(1) Anonymous 5/1/2008 2:28:00 AM
BECOME MORE WELCOMING
MOST SYNAGOGUES DO NOT FEEL LIKE "HOME" AND IS USUALLY A BIG TURN OFF TO A SECULAR OR "SPIRITUAL", BUT UNRELIGIOUS JEW. PERHAPS WE CAN LEARN SOMETHING FROM OTHER PLACES OF WORSHIP, LIKE ASHRAMS AND BUDDHIST TEMPLES WHERE SO MANY OF OUR PEOPLE IN FACT DO FEEL COMFORTABLE. FRANKLY, IT IS NOT A TURN OFF ONLY TO THE SECULAR JEW--THE MAJORITY OF SYNAGOGUES IN LARGER CITIES ARE NOT PARTICULARLY WELCOMING TO ANYONE. THAT'S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT AND ACT UPON.


(2) Jaime 4/1/2008 11:05:00 PM
It's all about the kids!
I'm a college age student and the reason I've kept my Judaism, even in the middle of Utah where there are few Jews, is my involvement with youth programs.
Now most will say that there are a lot of youth programs out there. But do they all get the funding they need to survive?
I think another factor, especially with Jews my age, is that Judaism is looked at as something ancient.
Ah Moses! He lived a long time ago. Being actively Jewish? All of the active Jews I know are really old! It's over! It's done! Why be Jewish in this day and age?
We need to show our teens and college students why it's important to be Jewish now and that it wasn't created for prior generations.
Also send your kids on Taglit Birthright.


(3) Anonymous 3/24/2008 10:23:00 AM
Jewish Membership
If memberships weren't so HI, maybe more Jewish people would join and their children would understand better what being Jewish is all about.
Don't get me wrong, they do get a home Jewish education, but none outside... so they do feel different. I can go on and on and on...

(4) Jon 3/20/2008 6:32:00 PM
Say Good Riddance?
OK, I don't really mean that. We should do everything we can to encourage our people to take pride in their Jewish heritage and the Torah. However, why lose sleep over the loss of a person to Judaism if that person does not want to be Jewish? Perhaps we should be happy that we are "weeding out" weak or ineffective Jews. If disinterested Jews leave, the remaining Jews can be much more effective in being a "light unto the nations"


(5) L. Baum 3/17/2008 9:05:00 PM
Serious tzedakah money for Jewish education
Rabbi, all Jewish children need to go to Jewish day schools...this is possibly a way to continue the connection. I haven't done research on this but research must be out there that tells us the results of day school education. If we learn who we are, we will know who we are and continue in this way. Im not talking about 4 hours of Hebrew school a week....I mean at least a 3 hour day of Hebrew/Torah/ Judaics within the school day. Parents must know that a daily dose of Judaism is a must in order to keep our population steady...if not, here in America we will continue to be American Jews not Jewish Americans...What does the research say? Is education thru high school as impt. as the Jewish camp and Jewish social organizations such as NCSY or USY? I don't know...but personally, all 3 of our children had day school, Jewish overnight camp, USY, NCSY and summer trips with those organizations...Thank G-d they all know who they are and are married or socially involved only with invovled Jews. They are not isolated or prejudiced towards others..They just know where they belong...
Thank G-d my husband was able to pay for this without scholarships...where do all those parents without the money find the money to keep their children within the tribe? We must find those wealthy enough who want to give this form of tzedakah and push them towards this goal. In addition,the orthodox Jewish segment never really reached out to the marginal Jew until Chabad came. I was a marginal Jew with a very strong neshama wanting a connection..Chabad offered me education and brought me into the tribe which I didn't know existed. I had 6 hours of Hebrew school a week in the 1960's thru the age of 12 but nothing else....Again Baruch Hashem for the shliachs in Chabad.


(6) Barbara Gallegos 3/17/2008 9:47:00 AM
Some leaving some discovering
I heard your comment and I on the other hand am trying to learn and do the "ways" of Torah. I am of latin descent and am drawn to Torah. On my own since the 80's with out any instruction I have started my journey. So as some are exiting HASHEM is by His out stretched arm awaking others into HIS ways.


(7) Zahava Pasternak 3/16/2008 12:45:00 AM
Responding to Thomas Eby
Mr. Eby, you asked "Why is it necessary to be a Jew."

It is NOT necessary for a nonJew to become a Jew.

You typed that you are a Catholic and that you do NOT wish to see a Jew go astray or become Christian. May I ask if you are praying the prayer that your pope has called all Catholics to pray? You know - the prayer calls on believers to pray to G-d so that he "enlightens the heart of Jews" so that "they can know jesus."


(8) Anonymous 3/15/2008 7:36:00 PM
Keeping Jewsih
It is antisemitism that started whole families to try to assimilate. My family escaped to Holland and the head of the family said that now "they were not Jewish any more- no more persecution and hatred". That stuck right to America- until my generation found out the truth. And did we do anything about it- No!It was "hushed" in the family again.
Now some of us feel bad that we were raised non-Jewish.We have Jewish souls still. That light never went out.
Make it easy for us to show up at the Synagogue.Welcome us and give us a chance to learn and come back.


(9) Anonymous 3/15/2008 4:23:00 PM
Rabbi, I'm desperately trying to figure this out too...
Why do individuals who have had a firm upbringing in the Jewish faith seem to veer away from it? I wish I knew...Coming from a non-too observant military family who celebrated Chanukah and the High Holidays but never seemed to be stationed too close to a synagogue, I nevertheless always had very strong inner feelings of spirituality and Jewish identity. I read everything I could on Judaism, the Holocaust, Israel. When I married, though my husband was not Jewish, he did not have other religious ties and strongly agreed to participate in raising our children Jewishly which he did while spending many years studying and participating in Judaism. He actually taught religious school and 14 years later, converted to Judaism. Our children attended religious and Hebrew schools, became b'nai mitzvah, and went on to confirmation, the latter by their own personal choice. 20 years later, however, neither have no use for religion. One says religion has torn people apart--uses the the mid-east crisis as his example and has determined that Jews are not the "light unto the nations that they are supposed to be" and not entitled to all of the Promised Land, and that instead they should share it with the Palestinians (I'm delighted that he is a deep thinker and cares for others so much but not that this has taken him away from Judaism and that he can't see that this is not a religious issue but a political one). The other, not a deep thinker at all, simply has "no use for religion," but says she maintains the historical, and cultural identity even though she shows little sign of it. Now there is one grandchild with no Hebrew name, a circumcision taken place on the third day in the hospital with no ceremony. I am brokenhearted. As someone who cares so deeply for my Jewish heritage, religion, and history, I am not sure if there is anything else that I or my husband could have done differently in our children's formative years to change what is happening now. If that is so, then I wonder if there is anything that can be done for the future of Judaism...I hope so, given all the wonderful suggestions already given.


(10) Na'avah 3/14/2008 5:27:00 PM
Remove the divide and UNITE!
I feel that more Jews would be willing to flirt and return to Judaism if we weren't so divided as a nation. Let's find the basics and live by that and not condemn those that do more or less than you do. Just the basics ~ that's all that should be required for acceptance. We are far too small in number to be as divided as we are. UNITED AND WITH HASHEM, WE CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS... literally.
Blessings to you all. :)


(11) Allen 3/14/2008 2:59:00 PM
Increase inclusivity - decrease exclusivity
Rabbi Salomon,
I share your concern. I think our plight is fueled by the strict definition of who is Jewish and who is not. Strictly speaking, one must have a Jewish mother to identify (and self identify) as being a Jew. If we were to broaden the boundaries and accept into our fold, those who had at least one parent as Jewish (ie dad), then we would create the opportunity for dad's in mixed marriages to feel validated in sending a message to their children that they are, in fact, Jewish. Who knows, with God's help, these children may "catch" dad's disease and subsequently self-identify as Jewish. After that, who knows . . .maybe they will have a stronger foundation upon which to marry a Jewish woman, and raise a Jewish family - and the numbers might get better.
B'shalom, Allen


(12) Michael Deverett 3/14/2008 9:59:00 AM
All it takes is one Abraham
If every Jew prayed sincerely for G'd to grant us the wisdom and the means to unite us and the rest of the world, this would keep the Jewish people connected to Judaism, and would bring us closer to that day referred to in Zechariah 14:9.

On an individual basis, all it takes is one Abraham to be the beacon to light the way for our brothers and sisters to reconnect. Any one out there up to the task?


