Two people who want to have a good relationship need to be
aware of a basic principle: When each one tries to pull the
other to his own direction, there will be conflict and constant
quarrel.
But when people focus on their common goals, the differences
between them will not cause difficulties, and they will have a
peaceful relationship.
Whenever you find yourself about to quarrel with another
person, ask yourself, "What goals do we have in common?"
This way of looking at the situation will make it easier for you
to find a solution that will be satisfactory to both
(see Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler - Michtav MaiEliyahu, vol.4,
p.16; Rabbi Pliskin's "Consulting the Wise")
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About the Author
More by this Author >
Rabbi Zelig Pliskin is a noted psychologist and prolific author of 24 books, including Guard Your Tongue, Gateway to Happiness, Gateway to Self Knowledge, Love Your Neighbor, Growth Through Torah, The Power of Words, Consulting the Wise, and the recent Life is Now. Rabbi Pliskin lives in Jerusalem, and is the director of Aish HaTorah's Counseling Center and a senior lecturer at Aish's Essentials program and the Executive Learning Center. He was ordained at the Telshe Yeshiva in Ohio and holds a degree in Counseling Psychology.