make it as much fun as possible, with one of the kids giving a Devar Torah instead of us. It makes them feel so important, and they come up with some wonderful ideas that are really very wise! * * * A friend of mine came up with something terrific -- Third Meal is for women only. We all leave our kids home with our husbands and gather together at someone's house for a light meal and lots of singing. It's so nice to be together, and I've met some wonderful women this way. Adapted from "Friday Night and Beyond" by Lori Palatnik (Jason Aronson Pub.) Published: Sunday, May 16, 2004
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Hello from Toronto....
Lori,
Thank you so much for writing such an outstanding article about Shabbat. I keep meaning to purchase your book about Shabbat, but this new website is just great.
I am going to use your list to help me with my shabbat preparations.
Thanks &
Shabbat Shalom,
Beth Carman.
Lori is the author of "Friday Night and Beyond—The Shabbat Experience Step-by-Step", published by Jason Aronson; "Remember My Soul", Leviathan Press, which explains the Jewish concepts of soul and the afterlife and a guide to anyone who has ever lost a loved one; and "Gossip—Ten Pathways to Eliminate It From Your Life and Transform Your Soul", Simcha Press, featured on "Dr. Laura" and FoxNews.com.