(13) Dr Jack Shiffman 3/13/2008 10:37:00 PM
Be proud of your Jewish heritage.
I feel that antisemitism and/or antizionism has caused Jews to turn their backs on their own heritage because of the villification of others. By hiding their roots they feel that they can meld into the fabric of the nation and be known as Americans only. They see the faults of their heritage through the eyes of others, not realizing that there is no other religion(or country) in this world that is faultless.
A Jew from childhood should be taught their heritage, stand up and be proud of who and what they are.



(14) Anonymous 3/13/2008 5:23:00 PM
keeping Jewish
Yakov- good question.. Keeping Jewish. I dont. It seems to be that some of my generation is out of step with our roots. A many fasceted problem too... Recently, I and my non Jewish wife met with the Rabbi in the new community we have retired to. I expressed interest in coming to a community(or specific family sedar) and to join discussion/Torah study groups. I also said that I wasnt very ritualistic , and was NEVER called ?.. My wife says: why would he want a non ritualistic member? In my mind, I've labeled it as reverse discrimination. I ask myself...why would he want a non ritualistic Jew( a tribal Jew at best) in his schul? Well, he was a conservative Rabbi too...but what I'm getting at is the badge of exclusive/exclusion that I find from my religious brothers(Im sure it works in the other direction too. This reverse discrimination seems to only be absorbed-countered by the Chabad crowd whilest the rest keep us out of their world.. Now more specifically... Ive dated many Jewish girls , been married 3 times but never to a Jewish girl-my mother took care of that..Bottom lines is : Islam focusses on Justice/revenge..Judaism : Our G-d is a G-d of Justice and mercy, the Christianity(in it's highest tempo) says it's all love...so there is a continuum of 3 known religions where we grow from Justice to Love..We are in the middle/muddled..balancing the other 2 two isssues..Middle-muddled medium Jewish man - just gets by..And finally, what is the purpose of our human existence ?. You have your own definition. Colored by your religious teachings as all religions program their disciples to mouth... but I think that purpose is to find G-d while in human form... and evolve beyond/graduate from here (the physical plane) this school where 99% fail anyway... and have to return but never figure out why,instead of coming back to our true home and NEVER coming here again n but instead ,into the arms of his divine love. Sure, if you dont think Im a nut case..write back. I moan over Israel's daily fate within herself and her arab neighbors. Very concerned.Is this a profile of a typical Jew? Hope you got a few laughs out of this letter.... Love, Mark


(15) thomas eby 3/13/2008 5:15:00 PM
Tradition & example
Rabbi Salomon, first I would like to pose this question: why is it necessary to be a Jew?

Having asked that question I would like to say that I feel your anguish as you seem to be a man committed to your faith and pray that other Jews will be the same.

I think it is in the way of tradition that all peoples hold firm to their religion. For it is in tradition that we are bound and in tradition that we hold fast. Without such tradition in Judaism there would be little to hold anyone. The Jews have had four thousand years of great tradition but it must be displayed not just talked about. The beautiful cceremonies and holy days are wonderful traditions. They should never be relegated to only those days but their influemce should be practiced every day.

This is what I mean about example. I know Cristian and non Christian friends alike that do not practice their faith every day but only on those days set aside for such things. That is not how tradition will survive.

We can go about our busy daily lives and forget what our faith is all about except on those special days and then we are so reverant. That is not enough.

Ask not what is a Jew but act it out in your daily life to be an example to all and the message will have a much better chance to be effective.

I am a Catholic man and I see this in our faith as well. But in those that live their faith you can see what it really means. This is truly the only way to show the way to all.

I have a great feeling for my brothers of the Jewish faith and it always has been so with me. I do not wish to see a Jew go astray or become Christian but to honor his glorious tradition and be proud of it.

Let us all act out in a way that the God of us all will bless us in our way.

Thomas Eby..........


(16) Gayle 3/13/2008 10:47:00 AM
Stop judging, stop hating
The way to keep our religion alive and vibrant is for fellow Jews not be ostrisized by others who think they are more holy, more religious, more kosher, etc!
Try loving our people as one and recognize that prayer and how we choose to pray is a very private deal between us and Hashem!
No one tells us what to do and say when we die and are going to meet the Almighty! Because we die alone, we also pray alone!
Stop telling people how to act, rather be kind and you can teach with example!
I was raised in a Jewish home where my dad was raised in a semi-shomar shabbat way and my mother had no religious rearing except what she saw her relatives do at a wedding, Bar mitzvah or such! Therefore, us girls never really learned the full essence of what it is to be a Jew!
I have seen through the years that when an act of chessed is done, that brings me closer to the person and therefore I want to be just like them, bringing me closer to Judaism, bringing me closer to Hashem!
I thank G-d everyday that I was born a Jew!
chag sameach everyone!



(17) Anonymous 3/13/2008 7:36:00 AM
do ur part thus being an example to the world
there is a girl who was compeeting for first place in a three point shoot out contest. the competition would take place friday night so they let her shoot at 2 in the afternoon. if she tied or won she would have to forfeit her chance to moveon in the compitition because the next compitition was taking place at about 615 (saturday) shabbat day. she an orthodox jew was disturbed that she didnt have a chance to compete but she never questioned her observance of shabbat. she was staying 45 min from where the compitition was taking place and it would not have been a big deal for the league to change it. Ultimately she found out after shabbos that she tied on Friday. the principal of our school made it a big deal that the state athletic department did not let her play due to religious observances - he is working on seeing that the policy is changed - so as not to teach a jew or any one that they can only go so far because of her religious observance. this insident was all over the press - front page headlines etc.
the inspiring part of the story is that churchs wrote to her and the school how much they have learned; they are disturbed that very few christian moms protest against athletics leagues that hold games and practices sunday mornings comprimising church attendance and here a teenage observant girl taught them the meaning of religion. reform shuls came to present her with gifts for also teaching them about what commitment and religion really mean.
this all happened because a religious teenage girl was keeping shabbos - without any question of comprimise. she inspired everyone who knows about it. if we continue to do our part in the religious process - making kidushei Hashem in our daily lives by keeping the halachot and living a torah lifestyle - around jews and most importantly in the work force we will be inspiring everyone to keep their religion. we need to do our part and then other will learn from us - the best way to teach others is through example. and thats wat we have to be!


(18) Ella Adler 3/13/2008 12:03:00 AM

Throughout the day, wherever I go, I quietly bless the Jewish people around me. I take mental note of the many acts of kindness I see performed by Jews of any denomination and show G-d that I truly care about his people. Our job is to pray and deeply care that all Jews come back to the torah way of life. When G-d sees how much pain we have for his lost children, he will take care of bringing them back. AISH is doing wonders. Continued Hatzlacha!


(19) Esther 3/12/2008 10:09:00 PM
Provide a free Jewish education for every Jewish child!
It's unbelievable that in this, the richest Jewish community the world has ever seen, the cost of Jewish day school is prohibitive, turning away all but the most committed Jews.

What if Jewish philanthropists, foundations, federations and synagogues pooled their resources and guaranteed a free, full-time Jewish education to every child who wanted one, K-12? Assimilation rates would plunge.

The Jewish Population Survey shows that children with a day school education are much, much less likely to intermarry than those without. Education fosters identification.


(20) Beverly Kurtin 3/12/2008 7:34:00 PM
Teach Tenach
Although there are no simple answers to the problem, we have to stop our kids from leaving Judaism right after they get their diplomas…err…bar/bat mitzvahs. They spend years being bored out of their minds learning how to pronounce a language, but are not taught the MEANING of those words. They might as well be parrots.

Also, we must teach Torah and prepare out kids to be able to answer the missionaries who find easy prey because they are not prepared to answer the false claims of Christianity. They are told that by accepting Jesus as their Messiah, they are "completing" their Judaism. What nonsense! But the kids and even many adults buy what the Christians peddle because they haven't the slightest idea of what tricks are being pulled on them.

Recently, I had to yank back two adults who had thought they were worshipping in a synagogue because they held their services on Friday night, had an Oneg Shabbat, and called the minister, rabbi.

The missionaries show them the passages that say that the purpose of blood was to make atonement for sin and since there was no Temple and no blood sacrifice, they had to accept the sacrifice of Jesus in order to be "saved." Nobody had ever shown them that what was being spoken about was the drinking of blood, not that a blood sacrifice had to be made to have sins forgiven.

The missionaries ignore the truth and lie like rugs and the tragedy is that they don't even know that they're lying.

In Deuteronomy 24:16 it clearly states that each man shall die for his own sins, yet the Christian lie that Jesus died for all spits in the face of Torah.

