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Around seven years ago I was at a Shabbat morning service at a temple where they had breakout sessions on various topics. I chose a discussion group titled, "Finding Meaning at Work." I remember sitting in a circle with about a dozen men and women of various ages and we were all asked to say what we did for a living. The person who started was a man in his eighties who stated that he was one of the architects of the Hydrogen bomb. He said he had trouble sleeping to this day, knowing that he was in part responsible for a weapon capable of apocalyptic destruction. The only thing that gave him comfort was the thought that maybe creating such a weapon helped to act as a deterrent to ever using it. Next up -- and I promise this is true -- was a man in his fifties who worked for a defense contractor that helped develop an air-based missile delivery system for nuclear weapons. The two gentlemen had plenty to talk about -- nightmares and rationalizations about how their jobs ultimately led to peace. Our small circle was very sympathetic toward these two men, offering literal and figurative pats on the back for their willingness to share their pain. Then it was my turn. "Hello, my name is Jeff Astrof and I write sitcoms for a living." I was greeted with a chorus of boos. Unbelievable! Here were two men sitting to my left who could potentially be responsible for Armageddon and I'm being skewered for writing jokes! I don't remember how the rest of the discussion went; my guess is that I said I found meaning in my job by being able to make people laugh, which is absolutely true. In fact, a member of that same congregation once told me that an episode of "Friends" I had written had made a good friend of hers laugh when she was undergoing chemotherapy. My guess is the guy who invented the H-bomb never got that. Since that time, my wife and I have had two healthy children (thank God) and we have both become observant Jews who are very involved in our Orthodox community. And I am still a sitcom writer. Now, there are many people who find being an observant Jew incompatible with writing sitcoms. First of all, there is the challenge presented by keeping Shabbos; many shows film or tape on Friday nights and there is a strong feeling of camaraderie that is broken when you tell your fellow non-observant Jewish writers that you have to leave at three in the afternoon on a winter Friday while they'll have to stay until near midnight, or that you'll need most of September or October off for a holiday that they've never heard of. It's still hard for me to ask for Shemini Atzeret off with a straight face. But, thank God again, I have been blessed with working for people who have been okay with it --especially the non-Jews. There are other challenges that include being in an environment that can become vulgar or gossipy. I am trying my best not to indulge in that (you should hear some of the stories...) but, ahem, I digress. I was recently confronted point-blank about the seeming paradox of being a merchant of secular entertainment while refraining from eating treif. I was interviewed by a magazine that caters to the religious world about a Torah class that some other "Hollywood types" and I were taking. I was about 20 minutes into the interview when the interviewer dropped the million dollar question, "When do you think that your Yiddishkeit will force you to stop being a television writer?"
I was immediately taken back to the people in that circle who thought that what I did was more destructive than nuclear weapons. I'm telling jokes, I'm not peddling pornography! I paused then answered something like, "God willing, never. It's what I do. And rather than let my job define who I am, I want to be an example of how I can imbue meaning into my job." In hindsight, I may not have used the word "imbue," but if I didn't, I wish I had. A rabbi and friend of mine, Rabbi David Aaron of Isralight, tells the story of a screenwriter who, before sitting down to write a screenplay, asks God to "use him" as a vessel. I was so inspired by that story that I started saying a prayer every morning before I go into work: "God, please make me funny today. Please make me smart and creative. Please make me a good leader and a good follower. And please make me not do anything bad for the Jews." Most of the time it works. On that level I am imbuing my work with spirituality -- there, I do imbue -- and am giving a joke or a story meaning by attributing it to the Creator. The same way that I say a blessing over my breakfast, I am adding a little bit of holiness into the words that hopefully millions of people will hear. That's not to say that every joke I pitch is God's best attempt at humor; believe me, I've pitched some clunkers that definitely did not come from Above. But it does give me a sense of perspective about my job. I don't pretend that my job is as important as a congregational Rabbi, or a Torah scholar or someone who runs a drug treatment facility. In fact, if you asked a random person on the street to list the 100 most important jobs in the world, starting with the letter "s," sitcom writer probably wouldn't make the cut. But it is what I do best. I was recently at a NCSY parenting seminar and one of the Rabbis there said, "If you want to know what your purpose in life is, it's what you're good at." What I'm good at is telling stories in 22 minutes. I can either attach holiness to that, or not. I choose to go for the holy. Because when I involve God, it automatically makes my job more important. By eating kosher, by leaving early on Friday, by wearing a baseball cap to cover my head every day while telling silly jokes I am doing God's work. And nothing is more meaningful than that. (I want to thank God for helping me write this article. Any typos are mine.) Published: Sunday, December 02, 2007
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Hear related audio on this topic
"If you want to know what your purpose in life is, it's what you're good at."
