Two people who want to have a good relationship need to be
aware of a basic principle: When each one tries to pull the
other to his own direction, there will be conflict and constant
But when people focus on their common goals, the differences
between them will not cause difficulties, and they will have a
Whenever you find yourself about to quarrel with another
person, ask yourself, "What goals do we have in common?"
This way of looking at the situation will make it easier for you
to find a solution that will be satisfactory to both
(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4,
p.16; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")
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