Also, the lie that Jesus, being a human being, could be a satisfactory sacrifice for anything is ludicrous! Human sacrifice was outlawed in Lev. 20:2! How DARE they suggest that human sacrifice is acceptable to HaShem? They say that he was part god and part man. Yeah…that's never been used before by anyone before. I'll just mention one other guy who was born on 25 December, taught at age 12, adored by three wise men, etc., etc., etc. How 'bout Horus, the Egyptian sun god in BCE 3000? There have been several others with the same story.

Am I saying that Christianity has plagiarized history for its own purposes? You BET I am, just as they have twisted Tenach to their own purposes. And one of their biggest aims is to convert each and every Jew so Jesus will come back and save the world.

Logic does not work with Christians as they fear if they turn their backs on Jesus they will go to a burning hell for eternity. Fine, let them be Christians, let them keep the Noahide laws (but they can't as they worship a false God). Just keep away from our children and stop lying to them, taking scripture out of context, and calling their places of worship synagogues and their preachers rabbi.

If we do not care enough to prepare our children to be Jews and bring up their children up to be Jews then we have nobody to blame but ourselves.

We have to be totally engaged in learning Tenach. We have to know what the missionaries say in order to steal our souls, it is entirely up to us: Learn or lose.



(21) anonymous 3/12/2008 5:31:00 PM
10 jews 10 different opinions
I have spent the last year reading a modern commentary on the Torah. While I found that it has really helped me to grow as a Jewish woman, I couldn't help but to come to the conclusion that there are no clear cut answers. There seems to be only opinions. I believe, rather simplistically, that people need and want answers and structure. I have
been to our local reform temple and find it is more of a social event that a religious experience. It seems as if what you are wearing or not wearing is more important than coming to hear the Rabbi's sermon.



(22) Anonymous 3/12/2008 4:16:00 PM
Welcoming a stranger is the way to keep people coming to shul
I totally agree with the comment about welcoming a stranger who appears to be standing apart. I was that person one year ago this Pesach and through a warm reception and welcoming hand I have become reconnected to my faith and have joined my local Chabad Center. It just takes a smile and a sincere welcome - we can all do that, can't we!


(23) Ady Hart 3/12/2008 2:17:00 PM
Formative years most important
Many Jewish homes in the States are not religious, nor even traditional. Delight in being Jewish must for these children come in from the outside. So what do we know: children love stories, and a pleasant melody helps us remember by repeating a message throughout life. It doen't go away. We need some talent out there to touch a child's heart through a story book and with it add a tune. A happy tune about what a 'plus' it is to be Jewish ... but not in a way that it antagonizes school friends - rather in a way that entices them and makes them feel good too. Hopefully as these children mature to study topics of interest - they will also delve into the joy of being Jewish. The water is shallow at the shore but deepens as one matures and dares venture further out.


(24) Anonymously Susan 3/12/2008 2:07:00 PM
Men men men women, men men men
It's very easy to be an observant Jew in America. Period. If you want to experience something that is difficult about being a Jew, experience being Jewish and not being observant. These men you are taking about may say they don't identify themselves as being Jewish men. But let me suggest that they are definitely Jews. And the fact is... that it is hard thing for them to shrug of their roots. If their wives, or the community of Jewish men nearby, would make a way back for them....I would guess 75% would return. I believe they would return because it is easier to be an observant Jew than not to be. A man must work very hard to try to fill up that empty space where his love of G-d should be. Usually, that very hard work ends in failure. Because there is no substitute for being observant. Not im money, or in position, or in your wife.

I'm a woman. I know how much a woman can influence a man. I know that how the woman goes....so goes the man.
Don't attack my views yet! If the men that you are speaking about Rabbi Salomom, are on their own, or with women who are Jewish but are not observant, the men will fall away into half-hearted Judaism. It happens all the time.
Intermarriage, speaking here of Jewish men and non-Jewish wives, is the severing of many Jewish men from their observance.
Do you know many Jewish men in an intermarriage who prepare and serve their children Shabbat dinner? Who light the Sabbath candles, or who observe the holidays? Or men who keep their homes Kosher without the support of their wives? Not many.
Is there a solution?
Family values while the man was growing up certainly play a part in the mans observance as an adult. But his support by a Jewish community during his University years will play an enormous role. Usually these are the years when he will meet his future wife. These are also the years when he will bond friendships with other men that will last a lifetime. These years are quite strong and influential. With support from a Jewish community during this time he might fare better in staying an observant Jew.




(25) Aura Slovin 3/12/2008 12:25:00 PM
Ways to 'bring them home'
Thank you Rabbi Salomon as always for an on-target and timely assessment of the "Vanishing Jew".
My suggestion is for each one of us to look around at work, at the gym, supermarket, library etc. for another 'not-yet-observant' Jewish individual and then shower them with warmth and kindness. Every one of us knows a non-observant Jewish person - even those dating or married to a gentile are still part of our family! Reach out and befriend them, make a Kiddush Hashem and show him that we are not elitist, we are just clueless on how to approach the average american Jewish man or woman on the street.
One of the most intriguing and fascinating parts of the film Inspired for me was when you Rabbi Saloman went to Times Square, approached secular Jews and asked them if they would be interested in learning a bit more about their heritage and relegion and to a man.......they all said YES!!!!! that blew me out of the water - the fact that they were interested (thirsting) for knowledge about what it means to be a Jew.
Not one individual stated, "Oh it's not for me, I'm happy living the secular life, not interested in this relegion stuff"
Every one of us must get more involved in reaching out - Now before Purim, invite a secular Jew to your Seudah - bring in SHalach Manos to those unaffiliated at work......you will see it will brighten their day and may even help ignite a spark from within!


(26) Anonymous 3/12/2008 12:05:00 PM
Judiasm is beautiful - people are not.
All I can think of as a part of the problem is that the shoe has moved to the other foot. Things appear to have changed from people rejecting Judaism to Judaism rejecting people. I genuinely hope my oversimplified opinion is not too far out of line.


(27) Anonymous 3/12/2008 10:52:00 AM
Ooh!! One more humble suggestion!!
Why not advertise the Partners program on Shalom TV? A lot of Jewish people are watching this new Jewish Cable Television Network - and most are not observant!!


(28) Anonymous 3/12/2008 10:52:00 AM
To Miriam:
Miriam,

I understand how lonely and lost it must feel to try so hard to find that friendly, kind, welcoming hand to reach out to you when you have done so much and yet no one responds to you. May I say, I am so sorry - you deserve better. However, Miriam, if this helps you in any way, please, let me share with you that I was where you were. I cried at shul on Simchat Torah outside my shul steps because I felt so "left out". Miriam, please, try to return once more to shul and this time, walk over to the Rabbi and introduce yourself and please, take a moment to explain how you are feeling, what you have experienced, and let him know that you need to feel welcome. Sometimes, as observant as we are, sometimes people get so lost in their own troubles and daily challenges, that they just forget to see outside of themselves. Miriam, if you are truly seeking that warm experience, please, try one more time and I will pray that this time someone reaches back!! Go ahead - and please post on this board what response you had. I attend a shul where everyone is welcoming and open to all new guests and members... so, these shuls do exist, Miriam... and there are many caring warm welcoming Jews out there... don't give up - the rewards are so incredible; trust me on this one - I was so much where you were!! -- from a Jewish friend who deeply cares!! May Hashem guide you to whatever you seek, Miriam!!


(29) investment analyst 3/12/2008 9:45:00 AM
Israel, Israel, Israel !!
Encourage all the Jews in America to live in Israel. I think the Jews in Israel probably all very strongly feel Jewish and identify themselves as Jews - even those who are not yet religious. That's a terrific foundation.
- We need to make aliyah more attractive and easy.
- Publish a shortish Dummies's or Idiot's guide to Aliyah and distribute it free or low cost to every Jew in the States.
- Lower Israeli taxes on business and income and make Israel a financially attractive place to do business. After all the Swiss, the Caymans and the Bahamas did this!
- Make Israel a financial services hub to rival London and New York. There's surely enough Jewish talent on Wall Street and London etc to create this. Doing these things would enable more 'western-style' jobs to be created that attract very well educated Jews. The rise in pay would in turn create more jobs as people spent more.
- We should be aiming to make it so that there is no need to work in America or England to get good very well paid work.
- Publicise the amazing achievements of Israel and Israelis.
- Publicise how Israel is the best place to raise children, holiday easily in incredible places, and discover amazing meaning and spirituality.
- Publicise how Israel is beautiful and the most dynamic exciting and history making land in the world
By the way, I'm not a Zionist – I have no affection for the modern State - but I am a realist. Israel works. It has probably been one of the most successful means of keeping people connected to a Jewish identity. And on that foundation we may with Hashem's help be able to build everything about how incredibly amazing, special and truly alive it is to be a Jew personally connected to Hashem.