1st off, I must admit that I haven't seen any TV for years, so I don't have a clue about these particular shows. But what I do know is that the Lubavitcher Rebbe, and chasidut in general, teach us that anything can exist in this world only due to the divine spark inside. I think it's wonderful that you manage to extract sparks even from the banality of sitcoms and to elevate them to holiness.
We need all the laughs we can get in this world, for good health and to enable us to better serve G-d with joy.
(2) andrea 12/5/2007 10:25:00 PM
Nigunim
This was clearly an amazing article for more than one reason...look at all the talk it generated! Jews, talking to and at each other...if we only listen, maybe we will get some of that Ahavat Yisrael I mentioned before.
You are going to need that Ahavat Yisrael, because I have no doubt some people reading this will have issues with Chassidut (I am not Chassidic, and appreciate all Jews on the spectrum, including the ones who are comepletely secular)
Niggunim were traditionally wordless melodies that often took their roots in something totally secular, mundane, or even unholy...Le marseilleise,songs of shepherds, drinking songs and when they were utilized as Niggunim, a spiritual phenomenon in itself, they were elevated to Holy Things.
Anyone who has ever been at a Chassidic Wedding knows the power of all those people singing the same niggun together, and anyone who has ever sat at my Shabbat Table, has also been able to join in with our rendition of Dror Yikra, as long as they are familiar with 'Sloop John B' by the Beachboys. REally. Look up the lyrics, but a more beautiful version of Dror Yikra, I have NEVER heard. Making the mundane holy. I am ALL for that.
So, the next time you think you hear a Tefila or a Tehilla sung to the the FRench National Anthem at Shul, think about our little discussion here, about what is holy and what is not, and consider that all those people lost in their passion of Kavana while they sing to the tune of the French National Anthem. I doubt anything could be much holier than finding holiness where there was none before.
(3) Miri 12/5/2007 6:02:00 PM
Comment about Friends
While it's true Friends is a show that's not as light as people think and deals with important themes such as friendship, relationships and family in a meaningful way, there are a few drawbacks to it. Namely the sex. Sex is casual. That's not so holy. But then again, Jeff is trying to speak to a culture that has sex before marriage so to leave that out completely would ring fake.
The Torah doesn't leave out the bad actions. It shows people behaving badly. To not show this is to not show how people can progress.
One of the shows that I really like is called "Life as we know it". At first, these male friends start out as being interested in one thing, than it progresses to them wanting more. That show I found really had a holy message by the end of it, despite all the behavoir which would be shocking to the very orthodox.
The audience that Jeff is trying to reach isn't Torah observant. They don't have the same values towards sex and marriage that the religious community has. To influence them means speaking to them on their level and relating to them based on their lives. If you are going to speak to them, you aren't going to show a religious orthodox man going about his business as that's not Joe Shmo. He's not universal. What you are going to show is people with faults.
While friends does this to some extent, perhaps it puts humor above this. Humor is a dangerous tool because someone who is funny, who can make people laugh can also desensitize people to certain issues.
I think 'Friends' desensitizes people in this way and that is not a good thing but what is good is that it shows people the importance of friendship as many times the characters help each other through tough situations.