(30) Anonymous 3/12/2008 8:34:00 AM
All Rabbis... may I humbly request your attention....
I attend a Modern Orthodox shul and our Rabbi always makes a point of sharing with our congregation the story of Avraham and how he always welcomed guests (his tent was open on 4 sides)!! Our Rabbi helps us to understand how vital it is to welcome all newcomers and guests each Shabbat!! In fact, our congregation is always looking for the ones who seem to stand alone, the ones who are standing in the back, and go over and introduce ourselves and just say hello!! If you are not already doing this at your shul, please understand the impact of this... is colossal!! I was once that newcomer!!


(31) Ari 3/12/2008 8:28:00 AM
Educate the youngsters
I grew-up in the reform movement.

I no-longer consider myself reform but rather a Jew. I am involved with recognised (orthodox) communities here now.

One thing that had a huge impact on my Jewish upbringing was the education I received at the Reform Jewish Nursery (pre-primary) School.

I admit that reform was not the best place for me to start but it was good.

Children need to be made aware that we are different, we have different rules to follow. Rules from Hashem not man made.

Turning our back on the less religious is the biggest mistake we can make.


(32) y ben y 3/12/2008 8:09:00 AM
it's really very simple
Hashem did not put the angels of Heaven to dwell on the earth...
So even if you are scrupulously keeping all the mitzvot, remember to not judge another Jew harshly, be as accepting of the situation of another,
even if you can not relate to level of observance or actions...
treat each Jew with love and empathy, because every Jew has a deeper spark, an innate feeling, and in most cases it can be reached not by being judgemental or condescending, but simply by demonstrating the beauty of the mitzvot. If we really want to save or return Jews we must look into ourselves, and the real reasons we do what we do, and say what we say - acceptance and validation of Jewish people each with a unique life path will bring Jews back to Judaism...


(33) Chaya Meyers 3/12/2008 8:07:00 AM
Help foster each Jew's relationship with G-d.
Teach and encourage Jews to develop their own personal relationship with
G-d by talking to G-d every day in their own words. When a Jew FEELS that
G-d is there and with him, his Jewishness has fertile soil to sprout.
This practice has been recently identified with Breslov, but, our greatest leaders (King David, Moses/Moshe Rabbenu etc.) excelled in it centuries before. Everyone needs a
listening ear. What ear is more caring
and able to help than God's?


(34) Anonymous 3/12/2008 7:59:00 AM
How to help "lost" Jews
I will have more to say on this challenging subject later but for now, I want to suggest something to Aish!! The many Jewish people out there who are not "observant" is partly due to the fact that they have no answers to many puzzling and sometimes troubling questions. The Aish Partners-in-Torah program is the antidote for this!! However, this program is not advertised to the general public - only to those who are reading the Aish website and are seeking such a program. My strong suggestion is that Partners begins to advertise (heavily). I would bet that many "lost" Jews would cautiously latch on to this program and begin to get their questions answered and thus become more observant - at least it would be a beginning. The "Partners" program is amazing and anyone reading this - if they are truly searching for answers - give it a try and see if this is medicine for your soul. What have you got to lose...it is a free program!! Bi'Ezret Hashem...


(35) K.Yedydyah Rosen 3/12/2008 7:58:00 AM
WE ARE ONE!
I read a few articles that were of great interest. One was about the "half Jews" as in those who have a Jemwish father but a gentile mother. I believe that Judaism have to embrace these people and make it easier for them to be taken in to the Jewish community. Then there are loads of "lost Jews" as in those who were adopted by non Jewish people for example. I know some Jews dispute the very existance of lost Jews but we do exist and im a living and walking proof of that. My grandmother was taken in as a fosterchild by a gentile family. They never legaly adopted her so she wasn't allowed to inherit with her "sibling" but she was given their last name and automaticly "Christianed" and lost her identity and became mentaly ill. There are some people within the Jewish community that now my situation and those people did everything to embrace me but i still had to officially convert before i was truly accepted. I was already circumcised and ready to but i still think i shouldnt have had to. All because of that i couldnt provide any documents that proved my grandmothers bloodline. I do not believe in actively searching for converts but i do believe we have to be more generous with who we accept as one of us. Mazel tov and a blessed Purim to everyone, shalom.
K.Yedydyah Rosen


(36) Eli Lasch 3/12/2008 7:34:00 AM
there is one answer
There exists only one answer: make Aliya. If the Jews would have come en Masse to Palestine before World War II Millions would have been saved: spiritually and physically. G-D has given us an opportunity and we did not use it. Let us not repeat this mistake.


(37) Jordan 3/12/2008 7:28:00 AM
Let people get in touch with their spirituality on their own terms.
It's really interesting - the other day when I was sitting down with my university friends, I was eating salad for dessert, and someone at the table asked me why I wasn't eating ice cream like the others. I replied in turn that it was a meat meal, and proceeded to explain the concept of kosher rules. He sarcastically replied by saying: "Well I guess you feel as though G-D will strike you down if you eat a spoonful of ice cream!" This right here I think is the crux of the problem.

Living in a predominantly Christian culture (even though it is formally a secular society), Jews and Non-Jews alike see the concept of religion as something you HAVE to observe, or there will be consequences - the concept of other religions dictates that you must atone for all of your sins in this life, and that those who are righteous will end up in heaven. On the other hand, the others will head to a more unfortunate place. And understandably, this turns people off. They would think to themselves; "why should I go through my whole life feeling guilty and serving others?"

The fact is that people who observe don't do it out of fear, but they do it out of love - and when they look inside at their spiritual side, they are excited to connect with it more often than not. A rabbi back home in Canada told me that everyone has differing levels of spiritual awareness - some require more spirituality to make them content, and some less. But the fact of the matter is, that we cannot see lack of spirituality amongst the jewish people as a "problem", that we must "solve" - that is the typical, North American self improvement way of looking at things - that we have the power to fix everything. Instead, people need to come to religion on their own terms, and with a positive view, rather than a negative one, of consequences to the Jewish people if they stop attending synagogue. At the end of the day, we need to ask people: "What makes you tick?" and "Why are you so motivated - what drives you to succeed and find love in this life?" They may give standard answers regarding a desire to lead a comfortable life, but I think that if you keep asking "why is that?", eventually you will get to a deep seeded Freudian reason for their dreams, that is in essence, their soul talking. In my opinion, the way to do it is to put people in situations where the material things go by the wayside, and all there is left to examine, is not the wares and baubles of others, but their own internal wares. Examples include synagogues holding meditation classes, taking nature/hiking trips and setting up bonfires, or the ultimate - encouraging people to go to Jerusalem whereby its nearly impossible not to connect with your spirit!

Thanks Rabbi for your podcasts, they are great.


(38) Anonymous 3/12/2008 6:44:00 AM
Aliya or Orthodoxy
There are only two options: Aliya or Orthodoxy. And this will only work for people not already lost.

To Rabbi Salomon's point - if you are want to take action, you should direct your outreach activity toward those you have a chance of touching. Don't waste sparce resources on those already gone.


(39) tova wald 3/12/2008 3:13:00 AM

1. Spread Aish.com to every corner of
the earth;
2. Greater participation of the
religious communities with rabbis
in "out-reach programs" i.e.:

a) Having meals together to
celebrate Shabbat, and Holidays;

b) Social and sport activities for
all ages;

c) Consultation with young couples
planning to marry

d) Weekends promoting Jewish
Religious Survival

3) Reach out to a fellow Jew and hug him to show you care!!


(40) Batya 3/12/2008 1:58:00 AM
Many Good Points
I applaud the thoughtful and creative ideas that everyone is coming up with. It is a wonderful thing to see a group of Jews coming together to brainstorm and try to solve this disturbing trend. I love the idea of having more community events and having regular, continuing things going on at local shuls. JCCs are also an important part of keeping the community together. Here is something that I have noticed that bothers me:
On any given Shabbat, we have the same basic "core" group that shows up for services. This is also the same group that sits on committees. The same group does most of the volunteering. But during the Days of Awe, the number of attendees swells so that the walls nearly burst. This is something I'm sure all of us have experienced. These Jews attend services only then. I never see them any other time. Yet, these very people will lament when their child marries someone of another faith or converts to another faith. But what have they given their children? Where is the spiritual inheritance these children deserve? Where is their love of Torah? All these children see is what their parents teach them: all year long they are secular, non-observant people who happen to have a Jewish last name. Then once a year they buy new clothes to go to an unfamiliar building to sit for 6 hours and hear prayers they do not understand. How can a child relate to that?? As G*d is our parent and taught us how to live by giving us Torah, so must Jewish parents pass on this gift to their own children. It is an amazing gift. But so many only see it as a once a year burden. That is heartbreaking. Perhaps synagogues could begin some programs for parents to show them how to keep their children Jewish. By the way...if once a year I went to a function and sat for hours and hours not understanding anything that was being said, I doubt I would feel any connection to whatever it was. Children are no different.


(41) Paul 3/12/2008 1:35:00 AM
Jewish Day School
If more Jewish children went to Jewish day school, we would have far more adults observing Judaism.


(42) Batya 3/12/2008 1:02:00 AM
First, for Miriam
I would first like to address a comment made by Miriam: "Our local Chabad, Conservative and Reform synagogues are filled with the non-Jewish spouses of Jews and converts. I doubt in 30 years their families will have any connection to Judaism."
I am trying very hard not to cry and not to commit loshon hara. I converted to Judasim. I AM A JEW. Judaism is in my heart and in my soul. A soul that HaShem Himself created. A soul that was present at the giving of the Laws. Nothing could ever make me abandon my brothers and sisters of our nation. Along my conversion I was questioned, I was threatened, I was condemned by some. I proudly stand as a Jew and in 30 years I will still stand proudly as a Jew. A man at my shul attended services for years. He was the non-Jewish husband of a Jewish wife. He raised their children with Torah and their Jewish heritage first and foremost. After 13 years he converted to Judaism. When HaShem calls, the faithful will answer. To assume that non-Jewish spouses and converts who are actively involved in the Jewish community and follow Torah will bring about the downfall of Judaism is abhorrant to me. And this is the second time I've responded to a post that in some way singles out converts. Please find your way back to a life of Torah. Realize that by considering a convert as different and not really a Jew is prohibited. Just because Judaism does not actively participate in prostlytizing, does not mean that it does not accept converts. Converts to Judasim have always been a part of our nation. From the very beginning. And on a lighter note, we increase the Jewish population. =)


(43) Zakiya 3/11/2008 11:19:00 PM
Marketing 101
I believe if we were to "market" Judaism the way Christians market Christianity we would keep people more involved. I agree with the comment on Jewish t.v. Community outreach is so important. Why isn't there a internationally known dynamic rabbi & wife who are as known as Creflo and Taffy Dollar? Joel Osment? Bishop TD Jakes? I'm not saying we have to "christianize" Judaism, but you have to sell the sizzle not the steak!

Mariam has a good point about how standoffish or inappropriate people act at shul. When you see a visitor at temple just say "hello", don't go into a big q & a about why are you here?, are you a convert? This type of questioning is such a turn off and very alienating.
FYI Mariam, I'm Jew by choice, just like Abraham and Sarah! I will lead by such a great example of my active love of Judaism that in 30 years my family will still be very jewish. The comment about jews and their non-jewish spouses and converts was way out of line and alienating. Perhaps people aren't friendly toward you because of the vibe you put out...


(44) Melissa 3/11/2008 10:41:00 PM
chosen for what?
I am a gentile women and it always breaks my heart to meet a Jew who has forsaken his heritage, when I so much want to be included. It's my understanding the Jewish people were not chosen because they were superior, but chosen to do a job. That job is to guard the Torah. It turned out to be a dangerous and not so glamorous job. The adversary has been trying to destroy the Torah ever since they received it. Millions of Jews have died for it. But death and persecution is not the most effective way to destroy Torah. Assimilation is. I wouldn't change a thing about Judaism. It's endured for thousands of years. Those who will assimilate will do so. Take comfort in knowing there is always a remnant among every generation. "Let everyone who is zealous for the Torah and who stands by the covenant follow after me! (1 Maccabees 2:27)


(45) Barbara 3/11/2008 9:40:00 PM
This I think you should not print
I am not Jewish, although I desperately wanted to be, and I am also very troubled about the indifference I have seen in the Jewish people. Religion is a way of relating to God but they don't know God so why would they bother with something that has no meaning? D'Varim 4:29 says that if you seek God with all your heart and with all your soul you will find him. If you don't do this it's like rding a wooden horse. The horse may be very beautiful and realistic but it is not going anywhere. In some of the Christian churches you find this too, they are attached to their religion but they have lost God. Those churches end up fading away or else they survive solely on emotional hype.

It seems ironic that I so much wanted to be Jewish and the people who actually are Jewish don't even care. The only ones that I have met who really seek after God are Jewish Christians. They don't have a critical drop out rate. And they seem to be more Jewish than the others, they don't eat things that are forbidden etc. Could you maybe talk to some of those people?


(46) Mike 3/11/2008 8:49:00 PM
Chabad has the right idea
Chabad does it right. When you drive to the Chabad house on a Friday evening you don't get a vibe like you shouldn't have done that. No one is pouncing on you to come back next weekend but stay at someone's home in the neighborhood overnight from Fri. to Saturday to avoid driving. Also, I went to Fri night services and asked to take home the prayer book. It was very user friendly with all kinds of explanations of the prayers. (a lubavitch publication). And what's more? The rabbi didn't get all awkward about me carrying that book out the door and home with me on the Sabbath. I know that Charedi Jews have a real problem with Chasidism. But The Chabad is all about inclusion and allowing unobservant Jews to at least be apart of the observant Jewish experience at some low level.
But most importantly of all. Jews who don't consider themselves religiously Jews DO NOT BELIEVE IN G-D. Full Stop. That's why so many move on to Buddhism. No matter how inviting you are you can't get someone to go to a shabbat service where ALL YOU ARE DOING IS PRAISING G-D FOR 90 MINS and expect him to come back. It just doesn't make sense to think gimmicks will change this. Even if orthodox jews (charedi or chasid) did all the prayers with the catchiest tunes possible (which they do not), it may not be enough.


(47) Hal 3/11/2008 8:21:00 PM
Look within
I must begin with an enormous thank you to Rabbi Salomon. The fact that he so sincerely solicits our suggestions makes me dare to hope that his enterprise is destined for success, with G-d's help. We don't have any more Jewish souls left we can afford to lose.

I have observed that in recent years, aish.com has been willing to publish painful commentary from people who have felt terribly wronged by the Jewish community. This holds up a mirror to ourselves into which we must, must look if we are to have any possibility of survival.

I have been with some Orthodox outreach programs from their inception, as they opened their doors to people like me, people with minimal religious education, but great secular education, groping our way towards some kind of observance. Once these organizations achieve a critical mass of ba'alim t'shuvah, the openness fades away rapidly, leaving us back on the street looking in at a group for whom 612 = 0 (i.e., anything less than 613 commandments is indistinguishable from idolatry).

I visited a friend one day at work. She is Modern Orthodox, and worked until recently at one of the country's major Orthodox outreach organizations. She was on the phone with a woman who, after years of alienation, was willing to drive 100 miles to attend an event at this organization. My friend was haranguing the caller, informing her that she "probably knows more about Buddhism than about Judaism". After checking a call on another line, she was surprised to find that the first caller had hung up – and she blamed the caller. If I had been the boss, I might well have fired her on the spot. This same friend has told me that I "have Christian values" because I'm vegetarian – while my own mother has described my Sabbath observance as "extreme".

When the general public turns to religion, it is seeking certain things to which the Jewish community pays lip service in general. People are seeking comfort, kindness, friendship, community, spiritual insight, strength, etc. I have experienced the spiritual benefits of dietary restrictions and Sabbath rest. Yet it seems that too many outreach organizations are too quick to kasher your kitchen and wrap you up in t'filin, and don't consider the far more consequential issues of derekh eretz (how we treat others), ahavath chesed (loving kindness), g'miluth chasadim (kind deeds), sh'mirath lashon (guarding our tongues), musar (character improvement). How much of Mish'neh Torah and Shul'chan Arukh are devoted to these subjects? And how many Jews have we lost through lashon hara (the evil tongue)?

Allow me to suggest some classics. Pereq Shirah (Perek Shirah – Chapter of Song) is an incredibly beautiful little book of Biblical poetry for those who appreciate nature. Pir'qei Avoth (Pirkei Avos – Chapters of the Fathers) is a dense little classic of character development. Derekh Hashem (The Way of G-d) is a deep mid-sized volume on the nature of G-d, man and the universe – perfect for those exploring the deep questions. Duties of the Heart is a challenging volume for real self-study and improvement. Why can't these books be the public face of Judaism more often?

As for those who claim aliyah is the best cure, you may have a point, although for the moment I prefer to live in a country whose government will protect me from terrorism and will not persecute its greatest patriots. Israel, sadly, is riven by its own divisions. Even as a traditional-conservadox Jew, I welcome the tentative steps towards re-establishing the Sanhedrin, which could heal some of the divisions among Ash'kenazim, S'far'dim and Miz'rachim, as to language, order of prayer, and custom. The Miz'rachim, who have lived continuously in the Middle East since the time of Abraham our father, are surely bemused at the spectacle of newly arrived Ash'kenazim from America informing them that Jewish law is far more extensive – and onerous – than they previously knew.

The Jewish community in Western civilization seems split in two parts. One are those who turn East European exilic custom into law, welcome stringency upon stringency and seem to turn observance nearly into a form of idolatry, G-d forbid. The majority have given up, deciding that as long as 612 = 0, what's the point of burdening myself with 612? Some of the latter, to be honest, are looking for excuses to assimilate, filled as they are with huge respect for every religion but their own.

In the absence of ghettos, it's up to us to welcome those who are trying to make a sincere effort. It is an absolute disgrace that every religion other than Judaism (and Islam) seems to do a better job of derekh eretz than our own. Derekh eretz has to be at the top of the agenda for any spiritual community that wants to survive.



(48) Roddy 3/11/2008 8:11:00 PM
Less back-biting
I recently started travelling around to several synagogues giving lectures about Israel. I was surprised to learn how little cooperation and how much competition exists between congregations, especially between different denominations. The Jewish community is more fragmented than ever, and is weaker for it. Historically, antisemitism has united the Jewish people. Today, antisemitism is on the rise. So why aren't we more united? Most people are shocked by the recent news stories I present. Perhaps the news isn't getting out effectively? Perhaps we need to work on our communications network?


(49) chavie 3/11/2008 7:06:00 PM
Happiness
We will only keep our children in the fold if we keep to " Ivdu Es Hashem Besimcha" with the emphasis on Simcha, or happiness. Having spoken to many teens at risk, it was the "hell, fire, and damnation" approach, together with the elitism, criticism, and ostracism that made them feel they don't belong, and never could match up.
If we really feel that every one is a "Tzelem Elokim" made in the image of G-d, then we would show them love and approval,no matter what!Orthodoxy is not fundamentalism. Leave that to the Taliban!!




(50) Anonymous 3/11/2008 6:32:00 PM
The National Jewish Day School Foundation
Pls send me your email address & I will be happy to send you our Power Point presentation for a newly formed Foundation focusing on The EXCEL (EXcellence in Classroom Education & Learning) Scholarship Fund.


(51) Jack Millman 3/11/2008 6:19:00 PM
It's the parents
It starts and ends with the parents.
First, I'd like to know how many of the 26% come from mixed marriages. That makes a difference.
Second, how many parents convince their children that Judaism is important to the parents; ie., make it part of their lives.
Finally, while parents make education a given how many make jewish education and jewish partners just as much a given. It makes me sad to see jewish parents who even try just drop their children off at religious school and even services and then just pick them up because they had more important things to do.
Thanks for your comments.


(52) Andrew 3/11/2008 5:26:00 PM
The youth
I recently turned 20 and see exactly what is going on. The fact is, our American Jewishness relies on bagels, lox and Woody Allen. People want to find meaning and the last place Jews look is Judaism. The key is to show truth as well as being universal. In other words, show them that they can be Jewish but it doesn't have to mean that they are better or superior, but just different. We have become so assimilated that look at ourselves as chosen can turn people off and make them feel that Judaism is taking them away form non Jewish friends and life that they are used to. AS Jews we have a specific job, which includes being a light a mong all nations. The things that have really worked in the past few years have been Chabad, Maimondes fellowship and Matisyahu. Especially MAtisyahu showing that is cool to be Jewish. There is no easy answer for this crisis but we need to stop seeing ourselves as just suffering but as living. Enough just speaking about teh holocaust and Israel and more about spirituality adn meaning and life which Aish has done incredibly.


(53) Tina 3/11/2008 4:47:00 PM
Rabbis should push & expect more of Jews
Why is it that young Jews are flocking to other groups e.g. Jews for Jesus etc?? It's because non-jews are good at proselitizing and pulling people in, in a very friendly manner and working together towards their goal. It makes the young people feel needed and part of something special, religiously.

Why don't our leaders-Rabbis,learn from this and be more forceful with our young. Bring our young together in groups, give them tasks, make it fun and interesting and work towards certain goals that our people will feel is benefiting others in our community and, especially, making our young feel wanted and needed by our Jewish community.


(54) Aron 3/11/2008 4:38:00 PM
MIRIAM, you've hit the nail on the head.
Miriam, I concur 100% with your observations! Believe me, you're NOT THE ONLY ONE to make that unfortunate assessment. And it's good to see that several others have also agreed with you. As for "feiv," his or her remark ("are you looking for a social club") is insensitive & despicable. We humans are social creatures. It is perfectly natural & appropriate, even traditional (e.g., a minyan requires 10 people), to expect--no, demand!--at least some degree of normal social acceptance at a synagogue. Or, for that matter, at any other Jewish group or institution. Just wondering, Miriam...are you by any chance from a working-class or lower-class background? My own experiences at several synagogues & related institutions is that many members are very full of themselves (among other things), & view themselves as oh-so-successful, & don't like to rub shoulders with folks they consider to be "losers," i.e., socio-economic inferiors. As for me, I've spent most of my life as a unionized working man. Consequently, my 3 kids all had a pretty rough time of it while attending Jewish schools. Each one of them experienced either social ostracism...or insults & abuse from classmates...or even discrimination by teachers--in the Jewish school. In the case of my son (who suffered the insults & abuse), the principal said the kid was a "social misfit...who will have the same troubles in any other school." Well, that turned out to be very wrong! In fact my son, after transferring to a local public school, enjoyed nothing but positive social experiences there, & also forged strong friendships that endure to this day, 20+ years later. Same with my other 2 children. So, ponder this...could it be possible that these experiences have resulted in the fact that all 3 of my kids have intermarried? What do you think? Miriam? Rabbi Salomon? Anyone?


(55) gwendoline lamb 3/11/2008 4:34:00 PM
What can we do?
The older Jewish community MUST show they care and demonstrate that Judaism LIVES by sitting down with all the family every Friday night to eat. The Rabbi should visit often families where there are teenagers likely to stray from the fold and there should be far more communities for Jewish youth in every synagogue..It is vital that young people must NOT be allowed to lose their IDENTITY...I totally agree!


(56) sy warsha 3/11/2008 4:16:00 PM
the future of Jews in the world
we have change the way we educate our people about the joys and beauty of the religion,we should make attempts to go out and convert the unaffiliated jew and gentile,the way the mormons do,we have to quite hidding our lite under a basket of fear.


(57) Anonymous 3/11/2008 4:02:00 PM
Jewish but not practicing
I feel totally Jewish but don't practice, though I cook for the holidays, invite the family etc. Have strong feelings re the Holocaust, etc.
Wasn't sent to Hebrew school but sent
my four children (now adults). My father converted to Judaism. Mom came from an Orthodox family, kept kosher.
I kept kosher for a short time on getting married. I do think it's important to have a Jewish education.
Carole


(58) Vittoria Hana 3/11/2008 3:54:00 PM
Committment to Judaism
I would like to start my comment by thanking you for having touch this problem. You are right; there is something wrong and this must be identifyied and corrected. Although I am a physician and scientist I will not use number in my comment; I rather share my experience and feelings. I serving one Medical School in the South-Est of the Country where there are several Jews most of whom do not define themselves as Jews. Most of them consider too difficult to be observant and do not understand how I can observe Shabat and kasherut here. It is true it is difficult in these geographical areas but I do not believe that this is the reason why they have decided to dismiss they religious identity. Somethimes I have the feeling that they are hiding because the voice of Judaism became too weak and the voice of the secular world is too strong. It is difficult to hear the weak voice.
When I was in Italy (where I was born) I was used to spend my Shabbat in Rome in the Jewish quarter where my husband was living. I understand now that leaving there was a protection even for those Jews who were not very much observant. It is so important for the Jews to stay together.
It is important that somebody helps the weak voice to be heard. That make the words stronger and clearer.
Sometimes I am asked questions about Judaism and I have noticed that misinterpretations are not uncommon. Being a woman I am asked over and over again why I do not feel offended by sitting in a separate place in the Synagogue and so on. Unfortunately, there is a lot of ignorance about Judaisms among the Jews. When questions are not answered properly children can lose interest, feel embarrassed and start looking towards something different, generally easier.
I do not believe that Orthodox Judaism is anthithetical to modern life. I do believe that the embarrassment comes from the lack of knowledge.
I have had a baby 4 months ago and since in the place where we live there is no Orthodox Sinagogue, I will do whatever I can to move to another university where my child will have a Jewish education.



(59) Anonymous 3/11/2008 3:48:00 PM

Sad commentary- but Jews were never in the majority and maybe that's the way it has to be. We should rely on the individual to want to be committed - this often happens later in life. 3 thousand years and we still exist despite holocausts, pogroms and intermarriage. Thanks for caring


(60) Anonymous 3/11/2008 3:45:00 PM
Too critical
I believe from speaking to a lot of people who either have gone off the derech or are still religious but have swayed in the past, that jews tend to be too critical over the minute details of judaism that are involved in the torah laws and how you are supposed to carry them out. Children are growing up in communities where they are shunned if they talk to a boy or if they decide to wear short sleeves etc. We're losing sight over the bigger picture, which is teach our children what the torah states, how to be a good jew and not get down on them for messing up here and there or choosing to carry out the halacha in a way that suits them best. Everyone is a human being and human beings make choices that aren't always right or the exact way everyone else thinks they should be, but if we believe that torah values are so important then we have to let our children choose the way that they will follow the torah (This, of course, has to be in a healthy way as well)
So when you ask the question of how do we keep the jewish people connected to judaism, I think the answer is teaching people how to be open, how to not judge people, because eventhough that is a torah concept, judaism has a whole lot of it. I think people need to go into communities where leaving judaism has become such a problem and teach these communities how to allow their children to express who they are within the torah context. I really think that although the idea of what I'm saying seems easy, I think jews all over are finding it very hard to let go of their ideas of what a jew should be and what they should act like and that's where we're losing a lot of jews.
Another issue is hypocricy. In our society we have a real big problem of actually carrying out what we preach. We live in a time where the rabbi who told you to be a good person is caught stealing. The same rabbi who tells you not to hang out or talk to boys or girls has been caught molesting children. I don't know how exactly to address this issue, because this has to do with each individual's character, but I think that instead of shying away and hiding what the rabbi or our fellow jew did wrong, I think we need to talk to our children about it and address the issue in the open, because if we don't, all they see is the hypocricy from the person who was supposed to teach them the right way.


(61) Rick Berman 3/11/2008 3:11:00 PM
Vanishing Jews & Support for Israel
Reform Synagogues should concentrate more on traditional standards and less on "Political Correctness" and "Social Reform". The Jewish people of this generation must realize that a large portion of the Christian community recognize their roots are in Judiasm and are,in many cases, more supportive of the State of Israel than many Jews, regardless of the reason for their support.


(62) Evelyn 3/11/2008 1:39:00 PM
Teach the difference between Judaism and other religiona
I am a non-Jew, a b'nei Noach, and as a former Christian, I had no idea that Judaism is the True G-d Given Way to live -- Derech Ha Torah! There is such a depth and beauty to Judaism that I don't believe any other religion has. I have interacted with 2 different Jewish men who were looking for meaning to life - one, the Christian missionaries got to and he's afraid to not believe in Jesus, afraid he'll go to hell if he goes back to Judaism. The other one said that Jews -- Rabbi's in particular, wouldn't accept him as he is. He attended Yeshiva in Yisroel and said they didn't accept him either, so he is wandering about, trying Mormonism, etc. looking for G-d. Perhaps, in Yeshivas, is the place to begin to teach them the wonderment of true Judaism - and also teach them about the missionaries of other religions. Tovia Singer has a great program for this in 'Outreach Judaism.' It helped me understand so many things, and to make the transition from Christianity to living the Torah-filled life.
I think Yoheved's comments are very good also!


(63) Anonymous 3/11/2008 1:24:00 PM
Tolerate, Become Inclusive, Make Being a Good Jew Achievable
1. The concept of "chosenness" is antithetical to modern young people and creates embarrassment in its concept of superiority.

2. We exclude non-Jews from participation and for young people the most important people are other young people, most of whom are not Jewish.

3. There is never "enough" or "success" in being a good Jew. We squeeze every issue of Judaism under a magnifying glass with nauseating precision. It isn't "enough" to do this or that .... one must do more and more with the result that many choose to do "nothing" rather than fail. Tolerance of others and each other must become our watchword.


(64) Anonymous 3/11/2008 1:06:00 PM
Your cry for help touched me!
It is tragic that so many of our nation are being lost. We live in an era where any and everything can be easily obtained. There has to be a desire to search. If parents or grandparents abandoned Yiddishkeit, it is so very difficult for the children to even make any attempt. For all those that are trying to make the comeback, with all the focus in todays society on glitz, and excitement, I truly feel they are amazing. Perhaps you should do advertize a community Shabbos and have some people speak etc, and ask the people in the community to host your guests...like a Shabbaton, but on a smaller community like beginning. Or a Purim Seuda, or a Shiur that ends with a question and answer session. I want to thank you for always inspiring me to try to elevate myself spiritually. Your staff at Aish are amazing. Hatzlocha Rabba.


(65) Sandy Blass-Martens 3/11/2008 12:44:00 PM
Accepting those who wish to "deassimilate"
I am a product of assimilation. My father is a Jew and Holocaust survivor, my mother a Christian. Growing up, my mother, though she never converted, was gracious enough to learn observance of the holidays and the great Jewish cooking that went along with them! Through my father's experience and our observance as a family, my sense of my own Jewishness and loyalty to it was deeply ingrained, despite the fact that according to Jewish law, I am no Jew at all.

After a time of walking away from all observance, and now wanting very much to continue with an embrace of my Judaism, my Christian husband and I have tried the Reform synagogue but find that even though they accept me as a Jew, my desire for Torah observance does not receive great support in Reform circles. As a family (with our two children) we observe the holidays, Shabbat, and keep Kosher.

As Miriam commented, I would say that acceptance in the Jewish community is the most important need of all, for non-observant Jews and us "1/2 Jews" trying to return to observance and reverse the flow of assimilation.

I know from experience that the church is not the answer. Being unable to embrace the trinitarian god means acceptance cannot be found there either. To Christians who know me and know my beliefs, I will always be a Jew.

I think the Jewish community has a great opportunity to embrace those of us who long for support of their Torah observance within that community. Right now however, finding a home in the synagogue seems difficult at best.

I hesitated to even post a comment here, being unsure as to whether it is even my place to do so. Another symptom of the lack of community, I suppose.




(66) Tova 3/11/2008 12:09:00 PM
reflections
I have attended both classes at the local JCC and at a conservative synagogue. In both cases, the instructors were cool to me when I, a rather unaffiliated Jewish woman married to a Gentile, attempted to reach out. In one case, the instructor was much friendlier to several blonde shiksas who were thinking of converting, and would pay this instructor for lessons. The coldness really hurt. One was even the wife of a rabbi who shared my profession. i called her at home and she really brushed me off. None of this is welcoming to JEWS who want to reconnect with their community. Let me tell you, jews for jesus is really friendly.


(67) Giacomo 3/11/2008 11:31:00 AM

The Torah is like the most powerful car engine ever made. The prophets are the satellite navigator. When you find lost in a journey you do not stop the car, lift the bonnet and start to pull the engine apart in order to find your destination. You look at your satNav. Reading the prophets, we find the solution to the problem.


(68) Laiv 3/11/2008 11:09:00 AM
Identity=purpose=peace
How can we as a people expect nothing but statistics like this when we look over at Israel, which calls itself a Jewish nation, but in fact is a secular nation made up of many people some of whom have Jewish backgrounds. We Jews have only one place from where we can find our Identity, not as a religion, but as a nation, the Torah. And because we have lost sight of this, we have lost site of who we are. When one loses site of their identity, then one has also lost site of their purpose. Loosing site of ones purpose in life leads one to hopelessness, and without hope, their is no shalom. Hashem did not create a religion, He created a nation, with a purpose and an identity. The world needs our people more then ever to embrace their purpose, which in turn will save our people from themselves. Because we have hidden ourselves from our purpose, to bring Torah, the light, to the nations, with clever justifications and rationalizations, we have lost ourselves in the process, and in turn, the world has made it harder on us, because it is just as lost. Their is no greater purpose then to share Hashems love with the world and this is done by sharing His Torah and fulling our purpose as a Jewish nation. The only way to stem the tide of such statistics is embrace our purpose as a Jewish nation.


(69) David 3/11/2008 10:50:00 AM

Obviously there is no easy answer for this difficult crisis we are seeing in Judaism. And there is probably no one single answer either.
Being a Jew who was nearly totally assimilated, but is now preparing to study at Yeshiva in May, and who is working one step at a time on a life of Mitzvot, I can talk about what happened to me.
The best thing that happened was getting to Israel. It gave me a chance to see things I did not know existed. It put me in touch with the reality that the Jewish Culture was an amazing one. But that wont be enough. It is the Torah that we need to cling to, not culture specifically. Young Jews need to see things like the Holocaust Museam. To gain some IDENTITY. To see what our people have been slaughtered for. But still that wont be enough. They need Torah. But How? How does someone with their own closed mind, open up to hearing about Torah? Firstly they need someone to relate to. Typically someone in a Streimel is not going to be relatable for a secular Jew. You need someone they think is "normal".
For the individual who is going to talk to the secular Jew...well he has a tough task. But today, people want Torah to make sense. They want the possibility of evolution, and big bang to fit. And it very much might? There are many Rabbi's with info about how the age of the universe does not conflict at all with Torah teachings. Next people want spirituality. They want to understand the deeper meaning to things. If they have to have rules, there must be a very spiritualized reason for them to be observed. And of course there is...but this is what people want now. It is not adequate to talk about just evil, and punishment. Plus most people who dont know better think Judaism views things like the Christians. There view of Hashem etc. It is time to de-Christianize their minds, and show them the Truth. And one last thing, they need Shabbatons with a Carlebach Kabbalat Shabbat, that goes on all night! That will fill them with enough Simcha, to open their minds.
Oh and Aryeh Kaplan books will change a person in an instant as well.
Hope that helps!



(70) Andras Bereny 3/11/2008 9:48:00 AM
Aliyah is the only answer
.


(71) Yoheved 3/11/2008 8:53:00 AM
Keep it Kosher but be VIBRANT
I am a conservative Jew, I trully love Judaism in kosher form. However, to sell something you must make it appealing. Do we as Jews make Channukah as special for our youth as the others make their feasts??? And to answer the question of our survival...it is the YOUTH that must carry on the torch. Do we make SHABBAT appealing yet ever so holy??? We have a precious Kohen at our shul that leads the services when our Rabbi is out. He interjects new life into the services by humor, kosher of course/ and he also may have a reading in English as well as the Hebrew to thrust more interest to those who do not understand what they are davening about. Is our allegience to Israel promoted??? with the singing of HaTikvah during services. As far as our youth, can they be excited about their faith if maybe they are included more, instead of pushed aside. Could they on other days of the week besides Shabbat have plays on Purim, as related to today's fight against Judaism being stamped out by a Greeko-Roman society??? Purim is as relavant to us today as in Hadassah's time. Many people do not catch the drift until it relates to them personally therefore keeping their interest and vibrancy to be a Jew.


(72) Matt 3/11/2008 8:30:00 AM
We need a sharply targeted Madison Avenue campaign
There are many secular Jews who experience spirituality crises or perhaps moments of need with respect to spiritual direction. Maybe they are in mid-life crisis, maybe they are having children for the first time, maybe they are overwhelmed in college. During these crucial intervals, they would probably be more receptive to learning about a "5700 year old Secret; A secret that people have died for; A secret that has disproportionately produced top talent in every field across the board throughout history; A secret that confers happiness and comfort in one's most troubled and darkest times. A secret that these people have already been a part of whether they knew it or not! And now they have a chance to learn about that secret to enrich their lives, to strengthen their families and to help make the world a better place. All it would take to learn about this Secret is a little bit of curiosity and one hour a week with a master of the secret. (Torah study) It costs nothing, but it will open one's eyes to a new realm of purpose and meaning. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain.


(73) judith 3/11/2008 6:04:00 AM
hasidut is the answer
Shalom Rabbi,
Hasidut is the answer. It's very "deep", and simple way to explain the "true", the "Torah". Gur and Chabad know how to teach sensitivity, which lacks so much in this planet. Many Jews might do turism out of the community been curious but one day they will come back and will realise/wake up that Torah is the True.
Shalom from Paris


(74) Roman 3/10/2008 10:33:00 PM

Hello Rav! I can certainly relate to what you say, but from the other side of the fence. I am in conversion classes, and find Judaism fascinating. The most important thing to me is the fact that I feel needed, and wanted. Perhaps it is the lack of feeling wanted as a 'Jew'. The thing that really surprises me is, is there a way to present Judaism to the people the way Christianity does its religion and culture? I can turn on the TV anyday, and find religious programming that you can watch 24/7. Why not Judaism? I am already experiencing some difficulty with regard to my children, and would so appreciate Jewish Television.
How's that for starters?


(75) Ronduck 3/10/2008 10:03:00 PM
Emigration is the answer
As a gentile who wandered onto this board I have to agree with those who believe that you should move to Israel to survive as a group. If you are going to persist as a group then you will have to separate yourself from American society. If you are going to separate yourselves from society then you should live in a different place from us American Gentiles. If you need to live in a geographically different place the you should live in a different country among your own kind: Israel.


(76) Seth 3/10/2008 5:53:00 PM
I agree with David
Unfortunately we spend too much time fighting amongst ourselves that I think we sometimes miss oportunities. Even if philosophies are different we are still Jews. Some levels of observance may not be the same but to turn one's back on a brother because you feel morally superior because you are more observant? I grew up in a Jewish household that was not observant and it took me time but I managed to find my way to obervance but it was because I had someone that didn't judge me. Instead they did what we all should do. They cut me slack and I learned the correct paths to follow. A person leads by example not with a leash..


(77) feiv 3/10/2008 4:28:00 PM
to miriam
i would like to suggest that you ask yourself:
are you looking to find Truth?
are you looking to find why you were created? what is your purpose? what are your obligations?
what does your Creator ask of you?
what does your Creator do for you?

or are you looking for a social club?

if there was a million dollar check waiting for you in someones home, but the people who lived there didnt meet your expectations of social conduct, would you refuse to enter and claim your money?

i would like to suggest you keep looking, and look a little deeper and harder.
maybe read "a handbook of Jewish thought" by Aryeh Kaplan


(78) Shirah 3/10/2008 1:10:00 PM
Connections
I agree the posts with the Jews who've tried to become part of a community and have been shunned by the congregation. It's natural to be wary of strangers, but that wariness is our downfall. Every Jewish organization needs outreach folks at every event who's "job" is to talk to new faces and make people feel they're welcome. I've belonged to a Conservative synagogue for several years and still feel shunned because few talk to me at an oneg or kiddush. I have more connection to other Jews when I help with Sisterhood events rather than with the main congregation, and if it weren't for my children needing a Jewish education, I wouldn't see a reason to belong to a congregation at all.

Events needs to be advertised and active members of the community need to be encouraged to come, and offering free or low cost babysitting might help. Events need to range from secular topics like financial planning to Torah topics in order to appeal to a wide range of interests. Organizers also need to have these events on a regular basis with a phone committee or just friends passing word from mouth to mouth. Sometimes attendance may be low, but consistently offering the events will allow people to attend at least once in a while if they can plan their schedule around it. Again having someone there to greet and to encourage new people is necessary. After the event, follow up on the new people, but don't nag about membership or joining a committee. Just connect and if someone feels that they belong and have one who is interested in them, they'd be more willing to help in some capacity.

Organize events and services that include different age ranges. Events for "empty nesters" who don't want to deal with little ones running amok, and events for families where those little one are welcomed. Events for teens, singles, etc. Having just people who have the time to attend will cull young families with already tight schedules, and most certainly will put off young adults.

Don't burn out current active members. Continuously cycle through committee members or event organizers giving active members a break.

People don't mind paying for the cost of handouts or donating to refreshments if it's clear that doing so will keep the program going. Of course, those who can't pay shouldn't feel obligated.

The bottom line is that Jews need to connect to other Jews more often and with feelings of bringing Jews together to share life. Churches follow this plan, and make people feel good about coming. J